Male/Female cat combo question

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Traci and Boomer

Traci and Boomer

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I was just horrified to learn that two fixed cats of the opposite sex living together could potentially start having sexual activity together. Is this true even if they are fixed? Has anyone experienced this? I'm so totally grossed out by this prospect. I am getting a female kitten for Merlin and don't want to think that this could happen. HELP! Is it true?
 
I have two females and one male, all fixed as kittens. The male does occasionally start into the physical moves of sexual activity, but he just doesn't have the equipment to get very far. And the females always let him know immediately that his attentions are unwelcome. I don't think it's something you really need to be worried about.
 
Oh my .. I have never heard that ...

We've had 4 girls and only 1 boy (all fixed) we did not experience anything like that ..
 
My female lived next door to a friend's male and she would cry at the door some nights. Then when we would go next door for a visit (we lived in a apt building), she would totaly ignore him. He would follow her around and you could tell he was trying to get a poke, but she wants giving him any (although she held her tail straight in the air). The exception in midora's case is that she did not have a hysterectomy. She was unable to be properly fixed due to a birth defect - the wall of her bladder was connected to the wall of her uterus. She had bowel problems her entire life. This is a bit of an exception though. My friend WC who has 4 cats (2 of each) does not have any issues. her problems are the female bengal wants to beat up the siamease female...
 
I've always had boys and girls and the closest to this we've ever come was one little man who liked a soft pink blanket. We just let him have his private time with the blankie, nothing bad ever came of it :oops:
 
Thinking back on all my pets, past and present, all neutered relatively young, and they've all been humpers. Regardless if they were female, female bonded pairs, or male, male bonded pairs or a more traditional mixed pair. Usually one is the lover and one the beloved. And probably more about dominance than anything else.
 
6 males and 6 females here, and no such problems here, as everyone was fixed long before they even knew they were opposite sexes...lol

In the past I have had a male that was fixed late in life ( age 6) and he would make the moves on the girls but was quickly told that he just wasn't the type of guy they were looking for. :roll: And the neighbor's fixed female drooler keeps trying to mount my fixed male drooler, but she isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box either.

Mel, Maxwell, Musette & The Fur Gang
 
I have 3 males and 3 females. None of them ever show any interest in each other this way. Sadie, our blind cat however, also gets naughty with blankets and soft throws. I just leave him alone or sometimes try to get his attention somewhere else as it really seems to distress him sometimes.
 
there is a big difference between an animal 'humping' another for dominance reasons, and animals having 'sex'. Our male/female cats never interacted in either way, whereas I've seen lots of male dogs 'hump' each other in a quest for dominance. But more importantly, 'stuff' between pets happens and its part of life and I wouldn't get too upset about it.
 
Well, it really depends on the cats, and how much of an "urge" they have. Bandit is fixed but he *ahem* LOVES his super soft fleece blanket on a daily basis. He's what I like to call, an amorous kitty. We discovered that if he didn't have his own soft blanket to "love", he would "love" our clothes, especially my bath robe. This has been going on since he was very young, although it's gotten a bit more frequent the past few years. Luckily, he only likes to "love" his blanket usually when we aren't in the room with him. Although, I have to say after this many years I think it's far more funny and cute than icky.

He would try and "love" Gabby every now and then. She would have none of it the majority of the time. However, due to medical issues she was never fixed, so she did sometimes allow him to approach her when she was in heat. All it ended up in was some furious licking and awkward meows and positioning, but the deed was never actually done because Bandit was unable to, umm, perform all the way because he's fixed. At first I was really freaked out and separated them when I caught them doing it, but once I realized that despite their efforts they could never actually do the whole deed, I got better with just letting them be and pretending like it wasn't happening.

Some cats are just more amorous than others. It's not impossible that the fixed male and female won't engage in some activity together, like the cat equivalent of making out, but they won't ever be able to do the whole the deed because the male will be unable to. Male fixed cats with amorous tendencies are far more common than females with amorous tendencies, so the odds of you having one of each is pretty slim. Usually the male will approach the female and the female will not even let the male approach them in such a way, so if you have an amorous male he'll need a soft blanket of his own.

