GA Sad-RIP Murray

[DebbieQ]

I haven’t been on this forum very long, but thanks to everyone for being supportive. Unfortunately my baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge. We were still trying to figure out the right dosage and thought his bad breath was from not being regulated yet, but unfortunately he had a huge mass in his mouth. On Tuesday when I got home from work I noticed Murray’s eye looked off and he just didn’t look right so immediately took him into the vets. His eye was swollen and that’s when we discovered he had a mass inside of his mouth which was causing the eye to swell. He took a biopsy and gave antibiotic and morphine for pain. Wanted to give him a steroid, but said it would’ve messed with the diabetes. The next day his eye looked worse and and noticed he was having a hard time eating By Thursday his eye looked like it was going to rupture and he was barely eating or drinking. When Ingot gone from work Thursday he did come out of hiding, cause I’m his person l, and climbed on my lap as I sat of the floor and then he did walk over and took a few bites of food. I was super stressed cause I wanted to spend more time with him, but had to rush to pick my son up from preschool early and then get Murray to the vet. So only really had about 10 minutes with him at home. The vet still didn’t have the biopsy results back, but said he’s pretty sure it’s cancer and that the only way to help him now would be to remove his eye, but that the mass would just continue to grow and it was growing fast so the only humane thing to do was to let him go. I’ve had lots of cats and have loved them all with all of my heart, but Murray was just extra special as he got me through so many difficult times. This was just so hard. As we were waiting for the bet there was a large dog in the lobby near our exam room that was super loud and was upsetting Murray. I was so upset by this and wanted to scream to take the dog out because I didn’t want my baby’s last moments to be scary. I just kept singing and talking to him. Once the vet came in and realized this he brought us to the way back and apologized. This was one of the hardest days of my life. I’m trying not to beat myself up not seeing the signs earlier. He was eating more messy and his breath smelled. But I never saw that he had a mass! How could I have missed that. He was always laying on top of my his face so close to mine and I was always scratching his skin and cheeks! Vet said it must’ve been really small and all of a sudden just got bigger and aggressive. I loved that boy more than anything! My heart is broken. I wonder if the injections from the insulin could’ve caused this? His sister passed away from VAS fibrosarcoma and her oncologist said not to vaccinate or give Murray injections cause it could be genetic and lead to cancer for him. So he hadn’t had any more vaccinations or injections of any kind since he was 5 up until the diabetes a few months ago. He would’ve been 12 in a month. I was so upset when he was diagnosed with diabetes, but then realized it wasn’t a death sentence and figured we would have at least another 5 years more with him. I feel so bad that it happened so fast and got worse so fast too just within a couple of days. I miss my boy terribly. This was so unfair and I wish I had had a little more time with him. RIP sweet boy.

 

[Diane Tyler's Mom GA]

Debbie I am so so sorry to hear about your precious boy Murray.
Nothing was your fault, sometimes things happen so quickly we just don't notice them. I'm sure he knew how much you loved him. I know exactly how you feel about Murray being special. I had to let Tyler's brother Perry go last Oct, .
I love Tyler like crazy but Perry was my heart kitty.
We had a very special bond.
Please don't beat yourself up about anything.
Fly high sweet Murray , you were truly loved. ♥♥ All of the kitties are waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge where you are all going to be happy and healthy again.
Be kind to yourself Debbie and take care ♥

 

[DebbieQ]

Thanks Diane! I needed to hear that. So sorry about your Perry.

 

[Diane Tyler's Mom GA]

Thanks Diane! I needed to hear that. So sorry about your Perry.

