Hello again, and questioning QofLife

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Sandra&Barney(GA)

Member Since 2009
:idea: Alexander's BGs 297 this a.m., no insulin since the first and only one at the vets day after Christmas.It has been a stressful time since then.At vets, 12/24, 12/25(ER VET) 12/26 daycare my vet, 12.27(ditto)then a blur, New Years Eve(vomiting, ER vet overnite) picked him up New Years day at 4 pm,He was in oxygen, IV a/b, licking at his food.Put him on Mirtizipine Friday.He stopped eating.ARGGHHHH.Back on cyproheptadine, hand feeding(squeezy baby plastic for a toddler to hold, THEY ARE GREAT)

The problem, which came first the chicken or the egg?The heartworm causing heart thickening, issue with his lungs, cloudy, his liver has some issues, his non eating due to a/b or something else?No hard and fast dx's.To put him under sedation, he is at a risk(you know what that means) and they are suggesting at the ER a bronchcostopy (SP?) and while under a feeding tube inserted.My vet says feeding tube(my request) as a last resort, and the ER vets would do it and insert the feeding tube at that time(Risky business for Alexander)

He walks maybe 2 feet and lays down.Age unknown, but is showing his age as a heavy coat to carry.OH and throw in the DB.Is it worth all the stress to him and his bean?He still has no interest in food, a whole cypro this a.m. and barely licking at baby meat or FF.

IF he has the endoscopy and something not good is found......and the chicken and egg ???.....if nothing is found, we are back to square one.My heart is of two extremes.Asked my vet what she would do, and she played it safe.....and as Cheryl from England said when I was deliberating Barney's quality of life, her husband said, just have courage if only for one hour.Last week I looked at him, BEFORE the ER overnite, and my heart broke, but I didn't have the courage to decide what to do or rather when to do it. :idea: :?:
 
This is such a hard choice, although we are so fortunate that we can give this gift to our animals. I can just share my story. I have had two cats put to sleep. Both were in their late teens and I felt their quality of life was gone. One just got completely confused and was struggling to negotiate his days at all -he was clearly miserable.. The other was a cat who lived for meals and when he stopped eating, I knew it was time. I sat with them while the vet administered the shot, loved them and told them what wonderful friends they had been. I was so sad, but I felt I had done the right, kind thing.

No one can give you the answer, but yes, quality of life must be considered. How is he feeling? If you think he may be able to come back and enjoy life, that is one answer. If you think he is scared and confused and miserable, that is another. But regardless, your decision will be the right one, because it will be made out of love.
 
Thank you for your insightful response.He isn't miserable, but he isn't himself.He sleeps a lot, but has no interest in food at all.Always a finicky eater but had his favorites.His eating has gone downhill over the past few months.I know it is my decision, I love him so much.There isn't just diabetes.Going to check his respiration rate, he sounds like it has escalated.They told me about an app you can download (for dogs of course, LOL).To be continued.
 
Sadly there is no hard and fast rule on this. Nor can anyone TELL you what to do. Yes, I know it would be make it so much easier to give that decision over to someone else. Believe me, I know. Unfortunately, that just can't happen. We are so good at advocating for our animals, questioning everyone and everything and not allowing others to tell us what to do, and here we are on a precipice wanting just that.

The link Larry provided can help you intellectually decide, but it's your heart that needs to make this decision. I believe that if you look closely at your pet, talk to him and ask him what he wants and needs, somehow there will be a sign that he will let you know.

Recently, I was faced with just that decision regarding Maui (as you can see in my signature line), I learned after the fact that I really had no choice, but at the time, I never heard of it, nor knew anything about it. I had to rely on what the vet was telling me and after I made the choice, holding her for the last time, seeing her struggle and in pain, I knew I made the right and only choice.

It's never easy and I guess that is why we are put in this position as caretaker, but if you stop, quiet your thinking, hold your pet and just feel. The answer will come.

And no matter what, please try not to feel guilty. I know easier said than done.
 
To all who have posted with wisdom and love, thank you.Am still struggling with Alexander and when, and if, and, and, and......His BG's were 176 at 8pm last nite, and 244 at 8 am this morning.He ate a little baby meat on his own, got some into him with the squeezy toddler plastic bag, and his meds, cipro 1/2, cosequin,and pepcid.Then, got the clavamox down pretty quick for him, only 3 tries, covered with pill pocket and light butter.He just backed away from the baby meat, new jar.Put a call into the cardiologist(ah, my cat is one up on me, no cardiologist for me YET) as breathing rate elevated from 44 to 60=64, and to discuss the bronchostophy (sp).Don't want to go there, risky to begin with.Will check out the website Larry posted.My heart is heavy.
 