Cats are animals, and as much it makes us a bit uncomfortable to see that our "kids" have these urges (some more than others), it's part of who they are. I really wouldn't worry about things like this.
 
My male, Tableau, used to occasionally try something with my gir,l Daisy. He would bite her neck and then hop back and forth between his back legs. Like he knew he should be doing something, but didn't know what. No actual humping. I found it comical, rather than disturbing. Daisy would stop it pretty quick. With age, his drive has left, so we haven't had any incidents.
 
Donna & Buddha said:
Thinking back on all my pets, past and present, all neutered relatively young, and they've all been humpers. Regardless if they were female, female bonded pairs, or male, male bonded pairs or a more traditional mixed pair. Usually one is the lover and one the beloved. And probably more about dominance than anything else.
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I've NEVER had a humper!!!! @-) :oops: :?
 
I think I'm horrified because this never even crossed my mind and a friend of mine told me a disgusting story of a boy/girl dog who humped in front of company and they had to physcially make them stop. Eeeeeewww!

Merlin has never been sexual. Neither have any of my boy kitties together or on their own. For a little while in college there were 4 cats in my house - two boys, two girls, no issues with this.

To some of you it may be no big deal but to me it's gross to think about is all and to see it? Yuck. I'm just trying to prepare myself.
 
Traci, remember when hometesting was really hard and thought of giving injections was terrible. You just get used to things and stuff like having a big red sharps container on your kitchen counter doesn't even phase you until someone new comes in and looks at it with disgust. <--- Okay, that happens in my house, maybe not others :lol:

Your kitties may never do anything at all with each other. Mine don't. Other than my one boy who liked his blankie :)
 
I was kind of grossed out at first--but if your cat's a humper your cat's a humper--and there's nothing you can do about it. You still love them just the same. And like I said, after the first few times it stops being icky and starts being pretty funny. :-)

Bandit usually doesn't like to do it in front of people, but...sometimes if I have a girl friend over and there are no guys in the house, he wants to do it in front of us for some reason. At first I was mortified that he was doing it in front of company, but the reaction from every single person who saw it was the same--lots of laughter. One friend started calling him "El Bandito Sauve," of which he is referred to by my friends often.

You want embarrassing? It's far more embarrassing that Bandit thinks certain feminine hygiene products that vaguely resemble mice are the most fun toys on the face of the planet, so that if I forget to put the box away on the very top shelf in the bathroom, or I leave my purse unzipped around him, I'll come home (usually with company) to find one ripped open, and the pieces scattered around the house from play (This happened once when my boyfriend's PARENTS came to visit and he somehow got one out of my purse. I wanted to just die).
 
Eighteen Christmas' ago, my daughter received a Lambchop hand puppet, and Thomas took to her and has "lambchopped" ever since. Before that he "baby bopped" Now when he chops I get very happy, because at his age that is about the only exercise he gets. It is a barometer of how he is feeling. And as long as he is chopping I know he still has quality in his life. At least he has been monogamous since taking her. Funny thing is, our civvie(GA) used to watch Thomas and when he was done, he would lie down on top of lambchop and cuddle with her.
Dana
 
tuckers mom said:
Traci, remember when hometesting was really hard and thought of giving injections was terrible. You just get used to things and stuff like having a big red sharps container on your kitchen counter doesn't even phase you until someone new comes in and looks at it with disgust. <--- Okay, that happens in my house, maybe not others :lol:

Your kitties may never do anything at all with each other. Mine don't. Other than my one boy who liked his blankie :)
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Good point Jennifer....you do get used to things. It's just that Trinket's a little girl. I'd be pissed if Merlin tried to mount her. He doesn't seem like a horny cat though, thank goodness!
 