Thank you Debbie, They are never with us long enough, you just wish they would live to be 20 yrs old. Please take care ok ♥

 

[Judy & Fritz]

I haven’t been on this forum very long, but thanks to everyone for being supportive. Unfortunately my baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge. We were still trying to figure out the right dosage and thought his bad breath was from not being regulated yet, but unfortunately he had a huge mass in his mouth. On Tuesday when I got home from work I noticed Murray’s eye looked off and he just didn’t look right so immediately took him into the vets. His eye was swollen and that’s when we discovered he had a mass inside of his mouth which was causing the eye to swell. He took a biopsy and gave antibiotic and morphine for pain. Wanted to give him a steroid, but said it would’ve messed with the diabetes. The next day his eye looked worse and and noticed he was having a hard time eating By Thursday his eye looked like it was going to rupture and he was barely eating or drinking. When Ingot gone from work Thursday he did come out of hiding, cause I’m his person l, and climbed on my lap as I sat of the floor and then he did walk over and took a few bites of food. I was super stressed cause I wanted to spend more time with him, but had to rush to pick my son up from preschool early and then get Murray to the vet. So only really had about 10 minutes with him at home. The vet still didn’t have the biopsy results back, but said he’s pretty sure it’s cancer and that the only way to help him now would be to remove his eye, but that the mass would just continue to grow and it was growing fast so the only humane thing to do was to let him go. I’ve had lots of cats and have loved them all with all of my heart, but Murray was just extra special as he got me through so many difficult times. This was just so hard. As we were waiting for the bet there was a large dog in the lobby near our exam room that was super loud and was upsetting Murray. I was so upset by this and wanted to scream to take the dog out because I didn’t want my baby’s last moments to be scary. I just kept singing and talking to him. Once the vet came in and realized this he brought us to the way back and apologized. This was one of the hardest days of my life. I’m trying not to beat myself up not seeing the signs earlier. He was eating more messy and his breath smelled. But I never saw that he had a mass! How could I have missed that. He was always laying on top of my his face so close to mine and I was always scratching his skin and cheeks! Vet said it must’ve been really small and all of a sudden just got bigger and aggressive. I loved that boy more than anything! My heart is broken. I wonder if the injections from the insulin could’ve caused this? His sister passed away from VAS fibrosarcoma and her oncologist said not to vaccinate or give Murray injections cause it could be genetic and lead to cancer for him. So he hadn’t had any more vaccinations or injections of any kind since he was 5 up until the diabetes a few months ago. He would’ve been 12 in a month. I was so upset when he was diagnosed with diabetes, but then realized it wasn’t a death sentence and figured we would have at least another 5 years more with him. I feel so bad that it happened so fast and got worse so fast too just within a couple of days. I miss my boy terribly. This was so unfair and I wish I had had a little more time with him. RIP sweet boy.

Oh Debbie, I’m so sorry to read this about Murray. It’s obvious you adored him. They are never with us long enough, never. I agree it was so unfair. I wish you had had years more with your boy, he sounds amazing. What a brave baby, and I have no doubt he loved you completely and knew you loved him every bit as much. You were such an incredible mom to him when it mattered most. You stood strong when I know you felt anything but. You did the most loving thing you could do for him, the ultimate act of love. And by doing so, you freed Murray of any pain and took it all on yourself. God bless you for ending his suffering. I know little Murray is watching over you, and you will be together again. Praying for comfort and peace for you, Debbie. I know how it hurts. Hugs.

 

[JanetNJ]

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

This is not your fault. I too have missed many warning signs that often turned into nothing or an abscessed tooth. You and I aren't vets, we don't do oral exams.
You cared enough to come here with Murray to get the best care and when things didn't look right you acted immediately. That's all we can do.
Get some sleep this weekend and be kind to yourself, Murray would want that.

 

[Mikey’sDad]

