Dealing with bosses who don't understand

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Jen and Jasper

Jen and Jasper

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While perusing all the information and letting my Jasper's diagnosis sink in, I had a thought. My boss is NOT a pet person. It's not that she hates animals or anything, but she has multiple allergies and has never had pets, so she just doesn't understand. I found out how little she understood a couple months ago when I woke up and found my cockatiel sitting fluffed on the bottom of his cage, which, as those who have been owned by birds knows, that's a "get your bird to the vet NOW" sign. So, I called off work to do just that. I found out later from my co-workers that my boss was rolling her eyes and shaking her head about it... and saying that she couldn't believe anyone would call off work to take a bird to the vet. Never mind that Buzzy would probably have died had I gone in to work.

Normally, taking care of Jasper's diabetes shouldn't interfere with work, but I'm sure there will be times I'll have to call off, go in late, leave early, etc, and I'm wondering how well that's going to go over with my boss. I'm planning on talking about it with her when I go back on Thursday (I'm using up some vacation time that I need to use by the end of the month, and now seems to be a good time for it), but again, I doubt she'll understand. Has anybody else had issues with their bosses? (or other people who just don't get it?)

(Sorry if there's already been a thread about this topic and I missed it)
 
I dont have children (at least not the kind with two legs.) My kitties ARE my children. I told my boss that and he understood. I also told him I would make up the time off but he said that wasnt necessary. I think as long as you are willing to make up the time there should be no issue.

jeanne
 
No human kids here either -- all my kids have fur and feathers!

The only problem with my job is that I can't always make up time. I work at a museum teaching workshops, doing demonstrations, and such, and if I call in, they do have to scramble a bit to find somebody to cover. Often, I can just trade days with somebody else, but that's tough to do when it's a last-minute thing. Still, my "fids" are my top priorities, and I'm going to have to make my boss understand that. I'm just not sure how, when she still doesn't understand why I didn't just let my little bird die and "get a new one." :-x
 
I don't have that kind of problem with my bosses. But I do want to let you know that you do have some flexibility in your schedule for taking care of a diabetic cat.

While the 12/12 schedule works best for cats, we all have a life and sometimes have to adjust our cat's schedules. There are times when I have to work late and Ricky gets his shot late. The best suggestion is to avoid giving shots less than 10 hours after the previous shot and test before every shot. My normal shot schedule is 6:30 am/6:30 pm. But if I have to work late, there have been times where he will not get his shot until about 8:30 - 9:00 pm. So in the morning, as long as I test before shooting and his BG is a level I would normally give insulin at, I still will give his dose at his normal time or adjust it by a few minutes.

The important thing is test before every shot.
 
Hi Jen -- sorry, Jasper, professional mom talk,

What a great discussion!

I was lucky when Giz was first diagnosed as some of my bosses were kidimal people... Was late more than once at the beginning -- it was tough getting her to eat back then... Like Jeanne, I was able to either make up the time at the other end, and/or take work home and send it back via email.

Have a few thoughts for you, since that isn't going to be an option. Is it possible for your husband to also learn Jasper's upcoming new routine? Also, is it possible for you to have one of your furry-friendly co-workers lined up to be your work back-up on short notice, just in case? And, does Jasper's vet have work-friendly hours that work around your schedule?

It might not be a problem at all, Jen. You'll be setting up Jasper's schedule around your own. And, after getting comfortable, it only takes an extra couple of minutes twice a day.

Although, not optimum, depending on Jasper and his insulin, work and life do happen, and sometimes shots are given late. Like Lisa mentioned, I never give a shot earlier than +10 (10 hours after the last shot). I just try to get Nikki back on her 12-hour schedule as soon as it's safe and I can. This is why we home test.

Love and continued encouraging hugs,
Deb and Nikki -- and, Giz, forever dancing in my heart...
 
I guess I'm lucky. My supervisor has dogs and understands the pet-Human bond. He's cool with letting me take very last minute time off to take my pets to the vet. Although sometimes I feel that he thinks I'm nuts for having health issue-prone pets :-| When I had my diabetic, I was able to work around injection times. I was in work early and left by mid- afternoon because my cat insisted on a 5am/5pm schedule :roll: Occasionally I would have to give the PM injection late because of some late afternoon meeting or just being swamped with work.
 
