Barbara Benner - Rest in Peace, dear friend

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Michelle and Mannie (GA)

Michelle and Mannie (GA)

Member Since 2009
Today we all lost a valued member of our community. Barbara passed away today, after surgery to correct an abdominal aortic aneurysm, that had reached critical stage. I know not the details of her passing, only that the fatality rate for this type of surgery was extremely high. The location of hers was in an extremely difficult location for repair. Her outlook on it all was so so Barbara, always optimistic, positive. We had talked for hours on the outcome, what to do if the unthinkable would occur. She was very optimistic about the outcome, the celebration when she would come home. I so wish that had been the case. I shall truly miss her.

Barbara had been putting off this surgery for some time now. It was so important to her that those she knew and loved were cared for before undertaking this surgery: her family, her friends, and above all her animals. Barb and I had a very heart warming talk the night before she went to the hospital. She as so happy that all the cats, and Khoko, her horse, were placed with those she knew, those she knew would love them as much as she did. It was always so cool to listen to the joy in her voice when she spoke of Khoko, the kitties, and especially Tuffy, her resident FD kitty. Tuffy was a concern for Barbara, as she is not an easy diabetic to manage. Tuffy is with a horse vet tech, and her family. What was so wonderful was that barb had been talking to Tuffy about her hospital stay, about those that would care for her, and Tuffy seemed to get it. When she took Tuffy there on Saturday it was an instant hit. Tuffy cuddled with Dave, and by that nght had made a new friend with one of their cats. Tuffy will be loved there, and taken care off. This alone would make Barb very happy. Khoko will be, eventually, going with horse friends she has known for years. A close friend of hers will be caring for the rest of the cats.

I am at a loss for words.... Such a sad sad day. We have all lost a very special lady. One who cared so much for all of us in LL. On a personal note I cannot thank her enough for all the support, words of wisdom, for being there when I lost Mannie, and for just being Barb. I cannot thank you enough for always believing, trusting, knowing, supporting. We all owe you so much.

Tuffy, you mom will always be with you. She loved you more than words can say... you were her life. Fear not, she will always be with you. And waiting until you meet again.
 
Michelle...thank you for writing this very beautiful tribute to our friend, Barbara.

Barb had a zest for life and such a strong and amazing love for Khoko and also for her kitties. Tuffy was very, very bonded to Barbara. Barb told me she had too much life left to live to not make it through the surgery. I was certain she would be back among us soon.

There isn't one of us that's been around while that she didn't help and support. She cared about every member and all the cats. She will be greatly missed and her passing is a heartbreaking tragedy.

In memory and honor of Barbara....her compassion, her caring, her unselfishness; may you be in a beautiful place where there is only love and light.
 

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Thank you, Michelle, for posting this tribute to Barb. It is eloquent.

I hadn't spoken with Barb as recently as Michelle, but knew she was concerned about the surgery and who would be caring for Tuffy. Like many of the people here in LL, cats and dogs that others had cast off found their way to Barb's home and heart. She found room for many.

I love Barb's stories about Tuffy. I was around when Tuffy went OTJ. I was also around when Barb had surgery for a broken hip. Tuffy couldn't deal with being separated and had an episode of DKA. The bond between the two of them is amazing. I am comforted knowing that Tuffy has found people who have a place in their hearts for her. This is Barb's last post. While Barb would drop me notes telling me how much she chuckled at Gizmo's antics, it is Tuffy that makes me smile. I will dearly miss Barb's anecdotes about Tuffy.

Farewell my friend. I hope your crossing the Bridge was an easy one and you are reunited with those who love you best. The lights of LL are ablaze to guide your way.

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I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you, Michelle, for the sweet tribute to her. I'm so glad her kids have found loving homes.

Libby (& Hershey, too!)
 
I am in shock.
Such sad news......

Thank you, Barbara, for caring so much about all the LL kitties.
Thank you for helping us.
Thank you for your love.
 
:cry: Our hearts are breaking in LL tonight. We are so grateful for the love you shared with us Barb and we shall miss you so.


Thank you for sharing this with us Michelle. I am comforted knowing Barb was able to make all the arrangements for her loved ones, so she could enter her surgery with her heart and soul at peace.
 

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Thank you for the beautiful tribute, Michelle. It's not often that one person touches so many people but Barbara did.

