Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it ...

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nancy and payne

nancy and payne

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My cat Payne was Dx Oct. 11 and it has been a very rocky ride! she almost died twice with
DKA and we fight ketones and regulation still. Yet she is doing really well but what have I done
to my other precious girl? Because we wanted to do everything possible for Payne, we changed
all the other cats routines/lives also.

When I realized how bad the dry was, I slowly started to change everyone from it and only had
one hold out, my sweet Kerry. Kerry is four and has always been? well endowed. I have had her
and her brother since they were 2 days old .... she was a chunky kitten. Little did I realize the
dry was making it so much worse. (I was under the stupid assumption canned added weight)

Kerry lives with three other cats in my office downstairs, with an enclosed patio and birds
outside all day. When I transitioned over to canned I would feed Kerry individually with wet
underneath, sprinkled with dry. It took awhile but she came over to the big bowl of canned and
I thought we were okay.

Because of the holidays I have not been working in the mornings but would end up the day
working for a few hours in the office, I never realized she had quit eating ......
Monday evening she didn't
look right and I tried to get her to eat but could not. I took her to Davis yesterday and she
has a fatty liver and is really sick. The only medicine is food and almost impossible to get
enough into her to heal her liver, without the tube. I feel soooo guilty! I'm not blaming the
canned food, which I totally get but how did I not notice she wasn't eating?? long enough to
get this sick?

I need your prayers because I barely learned blood and needles, which I still hate! how am
I going to learn to keep Kerry alive? I feel like such a bad Mom.
Nancy and Payne
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Oh, Nancy, I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Kerry. You and she will be in my thoughts.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Yes, monitoring eating in a multi-cat household is not easy. All mine diabetics get fed separately so I can monitor how much they eat. Also, it is very easy to overlook the condition of a "well" kitty when your are dealing with a "sick" kitty. We all learn by our mistakes.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Take heart. Read this excellent article by Dr. Lisa:

http://catinfo.org/?link=feedingtubes

She lost weight too fast and that is the cause of the Fatty Liver.

Get yourself a scale (baby scale or postal scale) and weigh each of
your cats monthly. That way you will know what is going on.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Please don't blame yourself. Cats are really good at hiding their symptoms until they're super sick. You were doing all the right stuff, it's not your fault she didn't eat! I'll keep you both in my prayers.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Nancy, FL can happen almost overnight if a "chunky" kitty stops eating for one reason or another. Getting the feeding tube in her is the most important thing and they can turn around as long as that liver gets what it needs. As for Payne, sounds like Mishka when I adopted her. Those first 3 months were pure hell with DKA. Home on a Fri. and back in on a Mon., etc. I do watch her closely and if Mishka doesn't want to eat. she goes immediately to the vet. Been over 7 years now and out of my 5 diabetics. she is the only one to ever have ketones......with good numbers to boot. Hope your baby is home soon with you.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Hope your baby is home soon too! You are doing all you can, and going the extra mile! it is SO hard to recognize things with our kitties. They hide so well from us, they don't want us to worry...
And as mentioned is hard to monitor when you have a sick baby to worry bout... I am going through the same with one of my civvies, I am sure he is not eatting as much as he should..
You are in my prayers and all the best!!
Rest assured, you are not the cause of this!!!
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital getting etube ..

Peopleare praying for you and kitty. We may not post right away but you're in our prayers.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

We are on our way to Davis to pick her up, she died 30 minutes after I got home.
I have too many on the bridge ......
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

You have my deepest sympathies. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

How heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

I am so sorry that is was Kerry's time. So very sorry for your loss.

May you have wonderful memories of her, that bring you comfort...

...'til you meet again.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Nancy, this is so heartbreaking to read and you have my deepest and most heartfelt sympathy. Cats are so good at hiding things from us. She was so young and it makes me wonder if something else wasn't going on. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious Kerry.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Oh Nancy, I am so sorry to hear this. You are such a caring kitty mom and I know Kerry had a good life with you. We do the best we can for our kitties and they know it.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

((((Nancy)))) I'm so sorry..... It's so hard sometimes to keep track of who is doing what, especially when your attention is on a sick one. Please don't blame yourself. I too wonder if something else may have been going on......

