GA My civvie Cookie - when is it time?

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Wendy&Tiggy(GA)

Wendy&Tiggy(GA)

Member Since 2011
For the last seven months Cookie has been fighting Oral Squamous Cell Cancer (inoperable under her tongue). Vets recommended no treatment - no treatment would work.

So we have been giving her metacam orally once a day (knowing it would kill her long term but we were told she only had 2-3 months!), and buprenorphine. Every few weeks the bupe would be less effective as the cancer grows and she would start to play less, and eat less. So we would increase the dose and she would be fine again. However she hasn't been eating as much as she needs, and despite us using high calorie food, treats, high calorie paste etc etc, she has been losing weight slowly.

She is now on 0.2ml of bupe three times a day which is the maximum a cat her weight can get and be effective since supposedly bupe becomes less effective at higher doses*..

Anyway for the last 4-5 days she hasn't eaten much - 1/4 of what she needs to maintain her weight a day. We increased her dose of bupe to 0.22ml but, unlike in the past, the increase made no difference (see * above). She doesn't show any real interest in eating - she doesn't seem hungry.

Meanwhile she is still seeking us out for cuddles and scritches. She comes and sleeps on me at night and snuggles often during the day. She purrs when you stroke her. She is bright and alert.

But we can see her starting to weaken - she missed a jump last night which is odd for her. Plus she hangs by the water bowl every so often. She is losing weight and is getting bony. She stopped playing a week ago.

We used a QoL scale and it said its time when they go under 35. My husband and I were different but our average was 37.

But we are conflicted. I am not happy she isn't eating much and I worry about her hanging by the water bowl and weakening due to lack of food. I am not sure she isn't in some discomfort.

However my husband is reluctant to put her to sleep because she still exhibits signs of happiness and engagement....

Am looking for your honest opinion.
 
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Wendy my heart goes out to you. It's hard to make this decision. I've been through both times I waited a day to long.

Fred was 16. Weakening over time. Healthy no medical issues ever. Husband kept saying but he still purrs and eats. I said but he can barely walk anymore. One night he fell over trying to get to litter box and his bladder gave way. I said enough. He deserved better than that.

Callie was 3 legged (1 back leg since age 1) she was 14 yrs. Back end severely arthritic. Her back over time had become quite twisted. We decided we would let her go (trouble walking, used puppy pads last 5 yrs of life) day after Thanksgiving (2014) so husband could be there he works out of state. The night before Thanksgiving she let out a horrible scream. When I got to her she couldn't move her back end. I took her to the ER to let her go. 45 minute ride at 3AM alone. She screamed in pain the whole time and I couldn't do anything to comfort her because I had to drive. I broke all laws of the road to get there as fast as I could. She suffered an embolism which can not be foreseen and extremely painful. I regret waiting to long both times. I don't think I was fair to them.

Only you can decide. You have to be comfortable with the decision. Personally I would for Cookies sake. Her condition will only get worse not better.

Hugs to you and Cookie. Prayers for all of you. Good luck with a tough decision.

Paula
 
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I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. I've had to make it too many times myself. One thing my vet told me, and I've checked it out since, is that cats not only purr when they are happy, but when they are in distress and pain as well. He told me that when I was hesitating because of the purring, I thought he wouldn't do that if he was hurting. As Paula said only you can make the decision. We'll all keep you, your husband and sweet Cookie in our prayers.
 
Wendy, I don't post much any more but felt I wanted to pass along this question.

Are you holding on to Cookie for her sake or for your and your husbands sake? Probably a bit of both. We want to give our beloved pets 'just one more day'.

I've held on to a few pets myself a bit too long, and promised myself that I never wanted to do that again.

It's sounding to me like Cookie's quality of life is rapidly deteriorating. Are hearts and thoughts are with you as you make these difficult end of life choices.

Take it day by day Wendy dear. We'll be here for you.
 
It is very hard to make the decision. It seems that Cookie is getting near that time and my be at that time. Only you exactly know when.
Almost a year ago I said goodbye to my Patches. I heard a thump and found her laying on the floor, she apparently fell off her platform on the bathtub. She could not walk but could pull herself along.
Went to the vet and blood work and x-rays did not show anything. I have been syringe feeding here for at least six months so I made the decision.
 
I'm so sorry you have this decision to make. Only you know when it is that time. You really want to keep her forever because you love her. When you make the decision, you will sacrifice your needs for Cookie's need. Just remember, when the time comes, it will be a decision made out of love. When you decide, release from pain is a gift you can give Cookie.
 
