Caregiver Burn Out

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Donna & Buddha

Donna & Buddha

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I've been a member of fdmb for a couple of years. I don't read the posts as often as I used to, but I still check in frequently. Throughout all this time I have always been surprised that I've never seen the topic of caregiver burn out come up. I guess that's not entirely true, because there are requests to rehome diabetic cats and those beans that give up are probably experiencing severe burn out. But the rest of you, don't you get tired and discouraged and resentful? How do you cope?
 
WebMD says this about caregiver burn out: Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude -- from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able -- either physically or financially. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones.

Seriously, does no one experience this from time to time in the course of your cat's chronic illness? Either feline diabetes or something else? How do you all cope?

Personally, I'm not burned out, but some days caring for my cat leaves me feeling pretty worn out. Some days, I'd just like to take the day off, and that's difficult. Sometimes when I read the stories about people trying to rehome their cats I don't say to myself "what an awful person who doesn't love their cat enough and wants to get rid of it" but "wow, wouldn't it be nice if Buddha could find a loving home with a person who is much better than me at managing a personal life and a cat with diabetes." (But no, he's mine and I'll keep him. But I do have these flights of fancy where he becomes a model clinic cat or lives with one you super sugar cat beans.)
 
I think my boss/owner of work has this. but not from her pets (she has dogs) from taking care of her 87 yo mom! Trust me, it's driving her crazy and we get the brunt here!
 
Yes, I have burnout after just 6 months. I cope and deal with it by thinking how much I love Kitty and how she has always stood by me. The only alternative would be for her to suffer or be euthanized---no option for me.
 
We had bouts of burn out .. we would go days bellyachin' and moaning about all the "what ifs" .. what if we could just get up and go on vacation .. what if we slept in on a saturday .. what if .. you get the idea ..

I guess I am lucky because I had a husband who was right here dealing with this too, and it helped to vent out our frustrations to each other .. some people don't understand all we do, and when you complain to those kind of people, you usually get the same, well, why don't you just give them up look ..

There were struggles but we wouldn't give up mocha for anything ..

And usually after venting for a few days we were good to go for a few weeks :lol:
 
Dear Donna & Buddha!
I know probably all to well about caregiver burn out! My hubby was in a very very bad accident.... Left without being able to speak, eat, walk, etc....I was with him pretty much all the way ...for 10 yrs. until his passing (very tramatic). It has been approx. 3 yrs since, and I did not know what to do with myself...not having anyone to take care of...My kitties were find, free fed, I really could come and go as I wanted....Then Bean.....diabetic???? I said wth??? Then Gumpy with massive heart problems and CRF?? Then Civvie Slappy not wanting to eat??? Problems with all my girls within 2-3 months time, after things were getting easier??

I just feel that God has made me a caregiver no matter who is in my life! I guess that helps with the caregiver burn out. If I rehomed, I would spend the rest of my life worrying about them anyway, so why not be the one taking care of them and knowing that they are fine/sick/lonely??? whatever???

I like to say the word overwhelmed! It dont make me feel so guilty for having burn out.......

I have been bringing the little alien - Lil Sista - with me to work so she can get to know her furry family slowly.....well, yesterday, I left her home for the first time! eeeks....
I was the one lonely! LOL! She is here with me today! Could not do without her company....and she has been hanging on my desk almost all day...usually, she is not like that all day, but just maybe, she missed mommy too!

Hang in there, I found that trying to stay to as much as a routine as possible, helps.
Furry hugs to you and Buddha!
 
So far I have not felt burnt out. For several years I was caring for 6 cats, 2 of which were diabetic, and a dog that had seizures. I lost Spot and Witn within a few months of each other and quickly realized that I missed the routine of carring for a diabetic cat. Within a few months I took in Ricky. Originally he was supposed to be a foster, but I soon fell in love with him and he is mine now.

