I don't know if I can do this anymore, yet here we are!

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Just too upset to go into detail now, but I will come back later. I need to take a step away for awhile, get out of the house, feel like there is something else beside going to work, and spending the rest of the waking hours trying to figure all this out. I love my Jessie girl, but she is such a little spitfire. Be back later.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

take a break, forget about diabetes for today and just make it a you day ok. i think alot of times it becomes all consuming in the beginning until it catches up to us and we feel like you are today perhaps. that's when we all need to remind ourselves that kitty is still kitty and not a number or a science experiment or whatever.

come back tonight, tomorrow, when u are feeling better and tell us what's going on and we'll try to help you make this better. did you ever get in contact with leslie or venita in your area? maybe you can even talk to one of them and get some of this off your chest?

(((hugs)))
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Jessie's Mom,
OMG.. I know exactly what you are talking about..... I would go crazy watching, feeding, worrying so much that on Saturday or Sunday, I would just have to call my girlfriend and get out for a while.... I work as well, and as soon as my butt hits the door, we start feeding, meds, test.....URG! then I feel guilty for being tired.... My gumpy girl (GA) had high blood pressure, and was crf..... we were on 8 meds total in 12 hours with 3 back up meds....she was sooo lost, seizures (mommy watching like a hawk), stroke like symptoms (mommy watching like a hawk), then finally not eating, not wanting meds, vet visits 3 or more times a week, she was getting worse and worse.....IT WAS TIME :cry: . She and we tried soo hard for her and I just felt terrible when I would get tired or grumpy about it... Meanwhile my Sugar Bean was getting insulin, mommy learning how to shoot, test and feed different food.

Hang in there, it will get better...... and yes, you will be back later...cuz that is what we beans do for our furry family!! After all, we do love them just as unconditionally as they do us! ;-) Even the ones that have gone to the Bridge to wait for the rest of their family :sad:
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Dear Jesse's Mom,

I can soooo remember this feeling.
Fear.
Failure.
Not smart enuf....too much to understand....
And my Tom was not even difficult to test....so I can just imagine throwing that into the mix.

And here I am, 4+ years later.
A teacher of sorts. I love to welcome the newbie's.
Feeling that the nightmare was a blessing in disguise.

I love the notion that Everything is hard...until it gets easy.
The sense of growth, of accomplishment.
Of love.
Of community.

We ALL understand how you feel dear one. We really really do.
And if there is more to it, than just tell us. We WANT to know. If you want to share with us.
If you are worried about other issue's in your life....well, you have a sugar cat now, that means you are family. You were from your first post.
You can tell us anything you want.
We WANT to lend a hand. We WANT TO!

Do whatever you need to do dear one, and when you want to share with us your worries, your hardships, your situations, we are here for you. We will support any and all of your heartfelt decisions. We care.

Hugs,
Lori
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

J's Mom,

Please do tell us more. We can't help if we don't know what's up.

Venita
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Where are you?
If you can post your location, we may have members near by and be able to help.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I would give anything to have my angel Maverick back for one day. Everything was worth it.

I did have a very hard time when he had his feeding tube 2.5 years ago. He had it for ten weeks and I was emotionally spent. I went broke. My husband wasn't talking to me. And I went to my doctor crying that I was having a hard time coping. She told me to take 1/2 hour every day just for me. I took up biking outdoors. The assisted feeding group kept my feet on the ground, emotionally lifted me up and things worked out.

With this group behind me diabetes was manageable. It is an amazing place.

Sending hugs to you.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I thank you all for words of encouragement. Actually, this is one example of the frustration I feel. Here it is almost noon on a summer day, I am off, and where am I? on my computer inside. It is almost Aug, and I haven't been anywhere, not even a day trip. I have to leave to run errands, go to the bank, buy more cat food, etc. And please don't tell me that I'm feeling sorry for myself, because I know how it sounds. Truth is, I'm feeling sorry for Jessie, too. And her brother, who is acting out so he can get more of my attention. It's not easy when you're the only one, ya know?