Oh this is so sad, my heart goes out to you! I dread the days I will probably have to do the same for my 4 babies, such a heartbreaking decision. I don't ever want mine to suffer though. Bless you!
 
Oh Wendy, such a terribly hard decision to make, I know. My heart goes out to you, Cookie, and your husband. Only you can know for certain when the time is right to say goodbye, but I would urge you to make the decision before she slides into more decline; in other words, let her go to a much-deserved rest while she is still experiencing a reasonably comfortable life so she won't know suffering. She knows you love her and she trusts you to make the right decisions for her. <3

I hope I will be strong enough to follow my own advice when it comes time for me to make such a decision again.

Sending you love and strength,

Lucy :bighug:
 
I've been thinking about you and worrying, hoping things were okay- well, as okay as things can be when your kitty has cancer. It is the most difficult thing in the world, letting them go when the quality of life isn't there. I found this clip When The Moment Comes helpful, I read it a million times before and a million times more afterward, it helped me a lot. You know Cookie the best , so you have to look carefully into her beautiful eyes and always put her first and follow your heart. Sending you the strongest vines for strength and love- I'm here if you need to talk.
 
She let us know today that its time. The last few days she has occasionally been sitting at her water fountain but would still snuggle in bed and on my knee. Last night and today she spent all day by the fountain and couldn't get comfortable the one time she tried to come on my knee. Sat for 10 minutes and went to sit by the fountain again. She won't make eye contact.

We have an appointment at 5.20pm to help her over the rainbow bridge :(
 
Wendy, my heart is with you. I just went through the same thing with Sammy three days ago. She was so obviously uncomfortable and weakening rapidly, there was no choice. Know that your pain is a testament to the love you and Cookie shared.
 
Wendy&Tiggy(GA) said:
For the last seven months Cookie has been fighting Oral Squamous Cell Cancer (inoperable under her tongue). Vets recommended no treatment - no treatment would work.

So we have been giving her metacam orally once a day (knowing it would kill her long term but we were told she only had 2-3 months!), and buprenorphine. Every few weeks the bupe would be less effective as the cancer grows and she would start to play less, and eat less. So we would increase the dose and she would be fine again. However she hasn't been eating as much as she needs, and despite us using high calorie food, treats, high calorie paste etc etc, she has been losing weight slowly.

She is now on 0.2ml of bupe three times a day which is the maximum a cat her weight can get and be effective since supposedly bupe becomes less effective at higher doses*..

Anyway for the last 4-5 days she hasn't eaten much - 1/4 of what she needs to maintain her weight a day. We increased her dose of bupe to 0.22ml but, unlike in the past, the increase made no difference (see * above). She doesn't show any real interest in eating - she doesn't seem hungry.

Meanwhile she is still seeking us out for cuddles and scritches. She comes and sleeps on me at night and snuggles often during the day. She purrs when you stroke her. She is bright and alert.

But we can see her starting to weaken - she missed a jump last night which is odd for her. Plus she hangs by the water bowl every so often. She is losing weight and is getting bony. She stopped playing a week ago.

We used a QoL scale and it said its time when they go under 35. My husband and I were different but our average was 37.

But we are conflicted. I am not happy she isn't eating much and I worry about her hanging by the water bowl and weakening due to lack of food. I am not sure she isn't in some discomfort.

However my husband is reluctant to put her to sleep because she still exhibits signs of happiness and engagement....

Am looking for your honest opinion.
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This is one of the hardest things we have to do with our fur babies, is knowing when to let them go. Ask her, she will tell you. My Sug, GA did. I heard her say loud and clear, "Please, let me go" And it still was very hard to do. Good luck with your decision. You'll know when.
 
woodsywife said:
Wendy my heart goes out to you. It's hard to make this decision. I've been through both times I waited a day to long.

Fred was 16. Weakening over time. Healthy no medical issues ever. Husband kept saying but he still purrs and eats. I said but he can barely walk anymore. One night he fell over trying to get to litter box and his bladder gave way. I said enough. He deserved better than that.

Callie was 3 legged (1 back leg since age 1) she was 14 yrs. Back end severely arthritic. Her back over time had become quite twisted. We decided we would let her go (trouble walking, used puppy pads last 5 yrs of life) day after Thanksgiving (2014) so husband could be there he works out of state. The night before Thanksgiving she let out a horrible scream. When I got to her she couldn't move her back end. I took her to the ER to let her go. 45 minute ride at 3AM alone. She screamed in pain the whole time and I couldn't do anything to comfort her because I had to drive. I broke all laws of the road to get there as fast as I could. She suffered an embolism which can not be foreseen and extremely painful. I regret waiting to long both times. I don't think I was fair to them.