His quality of life is not what it was

Pain, though not obvious, who knows.I only know my heart just broke.Called him out of the carrier(inside a BIG nylon dog home) and he didn't want to come.Got him out,talked to him, put him down and he walked 6-8 inches, and laid down.This is not Alexander. He is tired, so tired.Rocked him in the chair and talked again to him.Put him down, walked 6-8 inches again, and laid down.He is staying put.Called my vet, waiting for her to call back, she is with a patient.It is time, he has so many different issues, former heartworm, heart and lung issues, not a candidate for sedation to scope his bronchial tubes out and what if?Selfish me, exhausted emotionally, but you know what...........NOT half as much as Alexander is exhausted emotionally and physically.

You know, I read the website Larry posted, and the checkmarks were iffy .But you know what, Hillary?, you are SO right.Alexander has let me know just by showing me he isn't interested in playing, walking, eating......only staying in the carrier inside the dog house.He is still in the same spot on the floor where I left him 10 minutes ago.Just breathing in and out, not venturing forth.Thank you again.Will post again, after I speak to my vet.
 
I'll share Sydney's story - she was my very first cat ever. Without going into history and details, I knew it was time:

Day 1 - took her to vet cause she stopped eating, was vomiting, etc,
Day 2 - ate a little, getting more lethargic, waiting on test results, etc
Day 3 - put carrier next to her and she walked right in and laid down

That was how I knew, most cats will not willingly go into the pet transporter. I knew she was ready and already had scheduled vet appt for more tests - got there and vet asked are we doing xrays, I said, no I don't think so, please look at her. And vet confirmed what she told me and I knew in my heart.

I think your decision is made. No more agonizing over what to do, how to treat, etc. He is ready and it is time to say goodbye.

Please make sure that you send him on his way with a snot and tear halo! It's what all the well loved kitties wear when traveling to the bridge.

I am very sorry and wish Alexander peaceful journey. Fly free sweet boy. You will soon be free from pain.
 
One thing I would try is taking him off Clavamox. I can share with you that when Izzy was on clavamox she would get sick and go off her food. I syringe fed and gave mirtazapine and pepcid and it was was still a struggle. Once I got her on Zenequin she bounced back. She could not tolerate Clavamox or The other popular one I can't remember the name of at the moment.

That being said.... The Q of question is one we all struggle with. Having just sent Izzy to to the bridge on 1/3 I understand your struggle. I wish I had words of wisdom for you in making that choice.

I knew Izzy was ready and and she was having breathing difficulty. I also had had a vet who brought me back from considering treatment options that he knew she couldn't survive. I also could cool not bear the though of her crashing at home and having to be set free at the ER by strangers rather than at her clinic where she she could be with me and her vet who has lovingly cared for her through many near deaths these past 4 years.

It's such a personal thing between your heart and theirs. Just know we all empathize with you.
 
Alexander(GA)

It is over and truthfully I no longer feel guilt.If you could have seen Alexander the past few weeks, his fur was mangy, scruffy and dry looking.Today he was just a shell of a cat, no energy or joy.It was time.

Once he got the sedation shot he fell asleep in 5/10 minutes.Then the final shot and he no longer suffered.My vet talked to me, looking at options and to be sure(Ithink) I was truly sure of going through with it.

The miracle is this, and I am not exaggerating one iota.After the sedation and before the final shot, his fur was like silk, smooth, glossy and brighter in color.I stayed with him a bit, patting his whole body and he was just magnificent.

By chance my daughter(who put me wise to FDMB in 1999, Linda and Punkin(GA) called shortly after I got home.She knew of his past couple weeks health issues.She asked how my baby was doing, sounding upbeat and caring.We talked and after a bit, I told her about his fur and how magnificent it was.I asked her how that happens?And she gave me a gift, by saying that was Alexander letting you know he is at peace.

May God surround each bean and furbaby, here and gone, with his peace.

Run like the wind at the bridge Alexander, feel the sunshine and suffer no more.So many GA's welcome you home.

Thank you all for sharing my pain and joy.
Sandra and Barney(GA) Samantha(GA) Nicholas(GA) and Alexander(GA)
 
So sorry for your loss. You know you did the right thing for that sweet baby. Fly free sweet Alexander!
 
This is hard, hard for you but you made things easier for him - the definition of love, in my opinion. I hope you can remember what a lovely life he had - warm house, good place to sleep, delicious food, a family who loved him, lots of pets and purrs. So few cats get a life like this. He had to know he was one lucky cat. One day soon you'll find yourself remembering something funny he did or how content he seemed and I hope you'll be able to smile.
 
Yes, fly free sweet Alexander. My heart breaks for you, but you are surrounded by many comforting arms here. Alexander was truly a special kitty with a mom like you. Just know that he loved you too.
 
ah sandra. bless you for being strong and listening to your cat. what a gift you gave.
I so know the pain of loosing and the difficulty in making that decision.
lost wheezr move and twinkie dec1. I have no clue what happened to them. they went downhill so fast.
bless you and hugs
 
Lighting a ring of candles, in memory of your beloved Alexander.
 

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