It all just reached a peak yesterday when I had to battle with her to get a pre-shot number, because her numbers have been over 300, and I needed to know if maybe the Lantus could be losing its potency. After all that, when I gave her her shot, she bolted and it ended up on her fur. So, the whole fight was for nothing, she ended up with no insulin, and I still don't know what's going on.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

if you post where you are located, maybe someone is near enough to come and help and maybe watch your babies so you can have a few hours of free time. they may be able to help with some pointers after evaluating the situation. i have 8 cats. 6 are mine with one being diabetic and 2 are fosters and both are diabetic. I am also watching debs spot while she is away and he is diabetic and my sisters little corgi while she is away with her 2 greyhounds. a lot to juggle for sure but a few deep breaths and I get through it.
there has to be someone near that can lend a hand til things become a functional schedule with time for yourself. and yes, I manage down time with all I have going on here.
hugs and hang in there. things will work out
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

You know what Jesse's Mom,
If I were you....and I am a baaaaad girl so there!, but if I were you I would just put down the dry crack, forget the diabetes for a day, and run free. Go! Live! Swim, Visit, Picnic, do whatever it is you want to do and FORGET DIRE BEASTIES.....how much could it hurt?
Now you all who may blast me for being a bad mom.....no one loves Tomtom like this mommy right here, but I learned along time ago that you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST in order to save the kiddies (That is an airplane thing)
Even mom's of hooman kids need to GET AWAY sometimes.
My mom (not the perfect example of motherhood) once told my dad to do whatever it takes, she was either leaving him and us...or taking a 5 day trip without US...and off to Aruba she flew. hmmmmmm.....
She needed it.
We were a handful and she was not the most dedicated mom in the world either.

But Jesse's mom,

You are putting your own handcuffs on. We tend to do that. We don't HAVE to. They will not only survive it, they will continue to thrive.

Go! You have my blessing.

Now the rest of you can flame me. :-D
Lori
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I read a Maya Angelo book once, called " Wouldn't take nothin for my Journey now"
Where in little vignettes she tell of life experiences that seemed unhappy at the time..and well, ya know, she would'nt take nothin for her journey now.

She declared in one story the need to own a day....turn off the phone, tell everyone you are GONE, prepare the night before and come day....just leave. have no plans. go somewhere or to many places....don't stay anywhere too long. meander, stroll, watch.
Miraculously she found when she took one of these days....the world had continued on without her!?!
AND certain problems that had besieged her had somehow worked themselves out.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I agree totally Lor. I do that myself sometime. dam it to hell for a day and get back on track the next day. they do survive. now that is saying (unless your cat is prone to ketones). I have shot reduced doses late cause I wanted to be someplace or could not get back and just went back to regular programming the next day. sometimes it is a few days of catch up on the numbers. but it works out in the end.
you are handcuffing yourself. unlock those cuffs and throw away the keys
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Dian, I love when you call me Lor....it is SOOOO East Coast. No one here calls me Lor,,,,,but that was the only name I knew growing up in NY. Even on fb the friends in ny call me Lor, it's like east coasters can't be bothered by 2 syllables when one will get the point across. :lol:
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Dear Jessie's mom, and of course, you too, sweet Jessie and your brother taking notes,

I confess I've been reluctant to respond to your quandary because I did years ago to a similar post and it didn't turn out well at all... People here assured me it wasn't because of anything I said. They told me this cat's mom was going to do what she was going to do. And, she sadly did. I don't remember her name; but, I remember her cat's name was Smokey...


All I'm going to say, dear Jessie's mom, is that there can be such joy dancing with a sugar cat. Yes, even in spite of the fur shots and the head banging and living life in 12-hour increments... Much life and love can be lived and shared...

It doesn't mean you can't take a day off. It doesn't mean you can't be you. It doesn't mean Jessie isn't still your cat. She's just extra sweet is all.

I'm in northeastern NJ if that's close to you. I'd be happy to help you with Jessie and her brother to give you a break and a hug. If that's not close to you, perhaps someone else here is. I'm guessing we've all probably needed break every now and then... And, a hug...


