SCRABBLE Crossed the Bridge 9/19/96-2/12/13

I am reposting this since the switch over on the board it got lost but luckily I saved the thread so I have all of your wonderful comments and support from up to a half hour ago. Things are not well with me, I am overcome with grief along with Tony. We both miss him terribly and pray for strength to get through this!
SCRABBLE crossed the bridge 9/19/96-02/12/13
by Michelle & Scrabble » Tue Feb 12, 2013 7:56 pm

I have been waiting to post for the board to come up and I am sure many of you have seen the news on facebook. I am typing through so many tears right now.
Today was actually Scrabble's 3 year anniversary on lantus. He was one of the lucky one's and went otj for 2 and a half years. He recently started lantus again on 10/31/12

Scrabble is the most special boy in the universe. I cannot even begin to tell you the personality he had. My DH and I are absolutely devastated. My heart is broken in a million pieces I honestly do not know how I will possibly put it back together. I have not stopped crying all day. He was the absolute light of my life, my best friend and my DH's buddy.

I wanted to let all of you know what happened today. Before I went to bed last night I said to Tony (DH) he seems like he doesn't feel good. He brushed it off because he knows I am crazy cat lady. Well my alarm went off this morning for his test and he was not in his bed nor did he come to greet me. I found him in the kitchen not looking well. I then noticed spots of puke all over the place. He then went over to the dining room carpet and poo'ed. He has never done anything like this. I tested him and he was HI. I then tried to get him to eat and I knew something was wrong since he wanted no part of it. I shot him a token dose and then debated whether to take him to er. I decided to go to the store and get some pepcid to try that. When I got back Tony told me he peed all over his bed. I couldn't believe it. We could have taken him to the er but by the time we got there with traffic it was pretty close to when the vet office opened. Scrabble was crying and drooling and his breathing funny I was so worried. The vet took him right away did a quick exam and decided to admit him to get him on an iv since he was dehydrated and start the process of testing him to figure out what was wrong. We left the vet office hoping for some good news. We got home and about 5 minutes later (vet office is 10 min away) the phone rang and it was the vet. She was in tears telling me he collapsed and was barely breathing. I wailed out in tears on the phone. She told me he was on oxygen and not doing well, she asked me the dreaded question do you want us to revive him if he goes into cardiac arrest. I was balling and didn't even know how to answer. She said she would continue to monitor him and call me back. She called back about 15 min later and said he wasn't doing well and he was unresponsive. The test results showed advanced kidney disease and trace ketones. She told me I should come down there and be with him. We raced down there and he looked so bad. He was hooked up to an iv, had on an oxygen mask and he didn't respond to me when I went in the room. I sat with him and petted and discussed our options with the vet. The vet was unsure what exactly happened but his body just seemed to be shutting down. She told me they could try and keep him alive but he was obviously distressed and I didn't want to put him through anything else. So Tony and I made the painful decision to let him go. At one point right before she administered the shot he purred for a brief few seconds. This helped me to know it was time.

The hard part is not knowing what exactly happened. I have been going over and over it in my head driving myself crazy. It was so sudden that is what hurts the most and is so hard. Obviously he had underlying issues that he masked well.

Thank you to everyone on this board for all your support and friendships.
My life will never be the same without my boy. We spent 16 1/2 years together and he was the light of my life. I cannot even tell you how many adventures we have gone through together. He was the best friend anyone could ask for and he was my child. I have lost a piece of me today.
My heart is breaking for Sabrina my civvie, she has not lived her life without him and I know it will be hard on her. She walked in the room a little while ago and looked up at his bed. It was so sad.
Sorry for being so long. Thanks again everyone. Fly free sweet angel!!!!!! Mommy and Daddy love you furrever!!!!
Michelle & Scrabble
Diagnosed 2/10/10
OTJ 5/9/10
Back on Lantus 10/31/12
Scrabble's SS
OTJ video
SCRABBLE'S PROFILE

Michelle & Scrabble

 

Hugs again to all of you....this hole left by them SUCKS!!!

 

I saved my post too. The condo for BigMac really helped me during my grief and I was so worried that you wouldn't get your thread back. I am re-posting my original one for you.
((((Sending you lots of love, Michelle.)))))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I so understand typing through your tears. Seeing that rainbow just made me sob. I am SO sorry, Michelle. What a shock.

A lot what you described reminded me of BigMac and my heart hurts for you and Tony. That last rush to the vet to be there in Scrabble's last moments... I know it was horrible for you but I'm glad you were able to be there for him and comfort him and hear that last purr. It was a tiny blessing meant just for you. I wish you could be comforted by that thought a little.

What a glorious cat he was. You know he will always be special to me as he was my first OTJ video. It is hard to believe that was almost 3 years ago, it seems like yesterday that I was giggling over some of his photos. He brought so much love and joy to you and although I never was lucky enough to pet him in person - he brought joy to me too.