Julia & Bandit said:
I was kind of grossed out at first--but if your cat's a humper your cat's a humper--and there's nothing you can do about it. You still love them just the same. And like I said, after the first few times it stops being icky and starts being pretty funny. :-)

Bandit usually doesn't like to do it in front of people, but...sometimes if I have a girl friend over and there are no guys in the house, he wants to do it in front of us for some reason. At first I was mortified that he was doing it in front of company, but the reaction from every single person who saw it was the same--lots of laughter. One friend started calling him "El Bandito Sauve," of which he is referred to by my friends often.

You want embarrassing? It's far more embarrassing that Bandit thinks certain feminine hygiene products that vaguely resemble mice are the most fun toys on the face of the planet, so that if I forget to put the box away on the very top shelf in the bathroom, or I leave my purse unzipped around him, I'll come home (usually with company) to find one ripped open, and the pieces scattered around the house from play (This happened once when my boyfriend's PARENTS came to visit and he somehow got one out of my purse. I wanted to just die).
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:oops: I guess if I were a cat I'd like to play with tampons too. What fun!
Merlin's not a humper and neither is Trinket (I've discussed this with her really cool foster mom) so hopefully this will be a non-issue. It never even crossed my mind until today at lunch.
 
Thanks guys, I am laughing sooo hard from reading these! I've normally had male cats, but for the past 12 years I've had a boy and girl together. I've never had a problem with any behavior, guess I've gotten them fixed before they knew what was going on. Sabrina did go into heat before I had her spayed. At that time I had a 17 year old neutered male, he just looked at her, then at me as if to say 'What am I supposed to do about THAT?'

haha_smiley

Jeanne and Sebastian (sugar cat) and Sabrina (blind kitty)
 
Tracy....I could'nt figure out why this was so horrifying to you?
Granted if it was done obsessively or in front of people visiting you...but really, it's just nature.
I don't find it disgusting at all.
They are animals...and they can crave sex without being able to reproduce. Let them be....
It's no one's business what two consenting adult cats do behind closed doors.. :lol:
Lori
 
I have a male and a female. I got them both on the same day (from different shelters) as kittens. 12 years later that hasnt ever come up... They snuggle and sleep next to each other,but nothing sexual at all. Maybe it depends on the cat?
 
Julia & Bandit said:
I was kind of grossed out at first--but if your cat's a humper your cat's a humper--and there's nothing you can do about it. You still love them just the same. And like I said, after the first few times it stops being icky and starts being pretty funny. :-)

Bandit usually doesn't like to do it in front of people, but...sometimes if I have a girl friend over and there are no guys in the house, he wants to do it in front of us for some reason. At first I was mortified that he was doing it in front of company, but the reaction from every single person who saw it was the same--lots of laughter. One friend started calling him "El Bandito Sauve," of which he is referred to by my friends often.

You want embarrassing? It's far more embarrassing that Bandit thinks certain feminine hygiene products that vaguely resemble mice are the most fun toys on the face of the planet, so that if I forget to put the box away on the very top shelf in the bathroom, or I leave my purse unzipped around him, I'll come home (usually with company) to find one ripped open, and the pieces scattered around the house from play (This happened once when my boyfriend's PARENTS came to visit and he somehow got one out of my purse. I wanted to just die).
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ROTFL!! Thanks for the Friday night laugh. That is priceless LOL
 
best.thread.ever.
at least since I've been on board. I LOL'd at least a half dozen times reading it.
Then I started thinking, "hey wait a minute, Bob used to be quite the humper!"
We first noticed it when he started putting the "moves" on Lillian, who was his sister. I can remember yelling at him, "Bob, what the hell are you doing? She's your SISTER for crying out loud". And he'd look at me like "hey, she's the only girl in the herd, dad". He'd go the whole deal, biting her on the neck (which made her screech), looked like he knew what he was doing? They were both fixed early in life. After a while, we'd hear Lillian scream from the other room, and just say "Bob, leave your poor sister alone!"
One time, I heard Winkie (who was blind) screeching, and walked in on Bob getting familiar with poor Winkie (who was a male). Winkie's like saying "What the meow was THAT???!!!???", and Bob skulking off looking guilty. He when through relationships with a couple bath robes and a fleece blanket too. But now that I think of it, he just quit doing it one day I guess. I haven't seem him hump anything since we moved into this house about 5 years ago. Maybe it's the salt air? Maybe he's just figured out it's something he can only do when noboby else is home. God knows what he's humping if he still is humping these days. There's only Mullet now, and Mullet I'm pretty sure would tear Bob's head off if he ever tried it with him. But yeah, after the first couple times, it became funny rather than freaky.

