my lovely Lianna

Status
Not open for further replies.
SweetAngel

SweetAngel

Member Since 2014
Today there is a new star in the sky, my beautiful civvie Lianna. I am still in shock.

I went upstairs to spend time with her and we cuddled, she seemed to be staggering a bit but she used the tray ok and had a few drinks of water. I opened a can of food for her and it looked like she was shivering although it was hot, (I had fan on and windows open for her. Then she started twitching and fitting, I had no idea what to do. I ran downstairs with her in my arms and put her on the sofa and rang the emergency vets, all the time I was telling her it was ok just to let go not to hang on for me. Well she came out of the fit and was still conscious, they told me to get her there asap, I have no transport and had to wait for friends to come and pick me up. The vets is about 15-20 minutes away, I rang the local emergency vets but the on duty vet was so far away I was quicker going with my friends. I knew that it wouldn't make any difference how quickly we got there. They rushed her in and then took me aside, she was unconscious, not responding to oxygen and her heart was basically giving up. I spent some time cuddling her and telling her I loved her, my friends were amazing, all 3 of us were crying. Then they called me so I could be with her when they let her go, I cuddled her again and they tried to give her the meds but her vein collapsed. They said they would have to take her and sedate her and administer an injection direct to her heart, and that unfortunately I could not be with her during this. I feel like I let my baby down, I wasn't with her at the end. Even though I know she was unconscious I still feel so guilty.

Well I am somehow going to try to get an early night and some sleep, luckily I have some sleeping meds, but it will be hard, the last few months she practically lived on my bed, and I cuddled her every night. Thank god I have my lovely Cera and my sweet Angel (I was 75 mins late with his insulin because of rushing Lili to the vets, but luckily his bg was around the same as his amps.)

Tomorrow I have my appt with the hospital and have to make an early start as there are no trains running due to engineering so I have to get buses or pay a fortune for a cab.

I will try to post on here tomorrow, but hope you all understand xxxx
 
I am so sorry to hear this,. Please don't feel bad because you couldn't be there right at the end. You were there for the other times, with kisses and scratches and pets and delicious treats and wonderful food. She knew she was well loved and no cat could wish for more.

I hope someday soon you will find yourself remembering her with a smile, not with sorrow.
 
{{{{{HUGS Cassandra}}}}}}

I am so sorry for your loss... your baby knew you loved her.....

Keeping you in my thoughts....
 
I am so very very sorry for your loss. The pain will fade but never the love.
Terri & Chicken Little
 
Cassandra, you don't know me but I read your condo last night regarding your beautiful Lianna. I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful kitty of 20 years, my heart goes out to you! :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: I believe with all my heart she knew exactly how much you loved and cared for her, please forgive yourself - big hugs!
 
Oh, Cassandra, my heart breaks for you...
You poor love...
You were an amazing care-giver and gave Lianna a glorious life. And everyone here understands the pain of your loss.

Dear Lianna, fly free little one, and land softly in the heart of the one who loves you best.

Eliz x
 
I'm so very sorry Cassandra, there is no pain like this, I know. Yes, you are in shock and will be for a while so,please take very good care of yiurself. Sorry xan't write more now, am in bed with nasty case of fly, but my thoughts are withnyou.
Diana xx
X
 
(((Cassandra))) please take care of yourself...your little angel ((Lianna)) was out of her body before you left her. She didn`t want you to be in any more pain seeing her body die. Her little spirit is free of her wore out body that we all have to shed one day. She was so happy and proud to have you for her person and that you gave her the greatest gift of setting her free. She flies close to you and will live on in your heart and memories forever for those that are loved never die. Watch for signs that she will send you to let you know she is ok and happy with her new wings.
Sending you tons of healing green light to help your hurting heart heal....what a wonderful person, caregiver and mama you are for setting her free.

I have send you on a journey to a land free of pain not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay....Sweet angel Lianna...Hugs and prayer Kath
 
Thank you all so much, you are so kind.

She is already watching over Angel, he has been too low to shoot, he's had no insulin for 18 hours and is still only 10.1 / 182 on the alphatrak.

