Partner is non-supportive

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Mashyspringle

Member Since 2014
Hi, I'm new to this board. I've gained a good deal of information so far and purchased all the equipment to home test. But my husband, whom I need to hold the cat, keeps up a constant barrage of negative comments all the time I am struggling to get a good blood drop, then eventually lets her go because I am just to slow or inept. I can see that my only option is to test her by myself. But she is squirmy! Would you suggest wrapping her in a blanket or getting a new husband?
 
What might help is some positive reinforcement training.

Pick up some plain protein treats, such as freeze dried poultry or meat (ex Pure Bites), or cooked plain meat or chicken.
Use a bathroom or half bath.
Say "Test time" and take your cat to the bathroom.
Sit and put your cat on your lap.
Wrap one arm around the cat and hug him to your chest.
Massage the ears, give a treat, and release.
Repeat several times a day.

This associates something positive with the routine and words.

After at least a few times, actually test.
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: I can't speak to the new husband. Only you can decide that.

However, I agree with BJ. Those are good tips.

When we started, we had to wrap Cobb in a towel and I couldn't do it by myself (I was 7 months pregnant when he was diagnosed). It took me and my husband on the floor with Cobb to get any kind of actual test done. It was stressful.

With practice, you'll be able to get a test by yourself when you're half asleep.

Are you using a lancing device or a free handed lancet? Some cats don't like the click of the device and you can't see where you're poking as well.
 
I seriously thought about getting a new husband when we first started home testing. ;-)

We struggled tremendously when we first started trying to test. We couldn't get enough blood, the cat got squirmy, the husband and I yelled at each other, I was in tears.... We tried it both ways - he held the cat and I poked; I held the cat and he poked. It was extremely frustrating. He told me we didn't need to test, or we didn't need to test as much as I wanted to test. Many times, I thought about simply poking him in the eye with the lancet. ohmygod_smile

After one particularly trying - and failed - test, he went outside to feed our dogs. I grabbed the cat, warmed her paw, and got a test all by myself. Paw testing isn't the preferred method here, but it's what ended up working for us. Over time, it became easier and easier. I now have no problem testing by myself, and my husband can test by himself, too. He wasn't always supportive of when I wanted to test, but I told him that I needed him to be supportive of me.

I'm sure you've read through some of the testing tips here, and BJ gave you some great advice. Just a couple of items that really helped us - warm the ear first. That will help increase blood flow to the area. We filled a sock with some rice, warmed it in the microwave for about 15-20 seconds and put it on Jersey's paw first. It made a huge difference. We also used Neosporin ointment. We put a little dab on her paw before we poked. That helped the blood bead up so we could get a good sample. We would put a little dab on after the poke, too, to help with healing.

We didn't wrap Jersey in a towel because we were doing paw testing, but I've heard a lot of other people say they've used towels during testing.

Keep trying. We know it's frustrating in the beginning, but it does get easier!
Shelly
 
LOL! My husband isn't exactly cooperative either. He doesn't like the idea of poking the cat and thinks it should be my job. To further complicate matters, he is color blind and we have a black cat, so he can't see the drop of blood. So we have settled for him comforting her while i do the rest.

It seems like the key is to finding a good routine and including some positive reinforcement for the cat. Each person finds what works for them, and I got a lot of ideas from other people here. We always test our cat on the same spot on the kitchen counter. She's not normally allowed up there (and is good about following that rule), so she knows that if she's up there, she's getting her ears tested. That way, she doesn't worry about us poking her any other time. We make her lie down first, which helps quite a bit with the squirming. Since this counter is open on both sides, I stand behind her on one side and my husband stands in front of her, which discourages her from jumping off on the other side. He basically strokes her jaw, so she's usually purring. I have everything within reach, so I warm the ear with a rice-filled sock. I put a cotton ball on one side of her ear, poke the other side with the lancing device, then grab the glucometer and test. As soon as we're done, I put pressure on the spot where we poked her for about 20 seconds, then she gets a tiny bit of Neosporin on the spot. Then we let her go and give her a treat of freeze dried chicken. Tisha started off being super squirmy and fought us, but now she turns around and looks for her treat. It gets easier, and I can do it by myself. It is easier if I can get my husband or one of the kids to help comfort her, but as long as I make her lie down to start, she does pretty well.

