does anyone remember the 'how to pill a cat' funny post?

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if you have it somewhere in your archives or know how to find it please let me know.
and even more importantly,,,dr. lisa took offense to it and wrote something, perhaps another method?, and i would REALLY like to reread that.
it was all part of the same thread.
judy and squamee are having a really hard time lately with her pilling...cat is sick and tired of it.
angry(2)_cat
 
How to give a cat a pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
 
Does anyone here get the Old Farmer's Almanac? A couple years back there was a great one about just that - The 12 Steps to Giving Your Cat a Pill. could that be what it was? I have a copy.
 
lori and tom said:
dr. lisa took offense to it
Click to expand...

Correct. I take offense to that 'joke' and see nothing funny about it. What *I* see is a panicked/scared cat with a human trying to cram a dry pill down its throat.

I just recently had to deal with a litter of kittens who suffered TREMENDOUSLY from dry pilling clindamycin. A couple died and the others may be permanently scared from the esophagitis and ensuing strictures. All because Man just can't wrap their brain around the fact that cramming a dry pill down an animal's throat is just not terribly humane - or smart.

I know that some humans will do this to themselves (take pills with no fluids - a really dumb choice...but *their* choice..nobody is holding them down) but see my Pilling Cats article at catinfo.org for comments from two of them. One of them is a very well-known VIN consultant. The other lady said that giving birth to her 3 children was less painful than the esophagitis that she suffered when not taking enough liquids with pills. She ended up in the emergency room in excruciating pain.

Some cats take to pilling just fine but no matter how they deal with it, all pills need to be 'chased' immediately with food or ~4-6 cc of water. Capsules are worse than pills for getting stuck.

Also, coating with butter is not the answer for speeding up transit time into the stomach.

So....I, again, see no humor in that 'joke'. I just see a very scared animal.

I will always opt for Pill Pockets (a god-send for many cases) or liquid meds...although there are some cats that just spit out any liquid..and fight like crazy. *Some* cats are better off being pilled...as long as it is done gently and with water or food chasers.
 
Blue said:
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Click to expand...

How anyone would think this is funny is beyond me. Maybe I have just seen too much animal abuse in my day. Yes...I admit...I am very sensitive to how people treat animals and reading things like this just makes me want to cry.
 
Dr. Lisa I'm so sorry I missed you! I only remembered you being turned off by it becuase I thought at the same time you might have offered other suggestions. We have a kitty in psi that is starting to really resent taking his pills. Now I forgot their name. I will be back with it in case you have any feedback for her...she was doing the pill pockets and everything great for awhile.
Lori

eta, it's judy and squamee. if you have any idea's. that was all i meant, not that i did'nt understand your feelings on the subject. i would sooner die than make any cat afraid and stressed...i think all of us are that way.
 
Pill Pockets...

Never use a whole one. Only use enough to wrap around the pill.

Don't get any powder from a split pill on the outside of the PP.

Try rolling the PP in FortiFlora or parmesan cheese.

Go to compounded flavored liquids.
 
thank you for your input and i'll pass it on. and never think i would dis you or your opinions on the board....or anywhere for that matter.
 
ok dr. lisa, i think i realize why this seems so funny if you will indulge me. the cat ALWAYS wins, the hooman ALWAYS is worse for the wear.
our friend judy was so excited that she tried your parmasan idea and got the pill down...YAY, then 10 min. later the cat threw up..no food at all...just the pill.
now this is sad....but once again THE CAT ALWAYS WINS!!!!!!
 
lori and tom said:
then 10 min. later the cat threw up..no food at all...just the pill.
Click to expand...

Dang. The cat must have NO Italian heritage.

Time to head for a compounded liquid in triple fish flavor....or just chicken flavor...or pork... if the medication is not too bitter. Some cats hate fish.

But...seriously....I would try the Parmesan again. There is no reason to run from something just because it did not work one time.
 
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