I had a previous boss who understood the pet connection, but still I heard there were eye rolls when I was out - I guess the work scene trumped the pet scene in his eyes... whatever. :roll: It is really frustrating, I feel for you. People can take sick leave if their kid is sick and they stay home to take care of that (and no one is going to roll eyes either), but not for pets.

At the risk of being overly cynical I would lean towards lying. (Oh dear, who have I become?) Say your kid is sick, say you are sick, whatever. If you already know she doesn't get it, personally I would not want to put myself in the position of talking it over with her, unless you truly believe that she will be sympathetic and want to work with you. From a professional position, I don't think you are under any obligation to explain where you are when you are not at work, or what you are doing. You need to take off some time for personal reasons, or for "a medical procedure" (not a lie, right? LOL), or whatever.

Also, I'd wait and see how things go before having any big talk. You may find you can manage the diabetes schedule without it interfering with work other than occasionally, and then why put yourself on the line if you don't have to. You might find also that you have a trainable neighbor, or pet sitter maybe, that you could call on as needed to help out if you get stuck at work, etc.

A lot of work is politics, so I'd just think on it before laying your heart on the line to the boss, unless she is someone you really like & trust, and you think your being candid with her will help your position rather than hurt it.
 
Lisa and Witn (GA) said:
I don't have that kind of problem with my bosses. But I do want to let you know that you do have some flexibility in your schedule for taking care of a diabetic cat.
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Oh, good! I'm glad to hear there's some fudge room in the timing. The vet did say, "Every twelve hours, give or take," and I didn't think to ask exactly how much give or take until later (I had that on my list of questions to ask tomorrow), but I assumed it was only an hour or so at most.

Deb415andNikki said:
Have a few thoughts for you, since that isn't going to be an option. Is it possible for your husband to also learn Jasper's upcoming new routine? Also, is it possible for you to have one of your furry-friendly co-workers lined up to be your work back-up on short notice, just in case? And, does Jasper's vet have work-friendly hours that work around your schedule?
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My husband can absolutely help out... when he's in town. He gets sent out of state for work a lot. In fact, he's out of state right now and won't be back until Thursday or Friday, so I'm going to have to show him how to do the shots myself. When I talked to him about it, he sounded a bit squeamish but willing, so that's good. My co-workers are definitely animal lovers -- one has somewhere around ten pets and the other has dogs -- the only problem is that they're the ONLY people who might be able to fill in, but they may already be scheduled to do something else, depending on what's going on that particular day. My department is tiny, and we're already stretched seriously thin. Still, I can talk to them about it. Jasper's vet's office is open until 7:00 Mon - Thursday, so that works well for me. At least there's that! :)

squeem3 said:
I guess I'm lucky. My supervisor has dogs and understands the pet-Human bond. He's cool with letting me take very last minute time off to take my pets to the vet. Although sometimes I feel that he thinks I'm nuts for having health issue-prone pets :-| When I had my diabetic, I was able to work around injection times. I was in work early and left by mid- afternoon because my cat insisted on a 5am/5pm schedule :roll: Occasionally I would have to give the PM injection late because of some late afternoon meeting or just being swamped with work.
Click to expand...

Eee... I hope Jasper doesn't want that schedule. I have a tough time getting up before 7:30!

Joanna & Bix (GA) said:
At the risk of being overly cynical I would lean towards lying. (Oh dear, who have I become?) Say your kid is sick, say you are sick, whatever.
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Haha, as much as I agree lying would be easiest, I have a hard time with it. Everybody at work knows my only kids are my kitties and my birdie, so I can't use that one. As far as lying about myself, I did that once in my life years ago, and then went in the next day, and then I became so sick I couldn't get off the couch for three days. Of course, nobody believed I was sick when I actually was! I know it's superstitious, but I'm always paranoid about that happening again, lol. I guess I could use the vague "medical problem" though. ;) I do like my boss in general, but I do get frustrated with her lack of understanding about the fur and feather kids. She's also not very consistent. I still have to give my bird medicine twice a day (he developed a resistance to his first antibiotic, and now he's on another), and I'm usually about ten or fifteen minutes late for work when Buzzy decides to put up a fight. Sometimes my boss doesn't seem to care, and other times, she gets mad. I'll have to think about whether or not a talk would be good or bad.

On a positive note, I found out just a bit ago that another lady at my work has a diabetic kitty. She's in a different department than me and has a more flexible schedule, but she can always back me up if something happens. :smile:
 
It sounds like you are finding some possibilities, Jen. I was going to post something similar to Joanna yesterday but couldn't decide if it was too much or not. You could always say a dear friend is ill; that would be truthful......
 