I haven’t been on this forum very long, but thanks to everyone for being supportive. Unfortunately my baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge. We were still trying to figure out the right dosage and thought his bad breath was from not being regulated yet, but unfortunately he had a huge mass in his mouth. On Tuesday when I got home from work I noticed Murray’s eye looked off and he just didn’t look right so immediately took him into the vets. His eye was swollen and that’s when we discovered he had a mass inside of his mouth which was causing the eye to swell. He took a biopsy and gave antibiotic and morphine for pain. Wanted to give him a steroid, but said it would’ve messed with the diabetes. The next day his eye looked worse and and noticed he was having a hard time eating By Thursday his eye looked like it was going to rupture and he was barely eating or drinking. When Ingot gone from work Thursday he did come out of hiding, cause I’m his person l, and climbed on my lap as I sat of the floor and then he did walk over and took a few bites of food. I was super stressed cause I wanted to spend more time with him, but had to rush to pick my son up from preschool early and then get Murray to the vet. So only really had about 10 minutes with him at home. The vet still didn’t have the biopsy results back, but said he’s pretty sure it’s cancer and that the only way to help him now would be to remove his eye, but that the mass would just continue to grow and it was growing fast so the only humane thing to do was to let him go. I’ve had lots of cats and have loved them all with all of my heart, but Murray was just extra special as he got me through so many difficult times. This was just so hard. As we were waiting for the bet there was a large dog in the lobby near our exam room that was super loud and was upsetting Murray. I was so upset by this and wanted to scream to take the dog out because I didn’t want my baby’s last moments to be scary. I just kept singing and talking to him. Once the vet came in and realized this he brought us to the way back and apologized. This was one of the hardest days of my life. I’m trying not to beat myself up not seeing the signs earlier. He was eating more messy and his breath smelled. But I never saw that he had a mass! How could I have missed that. He was always laying on top of my his face so close to mine and I was always scratching his skin and cheeks! Vet said it must’ve been really small and all of a sudden just got bigger and aggressive. I loved that boy more than anything! My heart is broken. I wonder if the injections from the insulin could’ve caused this? His sister passed away from VAS fibrosarcoma and her oncologist said not to vaccinate or give Murray injections cause it could be genetic and lead to cancer for him. So he hadn’t had any more vaccinations or injections of any kind since he was 5 up until the diabetes a few months ago. He would’ve been 12 in a month. I was so upset when he was diagnosed with diabetes, but then realized it wasn’t a death sentence and figured we would have at least another 5 years more with him. I feel so bad that it happened so fast and got worse so fast too just within a couple of days. I miss my boy terribly. This was so unfair and I wish I had had a little more time with him. RIP sweet boy.

I haven’t been on this forum very long, but thanks to everyone for being supportive. Unfortunately my baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge. We were still trying to figure out the right dosage and thought his bad breath was from not being regulated yet, but unfortunately he had a huge mass in his mouth. On Tuesday when I got home from work I noticed Murray’s eye looked off and he just didn’t look right so immediately took him into the vets. His eye was swollen and that’s when we discovered he had a mass inside of his mouth which was causing the eye to swell. He took a biopsy and gave antibiotic and morphine for pain. Wanted to give him a steroid, but said it would’ve messed with the diabetes. The next day his eye looked worse and and noticed he was having a hard time eating By Thursday his eye looked like it was going to rupture and he was barely eating or drinking. When Ingot gone from work Thursday he did come out of hiding, cause I’m his person l, and climbed on my lap as I sat of the floor and then he did walk over and took a few bites of food. I was super stressed cause I wanted to spend more time with him, but had to rush to pick my son up from preschool early and then get Murray to the vet. So only really had about 10 minutes with him at home. The vet still didn’t have the biopsy results back, but said he’s pretty sure it’s cancer and that the only way to help him now would be to remove his eye, but that the mass would just continue to grow and it was growing fast so the only humane thing to do was to let him go. I’ve had lots of cats and have loved them all with all of my heart, but Murray was just extra special as he got me through so many difficult times. This was just so hard. As we were waiting for the bet there was a large dog in the lobby near our exam room that was super loud and was upsetting Murray. I was so upset by this and wanted to scream to take the dog out because I didn’t want my baby’s last moments to be scary. I just kept singing and talking to him. Once the vet came in and realized this he brought us to the way back and apologized. This was one of the hardest days of my life. I’m trying not to beat myself up not seeing the signs earlier. He was eating more messy and his breath smelled. But I never saw that he had a mass! How could I have missed that. He was always laying on top of my his face so close to mine and I was always scratching his skin and cheeks! Vet said it must’ve been really small and all of a sudden just got bigger and aggressive. I loved that boy more than anything! My heart is broken. I wonder if the injections from the insulin could’ve caused this? His sister passed away from VAS fibrosarcoma and her oncologist said not to vaccinate or give Murray injections cause it could be genetic and lead to cancer for him. So he hadn’t had any more vaccinations or injections of any kind since he was 5 up until the diabetes a few months ago. He would’ve been 12 in a month. I was so upset when he was diagnosed with diabetes, but then realized it wasn’t a death sentence and figured we would have at least another 5 years more with him. I feel so bad that it happened so fast and got worse so fast too just within a couple of days. I miss my boy terribly. This was so unfair and I wish I had had a little more time with him. RIP sweet boy.

