I Am Feeling So Discouraged

[Sandi & Chase in AZ]

Chase is doing so much better, but understanding his spreadsheet and knowing if, when or how much to shoot is confusing me so much. I had been following the advice of a vet so I had been in that groove. Now I will try to do it on my own, if I can. Seems like I'm hurting him more than helping him, according to what I've been doing. I just want to do the right thing by him. He's my life. I'm just feeling depressed, today. Sorry... I just needed to vent. Thanks.

 

[Kris & Teasel]

Chase is doing so much better, but understanding his spreadsheet and knowing if, when or how much to shoot is confusing me so much. I had been following the advice of a vet so I had been in that groove. Now I will try to do it on my own, if I can. Seems like I'm hurting him more than helping him, according to what I've been doing. I just want to do the right thing by him. He's my life. I'm just feeling depressed, today. Sorry... I just needed to vent. Thanks.

Sandi, you don't have to go it alone. Please go post on the Lantus & Levemir forum. It's the largest forum here and there are many very knowledgeable, experienced people there to guide you. After you post there, start reading the info stickies to learn more about your insulin and give some thought to which dosing protocol works best for you, TR or SLGS. Those acronyms will make sense once you start your reading.

 

[Sandi & Chase in AZ]

Thank you so much. I have already decided to go with SLGS to start with, as I work full time plus and need to get into a good groove before tackling the TR. Someone was nice enough to do my spreadsheet for me but I'm making a mess of it. And once I realized what I had done I tried to get into it today and it won't let me do anything with it. I just feel like an idiot, Kris. Someone already put the spreadsheet together for me. You'd think that would be enough. But it's so many numbers to look at. Some of my frustration is that I work so many hours and am single, so Chase depends solely on me. When I get home at night my eyes are so tired, after looking at 2 computer screens 10 plus hours a day for my job. I only have a laptop and it has been running so painfully slow that I have had to reboot numerous times just to make a post or get back to see if there any responses. It's also so hard to read such small print after looking at a computer all day. I am giving my laptop to an IT guy this weekend so he can wipe it clean for me to start from scratch. I used to have a great computer but lost in a fire almost 4 years ago, with most everything else. Thank God Chase and I got out ok. Anyway, there's so much... it's overwhelming. I need a scale to weigh him. I need a human meter and the kind that was suggested I get was not at Walmart when I went last night. Perhaps I can re-group this weekend. I was also urged to change his food. I am SO praying that it doesn't hurt his BG. I am desperate to get the poor boy regulated. His poor ears are so full of red marks. I'm so sorry. I know I am complaining. Just overwhelmed.

I so appreciate you responding to my post. I am all alone, for the most part, so it's nice to know that others care.

 

[Nan & Amber (GA)]

It will get easier, but I won't lie, it's always hard, especially when you have a work schedule that limits your ability to monitor. Just take it one step at a time. I agree with the some of the folks on your Lantus thread-- plan on getting a curve on the weekend just to get more data, and try to find a dose that can be shot consistently. I think the 0.5U this morning was a good call-- maybe let that be your new "starting dose" since you had to skip a bunch of shots this week.

Looking at Chase's spreadsheet, I totally get why you're frustrated right now-- you're in that uncomfortable in-between zone where the numbers are coming down enough that it's scary to shoot when you can't monitor, but it's clear that he still needs insulin. It's a good thing his numbers are down, though! And Kris is right, the Lantus folks are fonts of awesome advice on where to go from here-- they will help you deal with this awkward phase and get him feeling even better.

Just read your latest post, so I'll add this as I sign off: a little pressure and a dab of neosporin/polysporin ointment (not cream) on the ears does wonders to speed up the healing! And that part will definitely get easier over time-- it will take fewer pokes and just overall be a smoother process. You'll get there!

 

[Kris & Teasel]

Thank you so much. I have already decided to go with SLGS to start with, as I work full time plus and need to get into a good groove before tackling the TR. Someone was nice enough to do my spreadsheet for me but I'm making a mess of it. And once I realized what I had done I tried to get into it today and it won't let me do anything with it. I just feel like an idiot, Kris. Someone already put the spreadsheet together for me. You'd think that would be enough. But it's so many numbers to look at. Some of my frustration is that I work so many hours and am single, so Chase depends solely on me. When I get home at night my eyes are so tired, after looking at 2 computer screens 10 plus hours a day for my job. I only have a laptop and it has been running so painfully slow that I have had to reboot numerous times just to make a post or get back to see if there any responses. It's also so hard to read such small print after looking at a computer all day. I am giving my laptop to an IT guy this weekend so he can wipe it clean for me to start from scratch. I used to have a great computer but lost in a fire almost 4 years ago, with most everything else. Thank God Chase and I got out ok. Anyway, there's so much... it's overwhelming. I need a scale to weigh him. I need a human meter and the kind that was suggested I get was not at Walmart when I went last night. Perhaps I can re-group this weekend. I was also urged to change his food. I am SO praying that it doesn't hurt his BG. I am desperate to get the poor boy regulated. His poor ears are so full of red marks. I'm so sorry. I know I am complaining. Just overwhelmed.

I so appreciate you responding to my post. I am all alone, for the most part, so it's nice to know that others care.

Hi Sandi,
I posted at length on your Lantus forum thread and gave you some homework to do! I'm a retired teacher so I can't help myself. I do this all on my own too so I get how you feel. This forum is a fabulous support - use it as much as you need anytime.