Carl and Bob in SC
 
Ok, well, I just want to say that sometimes Conor does this, but its NOT sexual. Its a dominance thing.. biting the neck happens during mating but also is a dominance position.
 
this thread has gotten funny, but does make me stop and think about how Cedric LOVES to roll around in my shirts. he especially likes my work blouse from Disney. Hmm....
 
Lisa and Merlyn (GA) said:
Ok, well, I just want to say that sometimes Conor does this, but its NOT sexual. Its a dominance thing.. biting the neck happens during mating but also is a dominance position.
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Bandit's is definitely partly sexual. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can...ummm....see his little thing when he does it. And he purrs the whole way through it. :oops:

It also seems to be a comfort thing to him...he usually does it while we're gone or in bed, and he does this weird meow/quiet yowl right before he starts.
 
ok, well if you MUST know....when I brush Tom's hind legs and brush them right down to the tail he purrs dramatically and his teeny tiny thing comes out too. I suppose the brushing covers the area where his bits use to be...but he still has a sensitivity there. He does not try to hump or anything.
He 'may' drool, but that's about it.

Now, when Tom first was a 'visitor' here at my house (before he moved in) I had a stunning, runway model female fixed young girl kitty. The minute she would see Tom she would throw herself down on the floor in front of him and strike any number of playboy type poses to interest him.
He was nonplussed by this. She followed him and would always wait his arrival every morning.
Eventually Tom did find use for her as a fellow hunter and she settled for that role.
I would watch them co-hunt a bird, or lizard and it was video worthy.
Ohhhh, Tiger was such a great and iinspiring kitty (a whole 'nother story) but she was toooooo freindly and practically gave herself to the coyote's one day :cry:

So sometimes the girl cat instigates the boy cat to do it is what I'm saying. Altho Tom never did succome to Tigers charms and advances.

Lori
 
I'm glad this thread turned out to be funny. The reason I'm upset at the thought is that Trinket is a kitten and if Merlin tried to hump her it would seem that my little baby was being violated and that would upset me. Hell, I wouldn't want to be humped by some big monster cat if I were her. I've talked to other people in real life too and I feel a little better. Dave used to have 3 dogs - 2 girls and a boy. He said it the boy ever tried anything he would have "gotten his ass kicked" by the girls.
 
Judah is def the alpha male at our house. He is Bobbie's brother. Then there is Bert- the scaredy cat with the Barney Fife complex....and Sadie. He's happy with anything fleece and never tries to bite anyone's neck. Judah will walk up to a girl and bite her neck as if to say he is just reminding them he's still the alpha male in the house. They tolerate it. Bert will decide to do it and the girls will not tolerate it. He doesn't even try it with his mama, Harry. But he will strut up to Bobbie or Bit and try to bite them and they pop him up side the head with much growling, hissing, and spitting, and let him know real fast there will be none of that from him! His eyes get big and he runs away. But I think that is just dominance, not sexual.
 
I've been giggling my way through this thread!

I've always had a male and a female cat. Up until Gizmo, there's never been an issue. Gizmo, however, has been amorous with Gabby ever since he came home with me and he's 10 years Gabby's junior. Needless to say, when he was much smaller, the mechanics didn't work. Now that he's bigger than Gabby, she's just not amused.
 