I am so sorry to hear that your boy passed. He probably had a squamous cell carcinoma. I lost my cat last year to that. It seemed to come slowly and his breath was the first sign, but eventually I had to let him go. You did the right thing, but I know it hurts!

 

[Ann & Sister]

You took on the pain of losing Murray so that his could end. It was an unselfish gift.
Hugs to you both,

 

[Bron and Sheba (GA)]

I’m sure it had nothing to do with giving him insulin.
I missed my girl’s pancreatic cancer until 5 days before she died and I watched her very closely. They are just so good at hiding things. Don’t blame yourself.
You gave him the greatest gift of all.
Fly free Murray.

 

[Mocha's_mom]

So sorry to hear about your loss. You sound like a wonderful mother and did everything you could do. We all say "shoulda woulda coulda" sometimes. But cats are VERY good at hiding their pain and love us unconditionally. They fight until the end because they want to be with us, even when they are struggling. You did the right thing. I had to do the same thing for one of my babies who was suffering. One of the hardest days of my life. Luckily we had a place called Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice that came to the house to do it. It would have been unfair to keep her alive for my sake.
RIP Murray

 

[DebbieQ]

Oh Debbie, I’m so sorry to read this about Murray. It’s obvious you adored him. They are never with us long enough, never. I agree it was so unfair. I wish you had had years more with your boy, he sounds amazing. What a brave baby, and I have no doubt he loved you completely and knew you loved him every bit as much. You were such an incredible mom to him when it mattered most. You stood strong when I know you felt anything but. You did the most loving thing you could do for him, the ultimate act of love. And by doing so, you freed Murray of any pain and took it all on yourself. God bless you for ending his suffering. I know little Murray is watching over you, and you will be together again. Praying for comfort and peace for you, Debbie. I know how it hurts. Hugs.

 

[DebbieQ]

Thank so so much Judy

 

[DebbieQ]

I am so sorry to hear that your boy passed. He probably had a squamous cell carcinoma. I lost my cat last year to that. It seemed to come slowly and his breath was the first sign, but eventually I had to let him go. You did the right thing, but I know it hurts!

Thanks Thomas. I’m so sorry you lost you cat to this as well.

 

[DebbieQ]

Th

So sorry to hear about your loss. You sound like a wonderful mother and did everything you could do. We all say "shoulda woulda coulda" sometimes. But cats are VERY good at hiding their pain and love us unconditionally. They fight until the end because they want to be with us, even when they are struggling. You did the right thing. I had to do the same thing for one of my babies who was suffering. One of the hardest days of my life. Luckily we had a place called Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice that came to the house to do it. It would have been unfair to keep her alive for my sake.
RIP Murray

Thank you! I’m sorry about your loss as well. I’m trying not to shoulda woulda coulda right now. I was so upset that they room the put us in was right near the lobby with a very loud did which was upsetting. When the bet eventually came in he realized and apologized and took us to the way back. I should spoke up but though tI was going to yell at those people so just tried to sing and talk to my baby to try to distract him. I really wish I had found someone to do it at home and I’m trying not to best myself up over that. I almost left cause I was too upset over that, but knew my baby needed help right away. Trying not to dwell on it. Got to spend a little more time with my boy in the back alone so at least there was that. I felt so rushed after teaching to get my baby. I wanted to spend more time with him at home one on one, but only got about 10 minutes cause had to rush to pick up my son from his first day of preschool early so we could get to the vets on time. I had a friend meet us at the vets to take my son, but it was just a stressful situation and was hard trying to keep calm and together for the sake of Murray and my son. It was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. What an extra special boy he was. He must’ve hid it for quite a while and I couldn’t believe how fast and how
Bad he got within just a couple of days and that was with taking antibiotics and morphine. I so wanted some
More time with him, but knows that would be selfish and had to do right by him as hard as it was. I’m very lucky we had such an extra special bond.

