Mental health crisis of me because of cats' potential CKD and Hyperthyroidism

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PH&MonkeyPenPenFaFaTiger

PH&MonkeyPenPenFaFaTiger

Member Since 2020
Hi all,

The bloodwork of Fafa and Tiger makes me feel overwhelmed and guilty about not monitoring them close enough previously (I did not live with them). They may have CKD and Hyperthyroidism. Luckily it is not serious yet and doesn't seem to affect their well-being of them at all. Currently, I am waiting for the vet to report to me this Saturday. I will update you people on that.

My question is I feel I am operating suboptimally because it is a mental health crisis for me, operating suboptimally can be a very bad thing because it will affect my ability to help my cats, for example, I would procrastinate to act to handle the problem (inaction) Is that a common experience for cat owners? How to restore or enhance my mental health and focus on the right thing?
 
Hi Peter, can you help me get a few details first. Are Fafa and Tiger your cats that are being cared for by someone else or do you just feel responsible for them? You mentioned in your post in Community that your family cares less than you do about pets. Do Fafa and Tiger technically belong to them and/or are they the cats caregivers?
When we say "You have to be able to take of yourself before you can take care of a cat" it really means something. It's expensive, it can take a lot of time and can drain all your emotional energy. There are members here that have three of four diabetic cats at home, I could never do that. We already have five senior cats, a very old dog and my wife's mom who is 96 and almost blind. That's as much as we can handle right now.
You cannot save the whole world Peter. Stay in your comfort zone and pick your battles carefully for your own mental health. If that means just having one or two cats that's fine, we can't all be running shelters with 100 cats. You're a good man Peter, maybe you just needed to hear that from a friend.
 
Dickson is right, you have to take care of yourself first.

Hyperthyroidism and CKD are manageable. With hyperthyroidism it is usually 1 pill a day. Or you can opt for the iodine treatment and not have to give the pill. In the early stages of CKD, it is managed by diet. Later stages may require sub-q occasionally.

Are these your cat's or do they live with family members? If they are yours, then try to ignore any negative comments from others. If they belong to someone else, the best you can do is show them how to take care of them, but then you have to step back. Yes it is not easy to do that, but you have to do what is best for you.
 
Take a look at my signature ;)

Hyperthyroid is very manageable. You can opt for an iodine treatment which is curative, but at least in the US tends to be more expensive (about $2,000). We opted for methimazole, which is typically given twice a day until they are back in normal thyroid numbers. Then it can be given once a day, though some vets still prefer twice. I pay about $60/mo for a 5mg BID dose, compounded in liquid. Typical starting dose is 2.5mg BID. The downside is they do need a few more labs early on to recheck thyroid (and kidneys), so that's another expense.

Treating the thyroid either way can worsen or reveal CKD...in reality the kidneys were damaged to start, but the effects of hyperthyroid mask it in the labs. I thought for sure Mr Kitty would end up with CKD, but so far no change to kidney labs.

CKD is also very manageable. Early stage is diet change to lower phosphorus. As it progresses you may need to add a phosphorus binder to food...and eventually they may need subQ fluids and other supportive treatment (anti nausea, etc). If you've never given fluids before, it's not nearly as scary as it seems.
 
PH&MonkeyPenPenFaFaTiger said:
My question is I feel I am operating suboptimally because it is a mental health crisis for me, operating suboptimally can be a very bad thing because it will affect my ability to help my cats, for example, I would procrastinate to act to handle the problem (inaction) Is that a common experience for cat owners? How to restore or enhance my mental health and focus on the right thing?
Click to expand...
Treat yourself well and then treat your cats. Whether its subpar or not, realize you're doing more than many people in this world would do. Always strive for improvement, but also realize that even if your abilities aren't optimal, your cats are in a far better place under your care than they would be in the wild. I completely understand you wanting to procrastinate I feel the same way (although I can't and don't let myself act upon it for her sake). You're strong and more resilient than you have ever known, I believe that to be the case of everyone on this forum who have accepted the seemingly insurmountable task of this disease.
 
