Need to rant....

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Sheila & Beau GA & Jeddie GA

Sheila & Beau GA & Jeddie GA

Member Since 2009
So, my mother is staying with me for the holidays. I find it hard to believe she is my mother sometimes, especially when it comes to the care of animals. She acts like they are for her convenience and when they are no longer convenient, she see them as expendable. I just don't get it. Case in point:

I was spraying Simple Solution on a spot that Cami peed on tonight and she asked who had done it. When I said "Cami", she said "Maybe she just isn't savable". This is hours after she was telling someone at dinner about how well Cami is adjusting since she saw her in MI in Oct.

I just don't get that attitude and I really don't get it from my mother. I mean, I learned about living with animals from her. She has always had at least one cat since she was about 20.

I wish I could remember eaxctly what I said next to her because it caused her to go sulk in her room and close the door. It was something about her "doing away with them as soon as they are no longer convenient". Which, trust me, she has done on more than one occasion I am sorry to say. It is what she "advised" me to do with Beau when he was diagnosed with FD and it is what she is trying to tell my aunt to do with her cat because he has IBD. I was thinking to myself, "People like you are exactly why people like me adopt unwanted cats).

This is all after a stressful 3 days, and my mother yelling at and pushing Cami off her bed the first night she was here because Cami started to growl at Ariel. Right after that Cami threw up. And the next day Cami started peeing on my rug. She isn't acting afraid of my mother, but I wonder if it was too much like her old home and being yelled at and rejected by them so now she has back-slid on her comfort level here. Sigh....
 
Sheila

I have watched your posts regarding Cami. You have tried so hard to try and get her to come around within the household. What a shame this has happened. It does sound like it may have been what her previous household may have been like, people screaming at her and maybe hitting her.
It sounds like your mother`s visit perhaps did upset her, cats can feel when they are not wanted. Hopefully when your mother goes home things will return to normal. Poor Cami, I feel so sorry for her.

Terri
 
I do, have, felt sorry for her, but I am trying to move her forward now. At the time (3 nights ago) I thought mom was over-reacting (as usual) but that Cami would bounce back from it. Now I think it is a set back and will take time to get her back on tract. How much time, I don't know.

She did come up on the bed at about 4am for some cuddling - even got under the covers for a few minutes. Maybe she only does that when she is scared or upset. I hope not because I want her to receive, and give, affection.

Well, mom will be here one more night and then things will get back to normal.
 
Sheila,

Even if right now she is coming to bed only because she is scared or upset it is still a good sign because she is coming to YOU!! For that comfort and reassurance. So she at least views you as a source of security. Right now that maybe as much as she knows how to do, she may have no clue just yet that those cuddles feel good when you aren't scared or upset, that the same bean that makes you feel safe right now when scared will also love on you just to love on you.

Mel, Maxwell, Autumn & The Fur Gang
 
Mel, I hope you are right - that she figures out it is good at all times to cuddle and purr. She is so cure when she is doing that. She is even making nests with her poor little paws.

Was gone all day - another of those days where the more you get done the farther behind you are. I am so tired. My sister and mom leave tomorrow, but my aunt is still in the hospital so I need to take care of her cats and then bring her home when the time comes and arrange for someone to stay with her for a day or two. I am exhausted, but there is more to do... anyway, was gone all day...

... and came home to more pee on the rug. It looks like all she did was pee on the rug, not any in the LB. Of course this is both a 100% wool rug, hand woven (co needs professional cleaning) and a rug I really love so I do not want to toss it. I am soaking the areas with Simple Solution, but that doesn't do a 100% job of cleaning it. Sort of leave a residue too. Hard to make them stop once they have anointed a spot. Sigh...
 
Sheila,
Try a different spray - try Simple Green Pet Stain and Odor remover. Here's a pic and info on it:

http://www.simplegreen.com/products_pet_dog.php

I tried the 'dog' that I can get at PetSmart several months ago - I like it MANY MANY times better than the 'Simple Solution's'. Those seem to have WAY too much detergent in it - touch your tongue to your fingers when you've finished and even after you wash, you'll STILL taste bad stuff. The Simple Green works on both cat and dog and DOES stop the 'repeat' pee because of smell...

CamiGirl...I iz sorry you haz yellin', all our kitties run and hide when that happens...at least u knowz Mama is safe....

BIG HUG!
 
Sheila- I am so sorry that Cami is getting mixed messages while your mom is in town. Arguments are not helpful for kids or pets :sad: .

Hopefully recovery won't be too long after your mom leaves.
 
Hi Sheila, I'm sorry to hear that your Christmas was so stressful for everyone - you, your aunt, your mother, sister and most of all Cami. Your description of the conversation with your mother reminds me of similar conversations I've had with my mother. Whenever she's upset, frustrated or stressed out with things in her life that she can't "control," she turns to her children e.g. me, since I'm close by, and starts trying to "control" aspects of my life - mostly about the cats - just to make herself feel better, that she's doing something. I dno't know for sure if that's what your mother is doing, but it sure sounds familiar! And of course my mother doesn't admit to it, nor have I called her out on it, but it took me a long time to figure out why some days she's fine with my brood of cats and the care I'm giving them and other days she just starts ranting and telling me what she would do.

My favorite product for cleaning kitty accidents on carpet and rugs is Folex Carpet Cleaner. I bought mine online but I think you can buy it at Target and Wal-Mart. I've had to clean up so much Harley and Princess vomit in the last few years that you'd think my carpets would be a tortishell pattern by now. Folex got the stains out so you can't tell where they used to be. I only had to clean up one pee accident where Harley pee'd in my bedroom closet (during the worst of his pancreatitis attack - he'd sit in the closet for hours on end and stare at the wall not moving, even to use the LB) and Folex lifted the stain and the smell out. He didn't return to pee there again.

Love 'n' snuggles to Miss Cami - I hope things settle down for you guys there soon.
 
Poor Sheila. I wish I didn't understand exactly what you are going through, but I do. It appears that you and Laura and I have the same mothers! *LOL*

Hopefully Cami will settle back down when your company leaves. And, hopefully, you will get through the stress of dealing with your aunt in the hospital, without getting run down and getting sick. I wish I could do more than understand, commiserate and offer mental support from afar, but sometimes that's all we need to give us the strength to get through what life throws at us. (((HUGS)))

Suze
 
Thanks everyone. I will look into the products suggested as soon as I can. My mother just left with my sister - will see them again at the hospital in a few minutes. Gotta run.

At least her numbers are good again!
 
Take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, and get some sleep. All might appear better in the morning! (((HUGS)))
 
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