 

[DebbieQ]

Oh Debbie, I’m so sorry to read this about Murray. It’s obvious you adored him. They are never with us long enough, never. I agree it was so unfair. I wish you had had years more with your boy, he sounds amazing. What a brave baby, and I have no doubt he loved you completely and knew you loved him every bit as much. You were such an incredible mom to him when it mattered most. You stood strong when I know you felt anything but. You did the most loving thing you could do for him, the ultimate act of love. And by doing so, you freed Murray of any pain and took it all on yourself. God bless you for ending his suffering. I know little Murray is watching over you, and you will be together again. Praying for comfort and peace for you, Debbie. I know how it hurts. Hugs.

Thank you Judy! Really appreciate it. Trying hard not to dwell on the what if’s and wish I hads etc and trying to focus on the positive memories.

 

[DebbieQ]

I’m sure it had nothing to do with giving him insulin.
I missed my girl’s pancreatic cancer until 5 days before she died and I watched her very closely. They are just so good at hiding things. Don’t blame yourself.
You gave him the greatest gift of all.
Fly free Murray.

Thanks! Sorry about your girl!

 

[DebbieQ]

T

You took on the pain of losing Murray so that his could end. It was an unselfish gift.
Hugs to you both,

Thank you

 

[DebbieQ]

This is not your fault. I too have missed many warning signs that often turned into nothing or an abscessed tooth. You and I aren't vets, we don't do oral exams.
You cared enough to come here with Murray to get the best care and when things didn't look right you acted immediately. That's all we can do.
Get some sleep this weekend and be kind to yourself, Murray would want that.

Thanks! My husband took my toddler out so I could have some time to rest etc. I’m so depleted so trying to give myself a little tlc which I don’t ever get.

 

[DebbieQ]

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Thank you

 

[Judy & Fritz]

Th

Thank you! I’m sorry about your loss as well. I’m trying not to shoulda woulda coulda right now. I was so upset that they room the put us in was right near the lobby with a very loud did which was upsetting. When the bet eventually came in he realized and apologized and took us to the way back. I should spoke up but though tI was going to yell at those people so just tried to sing and talk to my baby to try to distract him. I really wish I had found someone to do it at home and I’m trying not to best myself up over that. I almost left cause I was too upset over that, but knew my baby needed help right away. Trying not to dwell on it. Got to spend a little more time with my boy in the back alone so at least there was that. I felt so rushed after teaching to get my baby. I wanted to spend more time with him at home one on one, but only got about 10 minutes cause had to rush to pick up my son from his first day of preschool early so we could get to the vets on time. I had a friend meet us at the vets to take my son, but it was just a stressful situation and was hard trying to keep calm and together for the sake of Murray and my son. It was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. What an extra special boy he was. He must’ve hid it for quite a while and I couldn’t believe how fast and how
Bad he got within just a couple of days and that was with taking antibiotics and morphine. I so wanted some
More time with him, but knows that would be selfish and had to do right by him as hard as it was. I’m very lucky we had such an extra special bond.

Debbie, I think you should hear my story about keeping a kitty alive hoping against hope for a miracle. Tiggie was 18, although you would never guess his age. He NEVER showed pain. Since he was so elderly, I took him for wellness checks every three months. He was a huge, proud, magnificent orange Maine Coon, who weighed 24 pounds and ruled our household.. He hated being picked up and I respected that. He would walk into his big carrier, good as gold. When he got to the vet’s, all hell would break loose every single time, and they dreaded his visits as much as I did. At this August wellness check, it was found that he had a tooth that was being resorbed. The tooth had caused an infection in his left kidney. Went home with strong antibiotics, they worked, the infection was gone and he was scheduled for dental surgery.