Take care of yourself and allow plenty of time to cry. It is natural. Scrabble is watching over you now and his love goes on forever in your heart.

This child's book helped me a little,
(by Nancy Tillman)

• You are my angel, my darling,
  my star... and my love will find you,
  wherever you are.

 

I haven't been posting for a while even before the board issues, but I checked in today and was shocked to see your post.
Michelle, I am so sorry for your loss . . . big hugs.

 

Michelle, I am so sorry for your loss. My sugar cat is hanging in there, but I have another very sick kitty on a feeding tube, and he is day to day, so I can empathize with what you are going through. Remember that you gave Scrabble extra quality time that he wouldn't have had if you hadn't loved and cared for him so well. No matter how short it was, it was a good life and he'll always be with you. I'm typing through tears, too. God bless you and your DH.

 

This news makes me very sad. I'm so sorry Michelle. I remember just a week ago talking about Scrabble and Boots
being close in age, etc.

Ahh,,, sweet heart, I wish I could say something that would comfort you enough. There are no words, just time and knowing
you did your best for Scrabble. No matter how many times you replay it, the outcome can't change. The best thing you can
do is trust this was Scrabble's time. Trust Scrabble is in a better place and that someday he will look in your eyes again and
you in his and won't that be a glorious day. rb_icon
Sending you, Tony and Sabrina, love, prayers and (((((comfort)))))) :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

I'm so sorry you lost your boy. He will always be in your heart. You did a wonderful job with him and I'm glad you were with him for one final purr. Fly free, dear Scrabble. wings_cat

 

((((Michelle and Tony & Sabrina))))
I was in shock last night to read the news....I lit a candle and asked Rocket to look for Scrabble and make sure he could find his way to the bridge....

my heart is heavy for you and many tears have been shed....each loss brings me back to my own

so very sorry Scrabble is gone....

 

oh, NO!!!!!! Michelle - I don't even know what to say...I couldn't believe it when I saw the subject line. I haven't been able to get on the board since posting on the 11th, so I hadn't heard. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your pain. I know you have many sweet memories of your time with Scrabble and I hope they bring you comfort in the days and weeks ahead.

Prayers and hugs -

Libby (& Hershey, too!)

 

{{HUGS}}

 

More hugs from me and Zeus and Smokey, just wanted you to know we are thinking of you in this most difficult time. Thoughts and prayers are with you,
Kathie

 

((((((MICHELLE))))) My heart is so broken for you! You & Scrabble have been our friends for so long....I know what kind of mom bean you are & how much love & caring you gave to Scrabble, and he knew it too..
You were with him at the end with love & caring as it should be--I fear we are getting closer to that, so I felt so much emotion for you...You know you will be with Scrabble again, so think of all the wonderful years you had together and what a great Life you gave him..Sending you comfort & Love-and Hugs from us...

 

((((Michelle)))) I am so sorry for your sudden loss of Scrabble. I think its especially hard to not know why, but what you do know is that you loved Scrabble with all your heart and he knew that. He will always be in your heart. Sending peace and comfort to you and Tony.

Fly Free Scrabble wings_cat

 

(((((Michelle)))))

It is always harder the next day, especially when the loss is so sudden. I have been thinking of you, Tony, and Sabrina all day and I pray that your wonderful memories of Scrabble will help to ease your pain. Your beautiful boy will always be with you.

Love and many hugs,

Ella & Rusty (and Stu)

 

(((((((((((Michelle))))))))) Fly Free Scrabble rb_icon wings_cat

 

((((Michelle))))) ((((Tony)))))
I'm so sorry. I watched for your return after you went to the vet for the next update.
It's hard no matter how it happens, how fast, or how slow... It's just so hard to say so long to such a wonderful friend.
Prayers for you guys as you grieve and find peace.
At least the love never goes away. It's there with you always.
Fly free Scrabble. rb_icon

 

(((Michelle))) Crying with you because your pain is so palpable and I do feel every teardrop.....we all know what it's like to lose that special kitty with an unbreakable heart bond.

From ee cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear:
And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

 

I am so sorry to hear this.. Sorry for your loss...

(Hugs) to you and your DH..

 

Michelle, Tony, and Sabrina, my heart breaks with yours. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that all of your beautiful memories of Scrabble, and love you three have for each other, and the love from all of us at fdmb, will comfort you in your time of mourning. I lost my childhood kitty bff of 14 yrs to Kidney failure some years ago, and still ache at the loss. It is never easy to say goodbye, but they are always with us. Healing vines to you and yours.