This is so very heartbreaking. We have lost a very special friend who has been there for all of us at one time or another. Barbara will be missed by very many inside and outside of our little world. I'm so glad Tuffy and her other Fur babies will be taken care of as she would want. That's who she was. Love, compassion and eternal joy and light. The next time I look up in the dark sky and see the brightest star in the heavens, I know that will be Barbara.

Until we meet again sweet lady,
 
Oh my gosh. :-( Even I knew Barbara. She was one of the first people to reach out to me when I joined FDMB. she could tell I was completely overwhelmed and did not know what to do next. She was so sweet, encouraging and a huge cheerleader for us. She shared with me Tuffy's story and offered a great deal of moral support for me.

Rest in peace, Barbara. You will be greatly missed. Take care of the fur babies that are on the other side waiting for you.
 
Thank you Michelle for the beautiful tribute to Barbara. It is comforting to know her beloved babies will be so well cared for and this must have given her great relief upon going to the hospital. She truly did touch the hearts of many and she will be missed and always remembered as the great cheerleader she was.

Rest well Barbara, and thank you.
 
I am so sorry to hear about Barbara. My heart and prayers go out to her family and all her friends.
Michelle, thanks for the beautiful Tribute and how she cared for and made sure Tuffy and her furry ones would be cared for and loved. I'm glad you were able to talk with her the night before the surgery. I'm sure it had to be a comfort for her. Rest in peace, Barb.
 
What a truly sad day here in LL. Barbara was an amazing bean and no doubt her beloved furkids are feeling her love radiate around them. Our hearts prayers go out to her family.
 
I am shocked and saddened to hear this. Barbara was so positive and supportive and kind. I can't believe that she is gone. Thank goodness she had the comfort of knowing her animals were well taken care of. I will miss her so much.
 
OMG! I am in shock. I just talked to her on the phone on Saturday. She didn't even mention the surgery that day.
Rest In Peace, my friend.
 
Barbara was a good and dear friend to me as she was to so many others and I already miss her presence in my life. I spoke to her on the phone just the other day and we too spoke of her upcoming surgery and all the things she was doing to see that all her beloved furbabies, be they feline or equine, were all well cared for. As we talked of these things we talked believing that she was going in for surgery, would get fixed, and be home to her furbabies and friends in no time at all. She was indeed particularly bonded to Tuffy and had been very worried for months about what to do about Tuffy while she was having surgery and recovering and sounded quite relieved when she told me that Tuffy was doing so well at her cat sitter's pre-surgery. Barbara was such a positive person, she always gave me hope & support when I needed it most, she had this incredible knack for calling just when I needed her most and for bringing me out of whatever funk I happened to be in at the time. I miss her strength, her presence, her support, her emails, her voice and her love.

Fly free, my dear, dear friend. I love you.

Desi
 
I am heart broken. I too have very fond memories of Barbara. Barbara was so full of love and kindness, always reaching out to give comfort to whoever needed it. Barbara checked in with me a lot...to see how my mom was doing after her surgeries, always checking on Spot and gave me words of comfort when Ralphie crossed. We have truly lost a wonderful friend.

I am glad that her fur babies have been sent to homes where they will be loved and cared for, especially Tuffy. She always said that Tuffy knew exactly what she was thinking and saying. She was right.

Rest peacefully my friend, you will be missed so much.

Michelle, thank you for such a wonderful tribute to our friend.
 

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It is indeed a sad day in LL. I am devastated to hear the news of Barbara's passing. I had a P.M. From her just a few weeks ago because she was concerned about my knee and wanted to remind me of Arnica jell. She mentioned that she was going to have surgery, but, in true Barbara fashion, did not go into details. That was classic Barbara: caring about others, always optimistic about her own capacity to surmount whatever was thrown at her. I will miss her so much. Her love for her animals--Tuffy the amazing one, Waif, Khoko, her horse, the son of her beloved Pami, and all of the others--was unconditional and inspirational. They will continue to be loved by her friends in whose care they have been placed.

Farewell, dear friend, until we meet again. Fly free

In loving remembrance,

Ella & Rusty

Thank you, Michelle, for this beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman.
 
This is so sad to read .. Thank you Michelle, for the beautiful tribute .. I am glad she was able to make arrangements for all her animals before her surgery .. Rest in Peace Barbara ..
 
What a beautiful tribute, Michelle.
Barbara had and will continue to have a positive influence on SO MANY. What an amazing life.
Keeping her family and friends in my thoughts and heart. ♥
 
Barbara had such a generous heart - she was also one of the first people who reached out to me when i arrived here with punkin. Over the years she popped in and out, always offering help and advice to people.