We do the best we can and the rest isn't up to us.

Fly free sweet Kerry you have lots of friends at the Bridge
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

(((((Nancy))))) Tears. Fly free, dear Kerry. wings_cat
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Judy & Jake
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Indeed so very sad. I'm so sorry. Kitties are so good at hiding their illness. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

jeanne
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Oh Nancy I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is sometimes to realize something is wrong - one of my civies recently lost 2 lbs before I realized it - picked her up one day and she was light as a feather, and I realized I am so focused on Bix all the time, I didn't even notice something had been wrong with her. I got lucky, but I can easily see how she could have been really sick and I wouldn't have noticed til it was too late.

(((((hugs))))) Fly free sweet Kerry. rb_icon
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Nancy I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet girl. We never know what is going on with them they hide things so well. Sending you Angels and beautiful green light to help easy your hurting heart. Fly free little furangel. Hugssssssssssssssssss Kath
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Oh, Nancy...I am so sorry for your loss. Having lost my seemingly healthy civvie suddenly a few weeks ago, I know the feeling of the blindside and I am so sorry to know you are feeling it right now. I echo others, though... at that age, there may have been something else going on. Just know that you did not do this.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Christie
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

I am so sorry to see this post and know that your baby didn't make it. Please don't blame yourself - it's so hard to know what goes on with these babies - they hide so much from us. There may have been other things causing her to be so ill. it sounds like it all happened very fast.

I'm sending many comforting prayers your way - they leave such holes in our lives and hearts. May you be comforted in the love and memories you shared.

Emmy & Dude (& Mittsi too)
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Most of the tests are back and her liver was deformed, probably always and it seems it
was also infected. For some reason, knowing I didn't do it, doesn't help ..... although it is
a constant reminder for me that yes I need to watch my Payne, I also need to watch the
rest of the hoard better. I always prided myself on how well I knew my animals, from the
birds to the dogs, but especially my kits. Thank you all for your kind words, I am now
dealing with her brother who is lost :(
Nancy and Payne
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Please don't berate yourself. You did your best. I'm sorry and hope you feel better in time.
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Dearest Nancy,

I am so very sorry you lost your precious Kerry...

It's little comfort now; but, she will always know your love and affection. She both takes your love with her and leaves hers behind in a place in your heart that is solely reserved for Kerry... May time and four years of cherished memories help to heal your aching heart...

Please be gentle with yourself, Nancy, okay?

And, please accept my heartfelt condolences and deepest sympathies... I am so truly sorry...











Fly free, precious Kerry! Soar high on your beautiful new wings! Play and run and and order pizza and chase butterflies. You can do this now, precious girl, because you're in a wondrous place that instantly makes you healthy again...

And, please visit your mommy in her dreams. She needs to know your okay now, darling girl... You can do it, just whisper...








Her candle shines brightly...



Much love and countless gentle hugs for you, dearest Nancy, sweet Payne, and Kerry's darling brother...
Deb and Nikki -- and Giz, forever whispering in my heart...






Solace

From the silence of your pain I heard my name
and on the wings of light I have come
to see the sadness in your eyes
that cry without tears.

Can you see me? I am here.

I will always be near you
to calm your shattered heart
and to make you smile at the memories.

Do you feel me, perhaps a soft brush of fur?

You ache to believe it's real
but you are afraid to hope.

You brush away a strand of hair
But it was I, whispering.....

I am only here for but a moment;
The silver thread gently quivers.
I will leave behind my love in a dream.

When you awaken, and without really knowing why
Your heart will know at last
That it is all right, for now
to say good-bye.



Copyright © Lisa Carmel Singer Printed with permission
 
Re: Did I do this to my civvie? in hospital, may not make it

Beautiful poem.........Kerry is flying free no more pain for her. Give her brother extra love and treats he will be ok but like we all do ...he needs time Hugsssss and I am so very very sorry........Kath
 
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