Kathy, you really are doing amazingly. I mean, look at what you are doing and how much knowledge you have gained compared to just a week ago: you are TESTING YOUR KITTY'S BLOOD SUGAR! As others have said, that is HUGE. And you are doing it at the best possible time, BEFORE Bert starts on insulin. This way, not only will you be confident enough to do it well (or at least well on your way there) by the time it's necessary (when Bert starts insulin), but you will know the numbers and be able to be proactive in preventing hypoglycemia. And if he DOES happen to start to go too low, you will know about it and be able to bring his numbers back up because you are testing.
I absolutely, positively know the feeling of being afraid to go to sleep, as do many folks on here. The first 2 months of Buzz's dx, I was a wreck. I would stay up until 5 or 6 a.m., testing obsessively and watching her. She had ketones as well, and I was so worried about DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) that I would constantly poke and prod her throughout the day and night to make sure she was still alive. Although it has been almost 6 months since Buzz's dx, I can still feel the crushing fear that was those first months, and I can really empathize with you. The only thing you can do is breathe, take care of yourself (a mama with no sleep is no good to Bert, after all), and arm yourself with enough knowledge to make yourself as comfortable as possible.
One thing to keep in mind, too: don't let the diagnosis and treatment overwhelm your relationship with Bert. It so quickly becomes about BG testing and injections and litterbox stalking and vet visits and research, and that's ok because that is what needs to happen in the first bit. But don't forget that Bert is still your furry baby and he needs his special time with you like he's always had. Try to spend some time each day doing things with him that DON'T involve poking, prodding, crying, or worrying. Play with a toy with him. Sit in a sunny spot on the floor with him with no other agenda besides loving on him. It will do BOTH of you tremendous good.
Most of all, don't lose sight of the fact that you are helping Bert to live his best life. You may feel that you haven't done everything right, but none of us have. The important thing is not what you have or haven't done in the past, but what you choose to do now and how you arm yourself for battle. So far you are off to a WONDERFUL start. Please don't beat yourself up over your choices or Bert's health. You are making good decisions now, decisions that will get Bert on the path to healing.
Give yourself a giant pat on the back, and please ask any and all questions you have.