Noah & me (GA) said:
Hi Peter, can you help me get a few details first. Are Fafa and Tiger your cats that are being cared for by someone else or do you just feel responsible for them? You mentioned in your post in Community that your family cares less than you do about pets. Do Fafa and Tiger technically belong to them and/or are they the cats caregivers?
When we say "You have to be able to take of yourself before you can take care of a cat" it really means something. It's expensive, it can take a lot of time and can drain all your emotional energy. There are members here that have three of four diabetic cats at home, I could never do that. We already have five senior cats, a very old dog and my wife's mom who is 96 and almost blind. That's as much as we can handle right now.
You cannot save the whole world, Peter. Stay in your comfort zone and pick your battles carefully for your own mental health. If that means just having one or two cats that's fine, we can't all be running shelters with 100 cats. You're a good man Peter, maybe you just needed to hear that from a friend.
Click to expand...

Regarding my mental health, I become very sad and withdraw from FDMB or people in general yesterday, and got a bit physically dizzy. I have had this tendency for many years and now I am actively taking care of my mental health. Yes, as you people suggest, taking care myself first, I will do that, especially since Fafa and Tiger's condition may not be that urgent at all, so I have room to take care of myself,,,,,,

The vent post I made a few days ago is not very related to this FaFa and Tiger problem now, it is just me being too mad by remembering that they say I have too high a standard.

For the question of who is the caretaker, to put it short, it is me and my Mom. The cats belong to the whole family, but they actually "more belong" to me because I care most. And fortunately, my Mom is willing to execute the things I tell her to do.

Let me explain the history. My family bought the cats when I was 13 y/o. It is their decision so technically I am not responsible for taking care of them, although I always love my cats.

After Monkey had diabetes two years ago, I was completely shocked that my family are far from competent enough to take care of him, so I become the one that took intensive care of cats, which was a complete overhaul of my routine.
1.5 years ago I need to move out so I could only remotely take care of my cats by giving instructions to my family. All decisions about cat care should be made by me because I am the only one who has that intelligence. However not living with the cats and having millions of issues in my life cause me too distracted and not watch my cat close enough, especially my family often catch me by surprise by making moronic decisions about cat care without even informing me. (e.g. gave Monkey insulin 2 HOURS AFTER the meal)

Now my plan is to restart monitoring extremely closely and take action to find help asap.

Btw regarding "saving the whole world", someone I trust told me that I have that kind of "magical thinking" that often happened in children. I guess this time is time to learn about my limits. For me, I just don't know how to accept that my cat is not getting the best care, and when I think of this I become not care about my comfort zone. In some sense, I think the cats are me, like my body, I and my cats are the same entity, and I need to take care of what is me.
 
Lisa and Witn (GA) said:
Dickson is right, you have to take care of yourself first.

Hyperthyroidism and CKD are manageable. With hyperthyroidism it is usually 1 pill a day. Or you can opt for the iodine treatment and not have to give the pill. In the early stages of CKD, it is managed by diet. Later stages may require sub-q occasionally.

Are these your cat's or do they live with family members? If they are yours, then try to ignore any negative comments from others. If they belong to someone else, the best you can do is show them how to take care of them, but then you have to step back. Yes it is not easy to do that, but you have to do what is best for you.
Click to expand...

Hi Lisa, the reply I just post can answer this question.
 
FrostD said:
Take a look at my signature ;)

Hyperthyroid is very manageable. You can opt for an iodine treatment which is curative, but at least in the US tends to be more expensive (about $2,000). We opted for methimazole, which is typically given twice a day until they are back in normal thyroid numbers. Then it can be given once a day, though some vets still prefer twice. I pay about $60/mo for a 5mg BID dose, compounded in liquid. Typical starting dose is 2.5mg BID. The downside is they do need a few more labs early on to recheck thyroid (and kidneys), so that's another expense.

Treating the thyroid either way can worsen or reveal CKD...in reality the kidneys were damaged to start, but the effects of hyperthyroid mask it in the labs. I thought for sure Mr Kitty would end up with CKD, but so far no change to kidney labs.

CKD is also very manageable. Early stage is diet change to lower phosphorus. As it progresses you may need to add a phosphorus binder to food...and eventually they may need subQ fluids and other supportive treatment (anti nausea, etc). If you've never given fluids before, it's not nearly as scary as it seems.
Click to expand...