He came through the surgery just fine, I was so relieved. On the way home, he had a stroke. I saw it happening, almost ran off the road. Got home, called the vet and went from there. For two straight months, every waking moment was devoted to Tiggie. I kept him by my side, fed him any food he would eat, baby food with vitamins, etc., never had to syringe feed him, he would lap up his food, which gave me hope. I gave him his pain meds, sang to him, loved on him, prayed over him, you name it, I did it. All to no avail. The end came in October, he had turned 19. He suddenly had diarrhea. I took him to his litter box and he was too weak to stand, I had to hold him up. Went to bed, sitting up, holding him in my arms, telling him it was okay, he could stop fighting and let go. With a small sigh, from one breath to the next, my darling boy flew free. It was so peaceful. My 24 pound, majestic, dignified alpha Maine Coon weighed 6 pounds when he died.

There is always guilt, always. Mine was because I should have let him go when he had the stroke. He was my first cat, a part of my heart, and I honestly had no idea what I was doing, I thought he could bounce back. If I had it to do over again, I would NEVER keep him with me too long. Better one day too early than even one moment too late. I would let him go with dignity, as he so deserved, rather than spend months watching the life seep from his body. Although medicated to the eyeballs, that was not enough. He is buried beneath a cross in my backyard beside his sister, who would die one year later of a diabetic hypo event, the most awful thing I have ever experienced with a pet. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t apologize to them both in my heart, for not knowing more, for not being a better mom. They taught me so much and my current babies all benefit. You stepped up and did something I was unwilling/too ignorant to do. I can only wish that I had, and I will never allow another fur child to cling to life for my sake. You did the absolute right thing for Murray, never doubt it. Yes, it hurts so much it’s almost unbearable, but Murray was still Murray when you set him free, not a shadow of his former self. So proud of you, Debbie. I hope this helps.

 

[DebbieQ]

Debbie, I think you should hear my story about keeping a kitty alive hoping against hope for a miracle. Tiggie was 18, although you would never guess his age. He NEVER showed pain. Since he was so elderly, I took him for wellness checks every three months. He was a huge, proud, magnificent orange Maine Coon, who weighed 24 pounds and ruled our household.. He hated being picked up and I respected that. He would walk into his big carrier, good as gold. When he got to the vet’s, all hell would break loose every single time, and they dreaded his visits as much as I did. At this August wellness check, it was found that he had a tooth that was being resorbed. The tooth had caused an infection in his left kidney. Went home with strong antibiotics, they worked, the infection was gone and he was scheduled for dental surgery.

He came through the surgery just fine, I was so relieved. On the way home, he had a stroke. I saw it happening, almost ran off the road. Got home, called the vet and went from there. For two straight months, every waking moment was devoted to Tiggie. I kept him by my side, fed him any food he would eat, baby food with vitamins, etc., never had to syringe feed him, he would lap up his food, which gave me hope. I gave him his pain meds, sang to him, loved on him, prayed over him, you name it, I did it. All to no avail. The end came in October, he had turned 19. He suddenly had diarrhea. I took him to his litter box and he was too weak to stand, I had to hold him up. Went to bed, sitting up, holding him in my arms, telling him it was okay, he could stop fighting and let go. With a small sigh, from one breath to the next, my darling boy flew free. It was so peaceful. My 24 pound, majestic, dignified alpha Maine Coon weighed 6 pounds when he died.