 

[Kris & Teasel]

Thank you so much. I have already decided to go with SLGS to start with, as I work full time plus and need to get into a good groove before tackling the TR. Someone was nice enough to do my spreadsheet for me but I'm making a mess of it. And once I realized what I had done I tried to get into it today and it won't let me do anything with it. I just feel like an idiot, Kris. Someone already put the spreadsheet together for me. You'd think that would be enough. But it's so many numbers to look at. Some of my frustration is that I work so many hours and am single, so Chase depends solely on me. When I get home at night my eyes are so tired, after looking at 2 computer screens 10 plus hours a day for my job. I only have a laptop and it has been running so painfully slow that I have had to reboot numerous times just to make a post or get back to see if there any responses. It's also so hard to read such small print after looking at a computer all day. I am giving my laptop to an IT guy this weekend so he can wipe it clean for me to start from scratch. I used to have a great computer but lost in a fire almost 4 years ago, with most everything else. Thank God Chase and I got out ok. Anyway, there's so much... it's overwhelming. I need a scale to weigh him. I need a human meter and the kind that was suggested I get was not at Walmart when I went last night. Perhaps I can re-group this weekend. I was also urged to change his food. I am SO praying that it doesn't hurt his BG. I am desperate to get the poor boy regulated. His poor ears are so full of red marks. I'm so sorry. I know I am complaining. Just overwhelmed.

I so appreciate you responding to my post. I am all alone, for the most part, so it's nice to know that others care.

You've been through the wars for sure! Don't feel bad about asking for help with your SS. Many of us (raises hand) needed @Marje and Gracie to set it up for us. People here on FDMB are always willing to help. This is now my volunteer work - seriously!

Take things slowly like that old "How do you eat an elephant?" joke.

 

[LizzieInTexas]

@Sandi & Chase in AZ

Anytime you need help let me know (send a PM). I will do what I can. I work in excel spreadsheets all day/every day but still trying to figure out the Google Drive and the way this SS works you definitely aren't alone there.

 

[Shoeskitty-GA]

It's an added burden when one is doing this completely alone and then throw having to work full time in the mix and it's easy to be discouraged and depressed. Then add in sleep deprivation and you have a recipe for a crying breakdown, etc. I totally get where you are as I am in the same situation. Have been doing this for almost 1 year now and I can honestly tell you that it will get better. I won't promise you that Chase will become regulated but it will even out some. He will eventually have more even days for a longer period of time before bouncing up, etc. Just don't be pushed into doing things too fast or that you are not comfortable with. It's okay to cry too. Remember that it's always better to be too high than to be too low, even for 1 second. When I get discouraged, I tell myself that I must be doing something right as my Shoes is still alive and doing okay, so I am sure that you are doing something right too!

 

[Kris & Teasel]

It's an added burden when one is doing this completely alone and then throw having to work full time in the mix and it's easy to be discouraged and depressed. Then add in sleep deprivation and you have a recipe for a crying breakdown, etc. I totally get where you are as I am in the same situation. Have been doing this for almost 1 year now and I can honestly tell you that it will get better. I won't promise you that Chase will become regulated but it will even out some. He will eventually have more even days for a longer period of time before bouncing up, etc. Just don't be pushed into doing things too fast or that you are not comfortable with. It's okay to cry too. Remember that it's always better to be too high than to be too low, even for 1 second. When I get discouraged, I tell myself that I must be doing something right as my Shoes is still alive and doing okay, so I am sure that you are doing something right too!

Hear! Hear! I'm very lucky to be retired and doing this. I can't imagine how hard it is when you're working long hours.

 

[Yong & Maury GA]

Hang in there, Sandi! I don't have much data on Maury but I would be happy if I saw more blues and yellows that your Chase's SS has . Something is working there! Just remember, you're not alone, you have amazing people here on the forum

 

[Squalliesmom]

Sandi, don't get discouraged. I think we've all probably been where you are. I know I have. It took me forever to learn to "read" the spreadsheet and, just when I finally had it figured out, I changed insulins so had to start all over again as the two insulins are dosed completely differently. For some reason, too, I seem to have the "touch of death" when it comes to spreadsheets - I can't tell you how many times I have managed to foul it up and have had to ask someone to fix it for me!

My poor Squallie hates the ear-pricks, always has, and it took the longest time for me to get them to bleed. He has very thin ears so I almost always go completely through. I found that free-handing the lancet, rather than using the lancing device, gave me better control and visibility, and the Neosporin ointment helps a lot, too.

I know how overwhelming and depressing it can be, but it really will get easier. You are definitely not hurting Chase more than you are helping him! You are doing your best for him, and sometimes that just involves trial and error. You will get it sorted out, have no fear!

 

[Marje and Gracie]

Sandi

I’ll double check the SS. Since I already did it for you, I have editing rights so any time you have an issue with it, just let me know.

It’s always hard starting out but I promise that in a month, you will read back on this and be amazed at how far you have come.

edited to add: I don’t know if someone worked on the SS but it looks just fine to me.

 

[Squeaky and KT (GA)]

Hi Sandi! Oh when all this is still swirling around in our heads and hasn't found it's landing spot yet, it's REALLY frustrating. We all get it. One thing I've learned - when you get to the point you're at right now, the 'AH HA' moments are just around the corner! Pieces will start landing in the right places and slowly the road straightens out.

HUGS!!!

 

[jayla-n-Drevon]