Only you can decide. You have to be comfortable with the decision. Personally I would for Cookies sake. Her condition will only get worse not better.

Hugs to you and Cookie. Prayers for all of you. Good luck with a tough decision.

Paula
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Oh Paula, I am sorry you had to go through that by yourself.
 
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can totally relate. I lost my Molly to sudden death in September. Then in October, my brother's dog had to be put down because they discovered a large cancerous tumor during a dental check, and just 2 weeks ago on November 16th, our cat Scully who had cancer also, left us. She had to be put down.

I empathize with you trying to make this tough decision because we were in this exact same boat recently. Scully was doing well, considering her condition, she was really "rallying" (that was the vet's own words). We got her special urgent care food and my husband fed her every night with a syringe for about 2 weeks. The rest of the time she ate on her own, when she was given appetite stimulant medication for cats. That really worked and she seemed quite happy and active (mostly), but I worried because cats are infamous for being able to hide sickness. S

It was Sunday night at 1 in the morning and he heard a noise. It was Scully. She had fallen, but seemed fine. Less than an hour later, she became still. She started breathing heavily.
She didn't look at us when we touched her. She seemed "out of it". I felt that she was leaving us, and ultimately, suffering at that moment. We could not wait for the vet to open. That would have been wrong. I kissed her head and my husband walked out the door with her. At 2 a.m. he texted me to say she was gone. He stayed with her until the last second. I had to stay at the house. She was 14 and he found her as a kitten. I regret that she suffered at all, even for an hour. That was too long, but we did our best to figure it all out.

It is an agonizing decision. You feel guilt if you cut their life short, but you also don't want them to suffer because you love them. I get it. It's so hard.

You are the one who knows your cat the best. I would say go with your instinct on this. If you think she is okay, hang on a little longer and love on her endlessly!!!! If you think she's not doing well, then it is okay for you to let her go, with love and peace.

best of wishes
 
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Wendy&Tiggy(GA) said:
She let us know today that its time. The last few days she has occasionally been sitting at her water fountain but would still snuggle in bed and on my knee. Last night and today she spent all day by the fountain and couldn't get comfortable the one time she tried to come on my knee. Sat for 10 minutes and went to sit by the fountain again. She won't make eye contact.

We have an appointment at 5.20pm to help her over the rainbow bridge :(
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Love, cuddle and kiss as long as you can. Then when the time comes, know that all of us has formed a circle around you for comfort and support.
 
My heart just hurts so much for you. I know how incredibly painful it is to come to this decision. Listen to Cookie, and know that you are giving her the quintessential, merciful love that she has always trusted you to give her. She will live on forever in your heart.

In strength and love,

Lucy
 
I am so very sorry for your Cookie. As hard as it is (i have done it 3x..all lived over 20 yrs) it is what is best for kitty. You dont want her to suffer anymore. She will be at peace knowing you were with her. My heart goes out to you,

Peace and love,
Barri & Sonny
 
Dearest Wendy,

All our words seem so inadequate to express our sympathies as you have helped yet another cat to the Rainbow Bridge this year.

Hoping that you keep some wonderful memories of your time with your beloved Cookie close to your heart.

candle.jpg

Lighting a ring of candles to remember your beloved Cookie. The circle is never ending, because our memories of our kitties never end.

I don't think Cookie will have any problems finding the Rainbow Bridge.
Rainbow bridge.jpg
 
((((((Wendy)))))) I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear sweet Cookie, you both fought so hard and courageously. Cancer sucks :-( Sending big hugs, healing vines for your broken heart and please know Cookie knew how much you loved her and put her health and happiness first always. You will always be in my heart and thoughts, I wasn't a long time member of this community, but it sure seems like this was an exceptionally horrible year for LL & L. :(

Fly Free Sweet Cookie and land softly- you were so loved.
heartcandle.jpg
 
Nobody should have to endure that much loss in such a short amount of time. Words can't fix the hole in your heart, but I hope you'll find peace knowing that you made the right call when she needed you to, and that all of your kitties are now reunited at the Bridge waiting to see you again some day. Fly free sweet Cookie. Safe journeys.
 
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