As far as the shot timing, it varies to some extent by which insulin you are using - some are more forgiving than others. I'm not sure which one you are using, but check here or in the insulin forum for specifics on how flexible you can be. If needed you can switch to one that works best for your schedule concerns.

As for DH (your dear hubby) you can reassure him the shots get MUCH easier as you go. I was pretty sqeemish at first and I think it took me a few months to get comfortable with it, but at some point it got so ridiculously easy I couldn't even remember why I was goofy about it for a while. I found it helps a lot too to use short needles - depending on which syringes you use you may be able to get the short needle version, which for me took a lot of the scare factor out of it.

I'm not a morning person myself, but I would say shift your whole AM schedule back 15 minutes, and then when Buzzy cooperates you will get mega-points for being in to work early! Could balance out any white lies and keep you healthly :lol: (seriously, that story you told does make you think! :o ). Said even as I prepare to hit the snooze button a few times in the morning ;-)
 
I have kids and I have pets. I've been a supervisor and and I've had bosses. I've been self employed for a few years now, but the last HR sessions I remember instructed us never to ask why. If an employee calls in sick, then mark it down and move on. Explanations should not be necessary. (Though the office I worked in was closer knit than that, we did tend to know everyone's business. When someone was off interviewing was usually the only times that we weren't offered reasons for absences, but generally we all knew anyway.)

The jobs that I've enjoyed the most have given flexibility. As long as the important stuff is covered (workshops, reference desk, meetings, etc.) then the actual work hours can vary. Getting the job done and done well was the focus. If someone had to be away from 10:15 to 12 for hair appointment, dentist visit, kids' award ceremony, picking up Fifi from the groomers, visiting mom at the nursing home, renewing their driver's license, whatever, then the work could either be made up during lunch breaks, after normal business hours or taken as personal leave.

Good employees will make sure that their mission critical work is covered -- even if they have kids, pets, elderly parents, unreliable transportation. Do you live close enough to work to run home at lunch or breaks? You mentioned your boss's allergies, so I guess bringing your cat to work is not an option. Wonder if you could start desensitizing your boss with bringing in a nonallergenic pet. Start teaching her how wonderful companion animals are.

If you show your boss that you can be counted on to be there for the critical stuff, then you should be able to ask for flexibility at other times. If she feels the need to pass judgment on your requests, that's a reflection on her not you.
 
I happen to have human children (all grown) and the furry kind (two cats).. When I worked I did quick exits when I child needed stitches... Stayed home with sickness (once bosses wife came and sat, as I needed to complete a project)..... We worked things out. Worked there twenty-six years... They all knew I loved my pets also. We had none pet people, but they had enough sense to keep quiet and their eyes straight ahead.

Many of us had 'personal time off' for both children and/or pets... we were never discriminated against.

I've written some poems here for cats, when they're sick, when they've passed on to Rainbow Bridge, and generally used for dogs/cats... their loss and the joy they can bring. One girl would try not to read my poems at work, when she checked the board, as she said they always made her cry. Once she had read one and was crying... and her boss asked her what had happened... was she all right... she let him read my poem (don't know if a pet person or not, but guessing he was). She said he left crying......
I think this is the poem...

Try printing it out and posting in your office.... Maybe a non pet person will find their heart..

A Rainbow Path
© 2004 (by Carol Notermann)

I could hear you saying my name, in your very gentle way.
You told me that it was all right, I didn’t have to stay.
I was getting very tired, and the pain was leaving too
I closed my eyes a second, and a field came into view.

I still could hear you talking, but you seemed quite far away
Though I longed to be beside you, I just couldn’t seem to stay
For one moment I was with you, and the next I’m running free
I turned my head and there were others, running next to me.

We ran together through the field, and blue birds filled the sky.
We chased and played together, then I turned and wondered why?
Why were you not behind me? I wondered where you went.
Then someone was beside me, and He had a lovely scent.

He petted me and told me that I simply had to wait.
That before I ‘d time to miss you, you’d be coming through the gate.
He said that very loyal pets, were granted special space
To wait for those who loved them, to see again their face.

So please, know I am waiting with dogs and cats, and many more
For the day that I can see again the faces I adore.
It’s really such a lovely place, there’s no sickness and no pain.
I’ll be so very filled with joy when I see you once again.

Thank you for setting me free.

Whisker kisses to you and dad
 
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