@Looby & Smiify
As I recall you have an accu-chek meter. If you google the 'name of your meter' set up there are lots of youtube videos showing you how to set up the meter and take a sample (obviously aimed at human testing) but watch them and get your meter set up and learn how to use the lancets. The code is on the side of the little pot of test strips and you need to put this in as part of the set up and when you open a new pot.
I tried the ear testing but failed because the black ears meant I couldn't see any blood drop even if I got a sample and she just got fed up. I am using the big pad at the back of the rear paws and it is working out well. You do need to make sure the paws are really warm before you take the blood sample and then it is quite simple as the strip just sucks up the blood and the meter beeps to let you know you have a good sample. Start with the pre meal samples so Smiffy associates this with food reward, and if testing at other times give her a little treat once you have done a test even if you can't get a reading. You may not get blood each time but it does get easier the more you try. Try her paws, it will give you confidence if you can get a sample to test.
This is what I do - Cappuccino is quite happy being cuddled for testing and she has even let me take blood a couple of times when she is curled up on her towel and without being held. I leave it on the floor when I am home all day and she often has a nap on it now. Smiffy may need a different kind of holding depending on how she like to be cuddled, you may want to sit on a chair next to a table - whatever makes it easier for you.
First set out your equipment. A large towel on the floor, some alcohol gel or wipes - something to clean the paws. Some vaseline. Cotton wool wipes. An old sock with a handful of rice in it and then knotted to make a little bag. Load up the lancet machine. Push the strip almost into the meter but not far enough to activate it. Make sure you have spare strips to hand in case the blood doesn't go onto it the first time. Everything should be in easy reach for when you sit cross legged on the towel with the cat. Warm the sock in the microwave for 30 seconds, throw it down on the towel then go get the cat. Have good light to work by.
Sit cross legged on the floor, cradle the cat between your legs and on her back, and grasp one of the back paws, apply a tiny blob of alcohol gel and rub in well.
Place the warm sock over the pads and while the foot is warming up make a big fuss of the cat so she associates this with getting good attention.
Once the pads are warm place the lancet machine firmly onto the rear large pad, I have the alphatrak set on 4 which goes nicely into the pad. Press the button and hold for 2-3 seconds before withdrawing and as you put the lancet down push the strip all the way into the meter.
Gently squeeze the paw pad until you see a little blob of blood, the meter should now be ready to read.
Hold the very edge or end (depending on which meter you use) of the test strip onto the top of the blob and it sucks it up and beeps, put the meter down.
Press gently on the paw pad for several seconds with the cotton wool pad to prevent bruising, then rub a small amount of vaseline onto the pad whilst making a fuss of the cat.
By this time the meter should have given you a reading.
Let go of the cat and reward her with a food treat and more fussing.
Using this method seems pretty painless for her, her ears flick as the lancet goes in but she has never tried to struggle to get away. I have had some failures and had to go in a second time to get the blood but I think I didn't leave the sock on long enough. The vaseline helps make the pads soft so testing gets easier as you go along.
If you can build the pre meal testing into your daily routine you can start testing at other times as well. I use the timer on my phone to get some between meal readings and when I am doing a curve.
Your 2 really are conspiring against you aren't they?!
Glad you got her back on track 
!