Welcome! There's a lot of advice and support for you here.

Unfortunately, if you want your kitty to be healthier you're going to have to reconsider insulin. Most cats need it unless/until they're among those that eventually go into remission. That doesn't happen to all of them, though.
My cat hated the shots and it was a very stressful ordeal
There are ways to desensitize your kitty and teach yourself to be calmer doing this. They can pick up on our anxiety and it can have a big effect on how smoothly things go. People here can help with that.
She became hypoglycemic one night and was rushed to the vet ER
You need to dose carefully and monitor the effect of the dose to avoid these emergencies. The essential tool in keeping your kitty safe is to test blood glucose at home. I'm sure you won't like thinking about this but it, too, can be learned with help from here. So much of this depends on you deciding to have a positive mind set. There are many people who came here
terrified and absolutely certain they wouldn't be able to give shots or test blood glucose and found that, indeed they could, given enough practice.
I'm very fearful of insulin therapy because of the reaction she had the first time around
I guarantee we can help you avoid this if you're willing to learn about the insulin prescribed for your kitty and take on the challenge of testing at home.
I know she won't thrive if we continue on out current path.
Yes, this is true unfortunately.
Has anyone out there experienced this and if so did you find a solution?
Yes, there are people who came here only after an ER emergency and decided to do things differently.