Quite a few of my cats over the years have at least TRIED to figure out what they would have been doing, if they hadn't been fixed, and they knew what the heck they should be doing. Its usually a non-event really. The only time it ever caused a stir was the first time my hubby saw "his" kitten Nicholas Von Icklestein hump one of the brown fur-covered pillows I have. He was shocked, absolutely flabbergasted. Nicholas had been rescued at around 5-6 weeks, neutered at 5-6 months and had never been around an un-neutered female since he was rescued. You can tell he's kind of confused by the whole deal, he starts out snuggleing and snuzzing the pillow, bathing it, rubbing his head all over it. Then he'll start kneading it with his front paws like cats knead anything else. Then he'll bite the pillow and nurse on it while kneading it and then... um, lets just say it goes south from there. I laughed my arse off the first time hubby saw part deux of that little scenerio.

The cat turns 4 this Halloween, even hubby stopped being shocked a long time ago. We have 2 of the brown fuzzy pillows and I swear the cat prefers one of them to the other. We now call the pillows "Nicky's girlfriends" or "The Twins". I'll wake up and find the pillow off the couch and outside my bedroom door, or down the hallway. Sometimes we'll find one lying in front of the kibble bowl - we call that a "dinner date". A couple of times a month we'll find BOTH of the pillows off the couch when we wake up or come home from somewhere. Sometimes they're in the same spot, sometimes they aren't. You can imagine the comments in each of those cases. If I really want to mess with poor Nicholas' head I'll swap the pillows on the couch so they're not in the same spot they were before. He'll come in, start snuzzing on the one then look all confused. He ALWAYS figures it out and then he resumes with his favourite "girlfriend".

All things considered, I'd rather the poor pillows get his attention then have him humping another cat, trying to hump me, or his more normal interaction - attacking another cat. Anything that keeps that cat quiet, not underfoot, not smacking another cat, and not destroying furniture or possessions - he eats shoelaces - we call him the Destroyer of Shoelaces - we have to keep our shoes up off the ground or they're toast - is fine by me.
 
Well, I have enjoyed this thread immensely, lol! I currently have a male and female, and haven't seen them even give each other a passing glance, except when Jessie turns into the wicked witch of the west. And then something just snaps inside her little head and she wants to maim him.
Nothing remotely sexual happening here.
 
Sometimes Cecil used to jump Dottie, big mistake for him! She would spin around and bite his boy parts, lol.. She never put up with his advances, he learned the hard way.

Sandy - Dottie, Jeter & Tilly
 
Never had it happen with a male that was nurtured as a kitten. I did have a female who was nuetured after two liters of kittens, she would lure stray toms home. Only one at a time, thin little vagabond boys. Then once I'd fed them up until they were healthy and adoptable, she ran them off! Her own version of "cat rescue" I guess. I also have a cat that has never been bred, but went through two heats. She doesn't care about other cats. But when this one tom goes by she runs to the window and flirts with him! All the girl cats love him, must be because he's a gentleman and a blue eyed blonde. (Siamese mix) I have his daughter, she even has one crossed eye exactly like his. At least half the cats here are from his bloodline. I've been trying to catch him for over a year, since I first found out he was abandoned. Watching that poor cat drag himself through a monsoon to the neighbors cat would have been a good ad for getting males nuetured. A friend had a male she kept inside because she couldn't afford to have him done at the time. He never tried humping the female cats, instead he had a stuffed rabbit he was in love with. Really, really in love with. To the point she finally had to have him done because he was getting infections. Contrary to what some boys were told, it evidently doesn't make boy cats blind, hee hee. party_cat
 
Cracking up at this thread!

When Miss Jezebelle was still alive, Willie would, from time to time, get rather aggressive and try to mount her. Miss Belle was not having it. She had front claws... he did not. They had both been fixed.

At 3 am, I'd hear her screeching at him, then he'd come in about the time I was waking up with his face all torn up, with this look of "I iz de saddest kitty. Look what she did to me!!!," all looking for sympathy. I'd just laugh and tell him that's what he gets. NO MEANS NO!!!
 
My neighbor's cat (a neutered boy) and my now deceased neutered boy were the best of friends. I discovered one day the neighbor cat mounting my boy and biting his scruff and my boy allowing it. "well that's what friends are for look" on his face.

I mentioned it to my neighbor and she said, well he does it to me all the time. He would mount her arm and do his thing and still does by the way....and yes, his you know what would come out.

sigh......
 
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