There is always guilt, always. Mine was because I should have let him go when he had the stroke. He was my first cat, a part of my heart, and I honestly had no idea what I was doing, I thought he could bounce back. If I had it to do over again, I would NEVER keep him with me too long. Better one day too early than even one moment too late. I would let him go with dignity, as he so deserved, rather than spend months watching the life seep from his body. Although medicated to the eyeballs, that was not enough. He is buried beneath a cross in my backyard beside his sister, who would die one year later of a diabetic hypo event, the most awful thing I have ever experienced with a pet. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t apologize to them both in my heart, for not knowing more, for not being a better mom. They taught me so much and my current babies all benefit. You stepped up and did something I was unwilling/too ignorant to do. I can only wish that I had, and I will never allow another fur child to cling to life for my sake. You did the absolute right thing for Murray, never doubt it. Yes, it hurts so much it’s almost unbearable, but Murray was still Murray when you set him free, not a shadow of his former self. So proud of you, Debbie. I hope this helps.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! I’m so sorry you and your baby had to go through all that. I do feel guilt that what if I let him go too early since we didn’t even wait for the biopsy results, but the bet said after looking at him just 2 days after that it was the right thing to do. I just wish I could’ve had it done in my home where it would’ve been less stressful and more peaceful. But like you said, we learn and do better for our next furbabies. I went from 4 cats in the past 5 years and now down to zero. I too had a 22lb Orange Main Coon! He was buddies with Murray and past away about a year ago. He too hid his symptoms really well and all of a sudden he couldn’t walk straight and was falling over. So sorry about you diabetic cat too. That must’ve been scary. Thanks again for sharing your story. It really did help me feel a little better. You are right that, as hard as it was, it was the right thing to do. I just wished I had been able to spend even a little more time with him as this week was so busy and rushed. But I was his person and I knew I had to be the one to be there with him and didn’t want him to be in any more pain. I’m trying not to beat myself up that I didn’t see the signs earlier. Like you said, cats are good at hiding their symptoms and I acted immediately as soon as I knew something was off. It is unbearable at times as I just keep replaying that last day in my head and I just need to focus on the fact that he’s no longer in pain and that I was there with him to the end and be grateful for the time I did get with him. Thanks again

 

[Kilikina]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. RIP, sweet Murray; fly free.

 

[Judy & Fritz]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! I’m so sorry you and your baby had to go through all that. I do feel guilt that what if I let him go too early since we didn’t even wait for the biopsy results, but the bet said after looking at him just 2 days after that it was the right thing to do. I just wish I could’ve had it done in my home where it would’ve been less stressful and more peaceful. But like you said, we learn and do better for our next furbabies. I went from 4 cats in the past 5 years and now down to zero. I too had a 22lb Orange Main Coon! He was buddies with Murray and past away about a year ago. He too hid his symptoms really well and all of a sudden he couldn’t walk straight and was falling over. So sorry about you diabetic cat too. That must’ve been scary. Thanks again for sharing your story. It really did help me feel a little better. You are right that, as hard as it was, it was the right thing to do. I just wished I had been able to spend even a little more time with him as this week was so busy and rushed. But I was his person and I knew I had to be the one to be there with him and didn’t want him to be in any more pain. I’m trying not to beat myself up that I didn’t see the signs earlier. Like you said, cats are good at hiding their symptoms and I acted immediately as soon as I knew something was off. It is unbearable at times as I just keep replaying that last day in my head and I just need to focus on the fact that he’s no longer in pain and that I was there with him to the end and be grateful for the time I did get with him. Thanks again

I think the most important question we can ask ourselves is “Knowing how it would end, would I do it all over again?” And the answer has to be an unequivocal YES. I would take those years of unconditional love, knowing full well the cost. Anytime we love a pet, that is the sad reality, that we will probably outlive them. Your wonderful years with Murray will, in time, be what you remember 99% of the time, not those final days. And you, who have gone through so much, have a huge heart full of love. I hope you adopt more babies you can lavish your love on when you’re ready. Doing so helped me more than I could have imagined. No one can take another’s place, cats are such unique individuals, that isn’t possible. But each can touch your heart in his/her own very special way. I ended up adopting kitties no one else wanted - one from a meth house raid (people were afraid of the vets bills, with good reason), one who was a year old and had lived her entire young life in the shelter, another was a semi-feral Maine Coon whose owner had developed Alzheimer’s, another found in the middle of a huge National Forest where he had undoubtedly been dumped. I have only one I adopted as a kitten, and now he is diabetic! So the saga continues…..and I would still do it all over again.