Love and encouraging hugs for you all,
Deb and Nikki -- and, Giz, who taught me volumes about dancing...
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Thought I would come back in and try to find out what is going on with Jessie. Again, I appreciate the encouragement from everyone. I was feeling like we were getting the hang of this a bit (with the testing), but her numbers were going up. Not sure why. So I began to wonder if maybe the Lantus was losing its potency. She has been on it for about 5 weeks, well close to 6 weeks now. So, yesterday, I realized that I would need to do a preshot blood check, which I don't always do in the morning. Please don't throw things at me, lol. She put up such a fight, and sometimes I just throw my hands up and give it up. Just feed her, and give her shot. But, I needed to know. It took until about 11:00 to get a morning blood test from her- 274. I gave her food, and when I went to shoot, she bolted, and you guessed it, a fur shot. After all that struggle. She is such a pistol! So now her 12-hour schedule is messed up, and I have to get her back to 7a-7p.
So, here we are today. Her AMPS-213! I wasn't even sure if I should shoot, because a few days ago it was 303. Well, I did. She is not on a set feeding schedule. She is so skinny, so I give her many small portions. I also have been cooking chicken and ground turkey for her. I tested her at +4 and she was 298.
Also, just a couple of days ago, I thought she was looking pretty good, her coat seemed softer, and she was chasing soap bubbles through the kitchen. Today? No energy, not purring much, just so skinny. Am I just a paranoid, nervous new mom?
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

OK, you shot at 213 and at +4 she was at 298, right? How much did she eat in that time frame, and how much was the dose?

Yes, you are a nervous new mom. ;-) Just like I was a nervous dad. I am so lucky Bob was never a pistol. I can't remember him ever bolting. He did squirm away once in the middle of a sub-q 100ccs fluids operation, and that freaked me out. As for her weight, how does her current weight compare to what she weighed before she got sick, and compared to what she weighed on the day she was diagnosed with diabetes? Has she continued to lose weight or is about where she was at that time?

Carl
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I feed my cat at shot time time. He associates the pre-shot test and insulin shots with FOOD! Right now, his main treat for letting me take his blood sugar is Beechnut baby food (chicken, or Turkey, or Beef, all zero carbs) which he loves. He gets a snack mid-afternoon but I try to be sure he is hungry enough to be very cooperative at pre-shot time.

Lana
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

I think she is skinnier now than when she was diagnosed, though her weight loss was one of the signs that something was going on. She is a non-transportable kitty, and by that I mean no way will anyone be able to get her near a carrier. I knew this when her previous owner brought her to me.
So I prayed she would stay healthy for a very long time.
She gets .5 unit, 2x. How much did she eat? I don't know how to estimate that, because I gave her some ground turkey that I cooked for her, and she had some Friskies pate.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Jessie's mom said:
I think she is skinnier now than when she was diagnosed, though her weight loss was one of the signs that something was going on. She is a non-transportable kitty, and by that I mean no way will anyone be able to get her near a carrier. I knew this when her previous owner brought her to me.
So I prayed she would stay healthy for a very long time.
She gets .5 unit, 2x. How much did she eat? I don't know how to estimate that, because I gave her some ground turkey that I cooked for her, and she had some Friskies pate.

The bright side (there's always one!) - non-transportable makes her the ideal candidate for home testing!
When I asked about the food she's had, I was trying to determine how much eating would effect what the insulin is doing during this cycle. (Trying to figure out why at +4 she was up instead of down).

Have you done a spreadsheet, or do you just keep a log like I do? I guess I'm trying to understand if you have determined when she usually reaches nadir, and how low does she go.
What I find encouraging is her numbers, period. In the "2s" is great. Even the low 3s. At 5 or 6 weeks in, I was still hitting the low 400s with Bob. When he improved, it was all of a sudden and rapidly, and the same thing could happen for you and Scamper. And Bob was getting 6 or 7 units a day, unlike Scamper, who you have been able to keep on a nice low dose.