Thanks for telling me the information, they are very useful, but I cannot reply detailly because now I feel I am a bit weak to say too many things. :confused:
 
Ben and Oreo said:
Treat yourself well and then treat your cats. Whether its subpar or not, realize you're doing more than many people in this world would do. Always strive for improvement, but also realize that even if your abilities aren't optimal, your cats are in a far better place under your care than they would be in the wild. I completely understand you wanting to procrastinate I feel the same way (although I can't and don't let myself act upon it for her sake). You're strong and more resilient than you have ever known, I believe that to be the case of everyone on this forum who have accepted the seemingly insurmountable task of this disease.
Click to expand...
Noah & me (GA) said:
Hi Peter, can you help me get a few details first. Are Fafa and Tiger your cats that are being cared for by someone else or do you just feel responsible for them? You mentioned in your post in Community that your family cares less than you do about pets. Do Fafa and Tiger technically belong to them and/or are they the cats caregivers?
When we say "You have to be able to take of yourself before you can take care of a cat" it really means something. It's expensive, it can take a lot of time and can drain all your emotional energy. There are members here that have three of four diabetic cats at home, I could never do that. We already have five senior cats, a very old dog and my wife's mom who is 96 and almost blind. That's as much as we can handle right now.
You cannot save the whole world Peter. Stay in your comfort zone and pick your battles carefully for your own mental health. If that means just having one or two cats that's fine, we can't all be running shelters with 100 cats. You're a good man Peter, maybe you just needed to hear that from a friend.
Click to expand...

being regarded as a good man by you is helpful, I guess I just need to give more credit to myself. In my life, I am often extremely result-oriented and forgot to credit myself for trying.
 
Ben and Oreo said:
Treat yourself well and then treat your cats. Whether its subpar or not, realize you're doing more than many people in this world would do. Always strive for improvement, but also realize that even if your abilities aren't optimal, your cats are in a far better place under your care than they would be in the wild. I completely understand you wanting to procrastinate I feel the same way (although I can't and don't let myself act upon it for her sake). You're strong and more resilient than you have ever known, I believe that to be the case of everyone on this forum who have accepted the seemingly insurmountable task of this disease.
Click to expand...

that's true, my cats are already better than most cats, and I try more than ten times harder than the average pet-owner... knowing that may make me feel better. and good to know I am not the only one to procrastinate. :)
 
PH&MonkeyPenPenFaFaTiger said:
I feel I am a bit weak....I need to take care of my dizziness first
Click to expand...
If you think you need to see a doctor you should go soon.
When I get stressed I don't eat right, I don't get enough sleep, my blood pressure goes up and I make everyone in the house nuts. I don't want to leave my wife alone in this big stupid house with five old cats so I cut out the parts that I couldn't deal with anymore. Not everyone can say goodbye to their family but we can all choose how many tiny lives we care for and the grief that always follows.
There will always be another cat that needs help Peter. You have to think about yourself and where you'll be in 20 years to know your limits.
 
Noah & me (GA) said:
If you think you need to see a doctor you should go soon.
When I get stressed I don't eat right, I don't get enough sleep, my blood pressure goes up and I make everyone in the house nuts. I don't want to leave my wife alone in this big stupid house with five old cats so I cut out the parts that I couldn't deal with anymore. Not everyone can say goodbye to their family but we can all choose how many tiny lives we care for and the grief that always follows.
There will always be another cat that needs help Peter. You have to think about yourself and where you'll be in 20 years to know your limits.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I will see if I can see a doctor of Chinese medicine tomorrow. I can understand the cutting off family, it make total sense and for me I think good life is based on subtraction, not addition.
Know where will I be in 20 years? What do you mean? I think the cats will unlikely to live more than 5 years.
That's true for helping another cat, I still want to make a very affordable robotic arm for cats to play with, play can relieve stress and thus lower the risk of getting many diseases.
 
Noah & me (GA) said:
That was my story of bringing home two kittens and not realizing I would have one of them for the next 23 years. You can't plan for that but you have to be prepared if it happens to you.
I've had many cats that lived well past 15, sometimes it's just genetics and good luck.
Click to expand...

Hahaha I see, you mean that you did not expect to suddenly have two kittens at your home.
 
Leroy got smacked by a car and broke his jaw, got stuck behind the fridge, fell from the second floor into a snow bank, walked across a candle and flickered for a few seconds, flew for six hours on two flights, had copper deposits in his eyes and ate really crappy food. What I never expected was that after I smartened up and kept him inside he would live such a good life. I took him for walks on his birthday, this was his 23rd.
leroy_birthday_walkat22 (2).JPG
 

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