Don't get discouraged. It is unfortunate that your vet and the techs did not know how to do this, but no worries, we can help you.
Here is a link that demonstrates the process -
http://www.sugarpet.net/bloodtst.html
the thing I notice about this link is where exactly on the ear the test is done.
This picture may help you to better understand where you are aiming to test. The goal is to hit the sweet spot - which is the area between the vein and edge of ear.
Now, you can do this by going from front to back of ear or back to front. There is no right or wrong, there is only what is more comfortable for you.
Do try to stay in the upper half of ear as lower down (closer to ear lobe) you won't get as much blood - why I don't know, it just seems to work better in the upper section of ear. You also don't have to be exact on the sweet spot, just use it as a guide.
What color ears does your cat have? If he has dark ears, then you may want to get a flashlight so you can use it (in your mouth) to shine on the ear as a spotlight. I did this with Maui - as she has black ears.
Also using a flashlight you may be able to see where the vein is on your cat and then adjust your aim that way - your goal is to get near the vein, but NOT hit it. Now if you do hit the vein, no worries, you will just get lots of blood and will need to hold/press firmly to stop the flow.
You want to make sure the ear is nice and warm, which will make it bleed easier. The trick to warm ears, is using a warming sock
Take one sock (any sock you have without holes in it)
Add 1/4 cup of dried rice OR dried beans OR oatmeal
Knot the top so nothing falls out
Heat in microwave 15-30 seconds until warm to touch
Place behind cat's ear and hold another 30 seconds or longer until ear is warm
You may want to keep it there as a buffer between ear and your finger and to help give stability to ear when poking.
Poking - you can use the device or you can do it free hand
When using the device - put it on the deepest setting and you may want to remove the cap cover too (sometimes that helps give you more control) then push it straight on the ear - in a nice horizontal motion -
Personally, I found the device cumbersome and harder to do than free handing.
If you try to free hand, then the biggest tip is to go in at a 45 degree ish upward angle, like this:
Where are you located? Maybe there is a member nearby who can come over and help you in person.