I lost my dog last year, but within a few short weeks, Duquessa decided that she wanted to live with me. I soon discovered she was pregnant with 5 kittens, two of which I still have. So right now, my home consists of 8 cats and me. And I would not trade it for anything. :mrgreen:
 
Donna,

I don't think I would know what to do with myself if I didn't have someone to get up for and tend too. My house for as long as I remember has been over run with little furry feet, and the one and only time it wasn't was when I first moved back to Nebraska from North Carolina. I was staying with my parents at the time, and the ex-husband had taken our cats after the divorce, so not an animal for miles. Within days of finding my new apartment I was at the shelter adopting Muse, then Onyx. Because the house was just too darn quiet without little furry feet. Now with Musette here, yes, there are days that I would love to sleep in, not get up and test and shoot, but those feelings last about 2.5 seconds just long enough for me to roll over, pet her on the back to wake her up and hear her motor turn on.

Mel, Maxwell, Musette & The Fur Gang
 
Yes, Donna, I sometimes feel like I'm on the fast-path to burnout. It's not really the day-to-day stuff even though I would sometimes like to sleep in or go out after work, but as many of my ProZinc friends know, I WANT TO TAKE A VACATION and I can't find anyone, other than me or my husband, that can handle my feisty Alex.

We're leaving town for an overnight stay and I'm feeling pretty guilty because Alex will be missing his Saturday AM shot.

Thanks for posting about this topic.
 
I can definitely relate to that feeling. I've only been on this board for a few weeks and my cats have been diabetic for 2 years but my mom used to deal with them and now I do. I think a lot of the burn out for me anyway comes from financial worries and how I'm going to pay this vet bill and what if something happens now that my accounts are wiped out. Also, I have plenty frustration regarding different vets who I feel like aren't doing what they should be doing and are wasting my time and money and putting my cat's life and well being in jeopardy. The other main thing for me is wondering if I'm doing the right thing. Part of me says if he has to be force fed and given sub Qs and all these other things on a daily basis then maybe it's his time to be and the other part of me says how the hell do I know when it's his time to go!? There's so many things that are frustrating and have given me the 'on brink of burn out' feeling lately but my love for my babies keeps me going. It's just hard when love isn't enough
 
Christina,
I want to say that this site has helped me thru alot of worries of not knowing if the vet is giving me right info....I just bring it here, and get lots of advice and help... I found the lovely folks that helped me learn how to burrito my Slappy for feeding (I tried and was doing it alllll wrong). She now weights 6.80 lbs from 5.5! Mommy got a baby scale and she likes to use it at least once a week! I guess my girls are spoiled as one will only eat dry , sardines, and now her dropper feeding a/d.....Bean likes f. feast the best, but will settle for some other items occasionally......Lil Sista likes cooked up chicken livers the best, boiled chicken, and she loves getting into everyone elses food!
I spend much more time preparing their food, treats, etc. than I need to but it is very important to me and their wonderfull smiling eyes tell me that it is all worth it....My boss was telling me this a.m. that it must great to be to be my cat! lol
Hang in there as I would not tell you how to know when its time and I think that is my most frustrating thing of all. I did breifly read some articles about 'quailty of life' when my Gumpy was doing so bad and I still have a hard time with her passing, and wondering if I did the right thing. I know time will make that better, but dang! And I believe they do know we love them soo much.
Big Big Paw hugs to ms. Christina
 
Hmm, interesting topic.

As someone who's been dealing with FD for over 6 years now, I have realized some of the keys to preventing burnout is to keep yourself informed, seek out information and even help on the board if you can! Sharing not only your own struggles but the struggles of others keeps it fresh and interesting for me. I not only help someone, but also learn even more.

We are only human and trying to help another being, such as our kitties, is one of the greatest gifts we can give, even if we aren't always successful.

cat_pet_icon
 
Well in as much as we, Thomas and I, have been dealing with this for over 10 1/2 years, there are times that I just have a good old cry about things. But I truly believe that somewhere I will be credited for the care I have given him. I also know that when it is his time to leave me I will be inconsolable about losing him, and with all the emotions I will be feeling guilt will never be one of them.
My belief is that we just have to do what we must do, whether it be with our pets, our families our kids, and too much feeling sad for your lot in life will not really help.
As well it is Thomas that is ill, not me, and someday I may need someone to help me.
Dana
 
Sometimes I feel burn-out. It depends upon how my kitties are doing. presently some of them are not eating that well and I have to syringe feed them. Attached is a link to my spread sheet where I track my five diabetic kitties. I record the data on my iPad and just uploaded it so others can see what I do.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub ... utput=html
 
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