I know that 6 weeks has seemed like an eternity for you. I felt the same way. I also felt like giving up and couldn't understand why bob wasn't getting better. The 5 or 6 week mark was right about the time I joined FDMB. 5 or 6 weeks later, everything has turned around and Bob is doing amazingly well. I suppose what I'm trying to tell you is that you could well find yourself in another month or two looking back on your recent threads and thinking "omg, I have gone from THAT to THIS, and can't believe I ever felt that way". All I can really suggest is that you take this in baby steps. One day at a time. Try to not let it consume you. Spend time with Scamper and love him like there is no tomorrow. But also try to put some distance between you and his plight when you find yourself at the "I'm going crazy and can't deal with this" point.
Try to post what data you can each day, and then move away from the keyboard if you need to. Let people look at Scamper's data, and come back later to see what people think.
If you need an immediate "what do I do with this?" answer, somebody will be here to give it to you. But if not, and you just want to see what people think, then post, sign-off, give it a few hours, and check back in. Try to anyway. This place is kinda addictive :smile:

Carl in SC
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Awww, Carl, I love your informative post, but it made me laugh, because I'm Jessie's mom.
If it is OK I would like to continue posting under this subject line, to keep everything in one place.
I tested this morning, and AMPS was 302, +2 was 282.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Bandit used to fight me in the very beginning--but my vet shared a technique with me that worked like a charm.

Get a basket or a dishpan that is slightly bigger than Jesse, and line the bottom with a soft fleece blanket. You can spray some feliway in it if you have some. Test Jesse in the basket at every shot.

After you put her in the basket, tuck her in tight with another fleece blanket with just her head free so she can't fight and bolt on you. Get the test, stop the bleeding by holding your tissue or cotton pad with pressure for 20 seconds, and rub a tiny bit of antibiotic ointment + pain relief over the test site. The antibiotic ointment was very important for Bandit, because it stopped the pain association for him. Then give Jesse a treat (or get her injection and food ready if it's shot time).

The turning point when Bandit stopped fighting me was when I got this routine down solid, and I resolved to myself that we were getting that test no matter how much he fought me, whether he hated me for it or not. And you know what? Once I had that attitude he just resigned himself to the testing and let me do it. He's so calm with it now that I don't even have to put him in his basket anymore (which became his favorite napping place btw, because he ended up associating it more with TREATS! then tests). Make sure she knows YOU are in charge and fighting you at test time won't change anything.

So hang in there! It WILL get easier. I can't think of a single person here with a difficult cat that didn't have the cat tolerate the testing eventually. Jesse won't hate you! Once you get a routine down where you're getting the test every time whether she fights you or not, she'll resign herself to the tests and start associating them with treats. After a little while too her ears will become less sensitive to the pokes the more you do them.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Oops!
Well other than her name the rest of the post made sense, right? Ive been in too many threads at the same time and they all ran together!
My apologies, especially to sweet Jessie, who is probably sitting there saying " no mom don't listen to him...the dummy doesn't even know my name!!!"
Carl in SC
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Julia, thank you for your suggestions. I recently bought the pain relieving gel, and I do think it helps. And I found a treat she likes a lot. A small amount of turkey lunchmeat. It's funny but she has started curling up in a cardboard box from the grocery store, so I think I will put something soft in there and try that in the morning.
Carl, lol, we won't tell Jessie you got her mixed up with some other kitty. She likes to think she is the queen, and it might hurt her feelings. I appreciated all the encouragement and I hope that Jessie does as well as Bob.
So, what do you think of this? Her +10 was 252!
AMPS 302
+2 282
+10 252
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Hee Hee...good luck with the cardboard box.

