Buddy's Passing - Effect On His Sisters?

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CatCouple

CatCouple

Member Since 2015
As you may know, Buddy went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. He has two sisters: Addie May (13 years old) and Knockoff (2 1/2 years old). His sisters, like Buddy, are indoor cats. We would not say Buddy was inseparable with either of his sisters. Rather we would describe their relationships as getting along extremely well.

We suspect that his sisters knew Buddy was not well. We are now wondering how Buddy's passing may effect his sisters. We would appreciate hearing your thoughts and any experiences you may have had. What should we look for in his sisters' behavior to assess the impact of Buddy's passing?
 
We had to let two females go within a few weeks of each other last fall. They were the oldest of four (2 females & 2 males). One male seemed lost without them. If anyone said their names he'd search the house and made sounds I likened to crying. He has become very clingy and my constant shadow. The other male seems less affected. Although, he does seem to enjoy the extra attention I'm able to give him these days since I'm no longer caring for sick and elderly kitties.

The behavior we saw was what you'd likely expect with most humans... depression and moping around the house. We've showered them with love and attention. They appear to be coping and healing... maybe even back to "normal".
 
Thank you for sharing. Right now our strategy is lots of love for the sisters and avoiding using Buddy's name in front of them. Don't know if the later is a good idea or not. We are debating whether or not to talk to them about Buddy. What do you and others think?
 
All I can suggest is do whatever feels natural and right for the members of your household. There is no one-sized approach for all. The mere thought that you're concerned and thinking about how Buddy's passing will affect Addie May and Knockoff tells me your family will be just fine.
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Edwin and I were both lost for a while after losing Irene 12 years ago. They had been brought home together and were inseparable for their four years together. It was just the three of us and Irene kind of held us all together. Afterwords, there was a lot of wandering aimlessly about the house. (I suppose both of us were subconsciously looking for Irene.) Also, Edwin definitely knew that Irene was ill, but was still confused when she went to the vet for surgery (we were dealing with FIP, but didn't know it) and then never came home.

Irene and Edwin had always shared a bowl for their food. After she passed, Edwin refused to eat the food in "her" half of the bowl regardless of how much food he was given. I had to get rid of that bowl and get him a new one. Even 12 years later he still flips out meowing whenever he sees a black cat (like Irene was). He's still looking and hoping that it's her even though we've moved several times.

Basically you just have to play it by ear. All cats are different and respond differently. Extra attention helps, especially when they seem down. I wouldn't see an issue using Buddy's name in front of them. Maybe a good sit down talk with them will help :). Maybe picking up and storing some of Buddy's favorite things might help them understand that he's gone and not coming back, but maybe leaving those things out might help the transition. It's hard to tell and it just takes time.
 
Years ago when I lost Rascal, my cat Mischief missed him dearly. Witn was alive then and even though she and Mischief played often, Rascal was Mischief's buddy. She continued to look for him for 3 months. I then adopted Callie and that seem to help.

When I lost Witn, Spot and Ricky, the other cats missed them, but quickly recovered. Every situation is different and it takes time.
 
Hi,

As others have said, every situation is different.

Mostly, our own cats seem to have been little affected when one of the others in the household has died. However, the most recent two losses have had quite a profound effect on the other cats.
When our little Moses died, his litter mate seemed very lost for a while. He became very skittish and nervous; but fortunately he did settle down after a few months. When Bertie's friend, Jim-Bob, died, Bertie started howling, and looked for Jim-Bob everywhere. It was incredibly sad. That was almost 2 years ago, and Bertie has quietened down a little but has never completely stopped howling. We don't think he will ever get over the loss of his friend.
On the other hand, our timid little tortie girl, Sophie, seems to have relished the fact that Jim-Bob and Moses are no longer around. She has gained in confidence enormously since their passing, and seems to be a much happier little kitty now.

Eliz
 
It has been 10 days since Buddy passed away. His sisters, Addie May and Knockoff seem to be OK. It is Buddy's human Dad who looks for him in all his favorite places and sadly calls his name quietly under his breath. Dad still makes sure that the sliding door to his favorite hiding place, a walk-in closet, is still open for him.

However, I thought I did see some signs of mourning from his older sister Addie May. So Addie May and I sat quietly in one of her favorite spots and read the Rainbow Bridge Poem together. She listened to every word. We then talked about Buddy being at peace and that we would both see him again. I do not know for sure if she was mourning or if it made her feel better if she is, but I do know it helped me with my grief.

I have not yet had a similar conversation with his younger sister Knockoff. I will continue to keep a close eye on her feelings and have "the talk" if necessary. Perhaps Addie May may even talk to Knockoff about Buddy. Meanwhile, both sisters are receiving lots of love.

Buddy's Dad
 
It will take time, which is different for each person. When I took Puddin to the vet for her final visit, I was playing Chopin's Piano Concertos CD as we drove, and to this day (2 years later), it still brings tears to my eye when I hear that CD. I loved that little girl with everything I had. Her buddy Mickey missed her, he never did warm up to new kitties I brought into our family. He has now joined Puddin at the Rainbow Bridge, where they run free together.
Please be gentle with yourself, and know that Buddy is now in a place where he is free of pain, running young and free in the sunshine amongst the butterflies...and with Mickey and Puddin.

thinking of you,
Lori
 
All these stories brought tears to my eyes... This is the first time I've owned two cats at once, in the past I just had a single cat and when they passed I was the only sad one. I dread the time when I lose one of my current boys and I'm sure the other will too. I agree every instance is different, just follow what's in your heart and talk to you little buddies about what happened.
 
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11 years ago I lost my baby boy to FIP - this passing tore a hole in my heart that has never healed. His little sister, Puck, left us suddenly in her sleep just 7 weeks ago at almost 15 years old. Our 4 year old tuxedo looked everywhere for her, rolled feverishly in her favorite sleeping spot and woke us 'crying' one morning a few weeks ago. I hurt to watch her puzzle out that Puck was missing and not coming back. Our furred ones grieve as we do and I have often wondered how long they remember and feel 'without'.
I feel for you and your babies and for all those whose loved ones go on invisible to our eyes but not to our hearts.
 
It has been almost two months now since Buddy went to the Rainbow Bridge. I am pleased to report that both his sisters are doing well and have not been negatively impacted by his absence. Not so with us.
 
CatCouple said:
It has been almost two months now since Buddy went to the Rainbow Bridge. I am pleased to report that both his sisters are doing well and have not been negatively impacted by his absence. Not so with us.
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It is good to know that Buddy's sisters have accepted that he is gone to the bridge.

I think as petparents we suffer more and longer for our special furkids. It is over 15 years since my extra special Buzzy went to the bridge and I still miss him terribly to this day. Keep your wonderful memories of Buddy close to your heart. It will not stop the pain but it will hopefully give you some small comfort as you learn to deal with your loss.

:bighug: :bighug:
 
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