Another tip: grabbing the cat by the scruff triggers a reflex to freeze. You can use that to your advantage if she's really squirmy.

Good luck!
 
First, WELCOME to the best place you never wanted to be!

Hubby is a major needlephobic and 'blood' phobic so he doesn't test or shoot...heck HE, not the cat, runs when he sees the lancet or syringe. When KT (GA) was diagnosed, I started out with him on top of a little 3' bookcase holding him with my hip against the wall, one arm down his back. That worked wonderfully and was our 'testing/shooting' place for a long time. We adopted Doc already diabetic and used to testing altho' we had to find our dance steps. After many months, I would plug in the meter and they would either come to me or I go wherever they were and test. Now that KT's crossed, Dakota and I rarely use the 'test spot', I just go to him, show him meter or syringe, he lays down in 'our' position. You'll figure out how to dance together without stepping on each other's toes shortly!

HUGS! And welcome!
 
Thanks to all of you for your advice and support. My husband has promised to be more accommodating--turns out it was the cat claws in the stomach making him impatient. The whole thing is stressful for all three of us, but we will continue to work on it, knowing our experience is not unique and that you have all been through it. I think the idea of a special spot for testing will work well for us, since we don't want her looking over her shoulder whenever we are in the room. Once we learn "the dance" I will report back to you. Thanks again for your thoughtful and helpful replies!
 
haha_smiley I understand your pain! My hubby has never been on board from day one and its been almost 3 years! I've come to accept the fact that he will never be on board and I do everything myself. My kitty was a feral when she found me and when she was first diagnosed I thought that there was no way that I was ever going to be able to shoot her much less get a drop of blood out of her ear! Well, to make a long story short, its actually made us much closer and now she trust me more than ever! It took a lot of time and a lot of help from members of this board but now I'm a pro at getting blood and its not a big deal to test and shoot my Chicken Little anymore. It's been about 15 years since we first met each other and to this day I've never had her sit on my lap but at least she will let me touch her and not to long ago she started sitting on the sofa with me. I've even woke up to a kitty staring at me a time or two!!
It may take a while but don't give up - it will happen! Love can concur anything and as a last resort you can still trade in the hubby!! haha_smiley
 
My DH has never helped.... but I have gotten him to hold her down. But he has to put on big gloves ( think oven mitts :lol: )....he doesn't want to risk a bite or scratch because
of his work. I take what I can get.
He's never helped with any of the rest.
 
My brother was living with me while he went to school when Mikey was first diagnosed. He was the BIGGEST pain in the @$$ when it came to Mikey's treatment and support. He would reduce me to tears more often than not. I finally had enough of it and made Mikey's diabetes a completely off-limit topic and things immediately got better for all of us. The silver lining was at least he made me think about various treatment options and research everything more in depth than I probably initially would have. :lol:

I wrote up this document about ear testing psychology that might give you a few more ideas for testing.
 
I went through kind of fast reading all the comments, so I am not sure if this was brought up....


But I am a firm believer that our pets sense our emotions and react to that. If you are stressed during testing time, so will your kitty. I have learned there are times when I have to let Skooter run away....take a few deep breaths, calm myself down and then go back to get him. Using a soothing and calming voice when I do, giving him snuggles and kisses while we go to our testing spot and do the test....it normally goes better with that go around....

You will find what works for you and pretty soon you and your DH will be laughing about the times when you had trouble testing as a distant memory :)
 
I really like the "ear testing psychology". You've done some pretty incredible research! My husband has begun to get involved--we have both settled down a bit. But for those of you who are going it alone, I'm very inspired. And strangely, it does seem to create an interesting bond. My cat seems to have become more trusting as opposed to alienated. Who knew??

I wrap her up in a very soft blanket and bring her to the "testing spot". My husband uses his lancet (he is diabetic) to draw a drop of blood from her ear. Then I get the reading on the meter. But I can see that she will eventually settle in and let me do it by myself if he is busy elsewhere. The next step is the home curve, but we will work up to that.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. We are all in it together, aren't we??
 
I'm so happy to hear that things are getting better!! One thing more I could say is that I purchased a book from Amazon for $6 called "SugarBabies" It was a great read and very helpful. I thought I knew everything there was to know about diabetic cats since I've had one for almost 3 years but I was shocked to find much more info that was really helpful to me!! I would recommend this book to anyone who has a feline that is diabetic!!
 
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