I find that as soon as I make it 'better'...they no longer want to lay in it !!!
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Jessie's mom said:
Julia, thank you for your suggestions. I recently bought the pain relieving gel, and I do think it helps. And I found a treat she likes a lot. A small amount of turkey lunchmeat. It's funny but she has started curling up in a cardboard box from the grocery store, so I think I will put something soft in there and try that in the morning.
Carl, lol, we won't tell Jessie you got her mixed up with some other kitty. She likes to think she is the queen, and it might hurt her feelings. I appreciated all the encouragement and I hope that Jessie does as well as Bob.
So, what do you think of this? Her +10 was 252!
AMPS 302
+2 282
+10 252

That was on a .5 dose, correct? You want to make sure and test her, maybe even at +11 and then at +12 to make sure she's rising before the nighttime dose. I'd bet she is, and that her nadir was somewhere in the middle like it's supposed to be. Incredible that you're getting those mid 250s and real low 300 on that dose. I envy you! It took 3 or 4 units to get Bob that low consistantly. It'll be awesome if her PMPS is right around or even lower than the AMPS.
I too hope the box idea works. Bob lives for boxes (and shrimp of course), and no matter how small, if there's a box on the floor, at least part of him is gettin in it! He even has taken to napping in the cat carrier he goes to the vet in if I leave it in the house with the door open.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Yes, .5. Our schedule is normally around 7a,7p. But she messed that up with her feisty behavior on Friday. I have to get her back on track by Tues morning.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Jessie's +12, (which is really her PMPS, isn't it?) is 313.
So she got another treat, some food, and her normal dose of .5, and I told her what a good girl she's been. ha ha
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Good! She pretty much ended the day where she started. She didn't seem to "curve" much, but she's rising when she's supposed to be. If you can, check her a couple more times till bedtime, or in any event, post her morning numbers.

Carl
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

so Jessie is a puker this morning. She woke me up early to be fed, which I did, but then went bed to snoozing. When I got up I noticed a big puddle on the floor,tested her and her AMPS was 285. I did not give her shot, but gave her some yogurt instead. She loves it.
Which brings me to this question:
What should I do when she pukes? Shoot or no?
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

You shouldn't shoot unless the cat has eaten--it can lead to a hypo incident otherwise.

That said, is the puking common or occasional? Bandit pukes every now and then because he eats his wet food too fast. Because I shoot while he's eating, if he pukes I don't catch it until after he's had his insulin. So I just wait a half hour or so and feed him some more food, more slowly in smaller increments.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Julia, Jessie pukes after eating every other day or so. Actually, it's less than when she was eating dry. Just part of her charm, I guess.
Her +2 was 397, a big jump! Didn't think a little yogurt would increase it that much. But I went ahead and gave her a normal dose. She turned all wild cat out for the kill on me, and bit me, but I got it in her!
And now I'm off for the more pleasant aspect of today- hanging border in the BR.
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Glad you are still posting :mrgreen: Did her blood work that you had done indicate any thyroid or other issues by chance?

Someone on the lantus board realized their yoghurt had sugar in it - just a heads up :lol:
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

Hi Karrie,
No problems with her thyroid. And about the yogurt, I never thought of that. It is Activia, and I gave her about a tablespoon, but she didn't finish it.
I watched your vid of Maverick talking. Reminds me of my Cleo, a Maine Coon I had about 7 years ago. Another spitfire! Cleo and Jessie would have never made it in the same house.
 
Julia, I checked that out. Do you know of any other probiotic that is available that may be used? Finances are very tight right now.
 
Have you been able to get her to keep any food down since the yogurt?
How early is it?
Carl
 
Yes, she has eaten twice since the yogurt. Some ground turkey, and about 1/2 can of friskies. It is only about 1 hr. early now.
 
I'm just taking a guess here, someone will correct me if I'm wrong (I hope)...AND, I'm not a lantus user. It has a she or something, but I think the concept is if you are going to shoot early you increas your dose, not by much, and if you are shooting late, you would decrease it, again, not by much.
Not sure if that holds true for the lantus though.
sorry I couldn't be more help.
 
I believe that's right. If early, slight increase (since it'll be a little more than 12 hours till the next dose), and if late, a bit light since it'll be less than 12 till the next shot.
At this point, most of that "1 hour early" is gone, so hopefully she decided already. If not, I don't think just a few minutes either way is going to affect the dosage.