 

(((((Michelle))))) I am stunned. My deepest sympathies on this tragic loss. May you always feel Scrabble's love. He always will feel yours. Fly free, most handsome Scrabble. wings_cat

 

(((((Michelle & Tony & Sabrina))))) I am so very sorry for your loss. We understand how much Scrabble meant to you all ....and we share your deep sorrow. It seems there were issues that he was hiding well and for what it's worth, you did give him the final gift of a loving Bean when you set him free.....
It is a sad day when the best thing you can give your baby is the very thing that will rip him from your lives....but he is at peace now Michelle. Hold your memories of him close and they will bring you comfort hopefully. Think of the good times and keep his memory close to your heart.....
Fly free Dear Scrabble...untill we meet again... wings_cat

 

Just wanted to stop by and thank you all again for your kind words and support during this difficult time. The past two days have been so hard. I feel like someone ripped my heart out and broke it in a million pieces. The sadness I feel is undescribable. I know you guys understand since I am sure many of you have lost a pet. Scrabble was my world and I am finding it hard to figure out how to move on. I haven't left the house and am barely eating. I am going to try and bring myself to get out today and try to enjoy somewhat of a Valentine's Day with my husband. Thanks for letting me vent. I wanted you all to know I will still be a presence on the board at some point I just find it difficult to post right now but I am periodically coming on and checking on all of Scrabble's friends.
My poor civvie Sabrina has been pretty lost. Yesterday I lit the candle the vet had given me for Scrabble. I told her it was for him. I left the room for a minute and when I came back in she was sitting on the coffee table looking at the candle. It was pretty amazing especially since she doesn't ever do that. She then let me pick her up, which she doesn't like and I cried and hugged her. I just wanted to share that. Take care everyone, hold your fur babies close and cherish every day you have with them.

 

Michelle, I just wanted to let you know I'm still sending prayers for you, Tony and Sabrina. It is hard to keep going on, but hopefully Sabrina and you can help each other get through this rough time. :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

 

Oh my goodness, a Veteran has earned his wings. I'm So very sorry to see this devastating news. It's going to be very hard but Scrabble knows you love him. To leave so suddenly...It's just so hard.

My heart goes out to you and I share the tears with everyone. I always loved his name. He WILL be remembered.
jeanne
For Scrabble...

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... d=17916448

 

Dearest Michelle
I've come into this thread so many times, and turned away in tears, too cowardly to 'face' you , and tell you how sorry I am, for your loss of precious Scrabble.
I send up so many prayers, for peace for you and Tony. I know your heart is broken, and the pain is physical.
I pray that the sweet memories of Scrabble will soon overtake the grief you are feeling right now.
Love and gentle hugs to you, Tony and little Sabrina, who doesn't understand where her friend is.
Your love and devotion will help her feel less lonely.
(((Michelle))), I wish I knew the right words to comfort you, the way you help and support us. I'm so so sorry.

Barb

 

Too many times we asked for reason but the reason is because of love. Both you & Scrabble loved each other so much that we believe this is the decision from Scrabble & you, & the best.
Take care Michelle. Scrabble is now free from physical burden & hardship. He is around you.

 

Fly Free Scrabble wings_cat Land Softly rb_icon rb_icon You will be missed.

 

Thinking about you today and wish I could ease your pain.
(((Michelle)))

 

I'm just seeing this today. I am so very very sorry for your loss. (((Michelle))) What a shock. I will be holding you and your family close in my heart. Fly free, sweet Scrabble.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss; I know how much it hurts to lose one of our babies. Lots of hugs.

 

((((Michelle))))) I had a hard time coming to this condo because so much of what you went through reminds me of Jazzy's last day, and also because it is so close to what almost happened to my Sammy (he is young and was able to survive his heart failure, but I definitely felt the fear you felt).

You're never ready to let them go, but it is even more shocking when it is so sudden.

Fly free, Scrabble. You were loved. wings_cat

 

I am so glad I saw your post on FB when I couldn't get through here. My hugs to you and Tony and Sabrina keep coming and coming. See you on Monday my dear. (((hugs)))

 

((( Michelle )))

I'm so sorry, Michelle. I'm glad he was only sick a very short time and didn't suffer through a long illness.
He knew only love. I hope he knows how many people have loved him over the years, I'm glad I was able
to get to know you both through this site and I'm so sorry he has gone ahead. You were a terrific mom to
him, nursing him throuhg his issues and keeping him strong and healthy for so long. He will be missed.

 

Michelle - I'm so sorry. I haven't been around much, as I usually post on the FB Acro site. I felt a real disconnect, and came over here, right as the board went down. Been trying to reconnect with a handful of people, then I saw your post.

I know how they are the center of our universes. I also know the grief we feel when they have gone. May you find peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead, and know that the hearts of all here are heavy as they read this sad sad news.

Peace and comfort to you and yours.

Lu-Ann