I will write more when I can, got back from a hospital apt not long ago, haven't eaten all day (now 1.30 pm) so going to try to have something and get some rest. Don't think I can face trying to rest in my bedroom as Lili practically lived there and I am so used to snuggling up to here (Cera and Angel are out enjoying the sun) so I'll probably put something mindless on tv and dose off xxx
 
(((Thank you))) from me, Angel and Cera, and of course from little Lianna at Rainbow Bridge.

I have wonderful friends (and I'm including everyone here) and family and have had some lovely messages. Lianna was diagnosed with a heart murmur in April '07 and HCM was confirmed in December '07. My boy cat who also had it only lasted 3 eeks after his diagnosis. Lili was a fighter, she nearly made 19. She was a tiny pedigree Birman and ruled the house. In 7 years her heart had only progressed from a grade 3 to a borderline grade 4. She became partially blind and a bit arthritic, I got pet stairs so she could get on the bed, and the past year or so she mainly lived in my bedroom with the odd trip downstairs. I knew she was getting frailer, and the past couple of weeks she hadn't been herself, she seemed a bit unsteady and took longer to get herself comfortable. Her appetite was reasonable and she was drinking (if anything, too much). She was lying on the floor more, and wanting to be picked up. I took her to the vets on Saturday and he said she had lost weight and her stomach was distended. I was supposed to take her in yesterday for bloods to test her liver and kidneys. I was prepared for a phone call later in the week with bad news, I was even prepared for the vet to say it was best to let her go.

On Sunday I knew something was wrong, she bumped into something at one point. I feel bad because some friends had come over to help me with the garden and we were outside for 3 hours. I said I'd take them to dinner and they said to have a shower and come back with them but I said no (thank god) we could go somewhere local to me. They went and I spent time with Lili, as I described in an earlier post. I'm still in shock at the moment, knowing it will hit me like a ton of bricks. Taking care of Angel is making me stay focussed.

Here is a link to pics of my babies, the first 2 are Cera and Angel, then Angel with Lianna. The little ginger and white girl is Angel's sister Jordan, the black and white boy is Cera's brother Sam, and the tabby girl near the bottom is Abi who moved in from 3 houses away, all 3 are GA.s.

http://s603.photobucket.com/user/Lianna ... /my%20cats
 
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your beloved civie Lianna. Be kind to yourself over the next few days, weeks, months aw you continue to deal with the grief of her loss.

"if love could have saved her, she would have lived forever."
 
"if love could have saved her, she would have lived forever."
Click to expand...

(((Deb))) that is what I first said when my little Siamese girl Sophie went to Rainbow Bridge just before her 2nd birthday. She was a month older than Lili and they came from the same breeder, I fell in love with Sophie when I went to see Lianna. I knew she was sick but the breeder (who loved her too) didn't know what was wrong. Every time I called with updates on Lianna I would ask after Sophie, and I mentioned I wanted to get her a companion, and she asked if I would like Sophie since I'd bonded with her. She didn't charge me as there were no guarantees about her health. Little Lianna mothered her even though she was only about 6 months old herself at the time.

Sophie was sick quite a bit and had the runs quite a bit but she was so happy and adored me. Eventually she got worse and it was discovered she had an inoperable liver shunt, she lived only weeks before I had to let her go. I was told most cats with her condition don't make it to nearly 2. All my cats are miracles but she outlived her condition, so did Lianna, and Angel's sister Jordan defied all odds when she was a kitten and survived a mystery illness and temperature that would have finished off most kittens and even adult cats!!

I'm in denial at the moment, basically coz I can't practically deal with losing Lianna at the moment, I'm having work done on the house in a couple of weeks and all the rooms are upside down. I have to have a few days to get things semi straight and then I will try to face up to it. I feel like she's helping me be strong temporarily!
x
 
I am so sad at the news of Lianna. I'm sorry for your terrible loss, but thankful for the years of love you shared with each other.

((Hugs))
 
Cassandra,
This is my 1st time back to the board in a while. I hope you got my reply on your email plus I also sent you an E Card, but I am not sure if you got them.
Again though I will express my very deepest sympathies on the passing of Lianna.
Just from reading your posts, I know how precious she was and still is to you. You took such good care of her and she knew how much you loved her.
I hope that you are feeling somewhat better physically as well.
Lots of Hugs and prayers for comfort sent you way.
Donna
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top