Carl
 
Re: I don't know if I can do this anymore

carlinsc said:
I too hope the box idea works. Bob lives for boxes (and shrimp of course), and no matter how small, if there's a box on the floor, at least part of him is gettin in it! He even has taken to napping in the cat carrier he goes to the vet in if I leave it in the house with the door open.
I hope the box idea worked for you...

Bob: "There is not a box yet made that I cannot fit into! I love Fancy Feast."
bobinabox.jpg


Carl.
 
carlinsc said:
I believe that's right. If early, slight increase (since it'll be a little more than 12 hours till the next dose), and if late, a bit light since it'll be less than 12 till the next shot.
At this point, most of that "1 hour early" is gone, so hopefully she decided already. If not, I don't think just a few minutes either way is going to affect the dosage.

Carl


Lantus works best with consistent doses. If you're late with a shot (like I was on Sunday) you get back on schedule by slowly moving the shot time back by 15 minutes at each shot. So since I shot an hour late Sunday morning at 8am, then I shot the same dose at 745pm that night, then 7:30am yesterday morning, then 715pm last night, and then our normal time of 7am this morning.

As for the probiotic question, I do know that there are people on the boards that get their priobiotics at health food stores and the like, and then break open the capsules and mix a portion in the food. However, I haven't done this so I can't give you a recommendation for a type or dose. Maybe you could start a new thread about probiotics and see what people say? I do know that plain Greek yogurt shouldn't have any sugar, but I think the probiotic would probably be more effective.
 
I searched a little and I did find this post: http://felinediabetes.com/FDMB/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=18243&p=180268&hilit=probiotic#p180268

I do remember back when I was considering using a health store probiotic another member who used them told me she gave a third of a capsule daily in food. I'm going to guess that anything that is straight up acidophilus should be ok, like this one: http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/store/en/browse/sku_detail.jsp?id=NN-2001. Just read the label very CAREFULLY to make sure there aren't any other ingredients. The ingredients should contain nothing but probiotics.

I want to repeat though that I don't have experience giving a health store probiotic, so I would feel better if you started a new post for advice on that.
 
Thanks Julia, will try that soon.
Jessie's AMPS was 276, and I had not left food out all night. But, once again, I blew it by landing a fur shot.
 
The "fur shots" are a result of Jessie squirming and moving right at the critical moment right? Or is she just fighting it the whole time? Does she resist the testing too?
I don't know if you've tried this or not, but here's what always worked for me.
Sitting on the floor with my legs wrapped around Bob, but not so he feels restrained, just cozy. Scruff with the left hand, tent with the left thumb and forefinger. Syringe right next to my right leg. Soft encouraging words, a scratch on the chin till I hear purring.... pick up the syringe, find the "tent spot" with my right forefinger, and bam, quick in, quick on the plunger, pull out the needle, and all done. Usually without his little chin even coming up from its resting point on the inside of my left knee. Quick pet and scratch on the top of the head, and straight to the snack stash. Bob got to the point whenever he hears me unzip the storage case for the meter (after I'd already drawn up the dose into the syringe), that he came up to me purring and as soon as I sat on the floor, he came over and laid down between my legs.

I always used u40 1/2 29 gauge syringes.

Hope this might help,
Carl

edit: I use the same technique for the sub-q fluids and manage to keep him from resisting much for the two minutes or so that he's got a harpoon sticking out of his back. I said the shot thing "always" worked, which is a little inaccurate. I had to change the shot location during the two month journey, but that's a story for another day. Same technique, just a different location.
 
I think I'm going to tell her about Bob's cooperation, but I don't want her to feel I am comparing her to someone else. lol! Yes, the fur shots happen more than I like to admit. I may need to change the injection site. As soon as I touch her to tent, she starts her jackrabbit routine.
I'd also like to share that her PMPS was 234!
 
Your PMPS number is pretty good, considering that you think that you might have done a fur shot occasionally. And you are getting in quite a few tests. Great!

My cat started to pull away from shots and so I have begun sort of vibrating the tent - as though I'm shivering a bit. Then when I insert the needle and the insulin, he doesn't seem to notice. Don't know if that might be of any help to you.
 
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