 

[DebbieQ]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. RIP, sweet Murray; fly free.

Thank you

 

[BellaBlue82]

I haven’t been on this forum very long, but thanks to everyone for being supportive. Unfortunately my baby has crossed over the rainbow bridge. We were still trying to figure out the right dosage and thought his bad breath was from not being regulated yet, but unfortunately he had a huge mass in his mouth. On Tuesday when I got home from work I noticed Murray’s eye looked off and he just didn’t look right so immediately took him into the vets. His eye was swollen and that’s when we discovered he had a mass inside of his mouth which was causing the eye to swell. He took a biopsy and gave antibiotic and morphine for pain. Wanted to give him a steroid, but said it would’ve messed with the diabetes. The next day his eye looked worse and and noticed he was having a hard time eating By Thursday his eye looked like it was going to rupture and he was barely eating or drinking. When Ingot gone from work Thursday he did come out of hiding, cause I’m his person l, and climbed on my lap as I sat of the floor and then he did walk over and took a few bites of food. I was super stressed cause I wanted to spend more time with him, but had to rush to pick my son up from preschool early and then get Murray to the vet. So only really had about 10 minutes with him at home. The vet still didn’t have the biopsy results back, but said he’s pretty sure it’s cancer and that the only way to help him now would be to remove his eye, but that the mass would just continue to grow and it was growing fast so the only humane thing to do was to let him go. I’ve had lots of cats and have loved them all with all of my heart, but Murray was just extra special as he got me through so many difficult times. This was just so hard. As we were waiting for the bet there was a large dog in the lobby near our exam room that was super loud and was upsetting Murray. I was so upset by this and wanted to scream to take the dog out because I didn’t want my baby’s last moments to be scary. I just kept singing and talking to him. Once the vet came in and realized this he brought us to the way back and apologized. This was one of the hardest days of my life. I’m trying not to beat myself up not seeing the signs earlier. He was eating more messy and his breath smelled. But I never saw that he had a mass! How could I have missed that. He was always laying on top of my his face so close to mine and I was always scratching his skin and cheeks! Vet said it must’ve been really small and all of a sudden just got bigger and aggressive. I loved that boy more than anything! My heart is broken. I wonder if the injections from the insulin could’ve caused this? His sister passed away from VAS fibrosarcoma and her oncologist said not to vaccinate or give Murray injections cause it could be genetic and lead to cancer for him. So he hadn’t had any more vaccinations or injections of any kind since he was 5 up until the diabetes a few months ago. He would’ve been 12 in a month. I was so upset when he was diagnosed with diabetes, but then realized it wasn’t a death sentence and figured we would have at least another 5 years more with him. I feel so bad that it happened so fast and got worse so fast too just within a couple of days. I miss my boy terribly. This was so unfair and I wish I had had a little more time with him. RIP sweet boy.

Aw Debbie, I'm so very sorry for your loss of sweet Murray. I agree with others, cats hide things extremely well from us and none of this is on you.

After my husband and I first got married and moved into our new house, he surprised me with the most beautiful orange tabby. He was like a little gangster, stealing shoelaces etc so we named him Sonny lol. I've never grown so attached to an animal in my life. Head butt loving all the time, crazy escapades, Sonny was always in charge of the house.

Back in 2017, we lost him tragically. Sonny always had a great appetite, hated to throw up (hairballs usually came out the other end lol) and stamina to share. The day of my mom's birthday I came home to find he threw up multiple times and was hiding. We ran to the vets, who said he probably just has an infection. Got medicine and took him home, but he was still hiding a lot and refused to eat anything at all.
I won't share what happened the next day as I still cannot get it out of my head all these years, but we ended up taking him to a specialist hospital for an ultrasound after another incident and they found a tumor in his stomach blocking everything. There was a 10-20% chance of survival after surgery.
We knew our sweet Sonny deserved more from us, and to pass on in peace. We stayed with him the rest of those few moments... And I know he was grateful for all the happiness we shared with him.

Hugs to you during this difficult time... It's never easy for us I know. But let your heart be lighter knowing how much he loved you.