In January we emailed back and forth a few times, and that was when i learned how extensive her involvement with animal rescue has been. Here are a couple of quotes from Barbara about her work with feral cat rescue:

I worked full time left 7:00 a.m and returned 5:30 p.m. I had 11 kitties of my own, 2 of which were diabetic. I also had 2 dogs and 9 horses. The horses needed to be cleaned and fed. Add to that 48 rescue/foster kitties. I also fed the Boardwalk kitties in Atlantic City one day a week. This required organization. Yes, my life was very structured but that was how it had to be.

With the Boardwalk kitties, all ferals, the was a group and we split the chore of feeding, bedding, etc between us. We worked together to get the job done. I made a commitment and felt I would notify them if I could not fulfill my part. It did take organization and cooperation. My set-up for the fosters was a large 32 x 32 kitty room, they had access to a screened outside area. Initially it was open to my 25 acre farm but one wandered 1000 feet to the road out front and got hit so that ended their freedom. It was heated and a/c.

Thanks for listening. Now off to take care of my 6. TTYL
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...others help feeding the feral colonies. It take coordination and cooperation. I felt sorry for many but I knew my limitations. Rescue can be great but it has limitations. We never used Petsmart or any other groups. We did our own placement and we did follow-up to make sure they were safe and secure and had loving homes.

Yes, it can be heartbreaking but to know they were getting individual care and love was the best.

I placed 4 kittens in one home. they originally wanted 2 and were sent to me by my vet. He told them I was very strict about placement. When they came to get the kittens they asked how many I was keeping. I said with 48 cats, I was not planning on keeping any so they adopted all 4. They had beautiful lives. Eventually after weekly follow-ups when they had to go out of town, I would stop and take care of them on my way to and from work. That was rewarding. They also supported our rescue efforts.
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Tuffy was not my first diabetic kitty she was #10. The others were before FDMB. We used urine test strips. The insulin was Ultra Lente (L). My first died at 22 1/2 from old age. I had one on 29 units bid. I was very grateful for the board. I paid attention. I'm not foreign to animal health. I grew up at U of P vet school. My daughter is a vet tech, recipient of a Smithsonian Fellowship and William Penn scholar and her husband is a vet, a well respected one. I stopped shots because of VAS long before many heard about it due to my SIL's awareness. My daughter also uses homeopathic remedies she is also trained in Bach flower remedies but cautions that they don't mix well with allopathic medicine. Some herbs are dangerous when mixed.

...People don't realize the difference between animal species and the meds used. Most don't use Equine Adequan for cats, they use canine. Equine works better. Yes, there is a difference. Vit C works well for kitties with urinary tract problems but DON"T give it to dogs. In many cases they need to stop and think. But, that does not happen.
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Barbara had a wealth of knowledge and experience and was liberal with teaching those who wanted to learn more and were open to instruction. I appreciated & liked Barbara tremendously. You'll be missed, dear friend. :YMHUG:

Thank you for the beautiful tribute, michelle.
 
To everyone in LL Land and beyond.How lucky you all are to know such a fine woman. May her spirit inhabit your souls and spread her love to lessen your sadness. Michelle your tribute is beautiful and so heartfelt...My sincere condolences,
jeanne

For Barbara:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... d=20407645

so often we get on these computers and connect with the world. It is unusual to build bonds and connect to the "person"...As Barbara would say,* FDMB it is what it is*. This is something we should not take for granted.
God bless and comfort all that grew to know and love Barbara.
 
I am very sad at Barbara's passing. Our lives here are all too short, but it is especially sad to lose one so kind and generous. I hope Barbara is reading all of the kind words here and knows how much love there is for her. Fly free, Barbara, with all of the furry babies that passed before you.
 
Thank you all for giving me more insight into Barbara, I knew her from the board here but it seems like there was more to her than that. She will be greatly missed. My condolences for her family. Rest in peace great lady and thank you for all that you gave.

Terri
 
((((All of LL who were blessed to know this wonderful person)))) I did not know her, but can see from reading these posts, and her last post (thanks Sienne), what a wonderful person she was. Thank you Michelle for that beautiful tribute.
 
I'm still having a hard time with this, It just seems like a dream. I didn't know her as long as a lot of you but I felt her friendship each and every time she would message me or send me a positive thought to let me know she was thinking of Ryleigh and Tommy and was always, ALWAYS, keeping my spirits up when she could tell I was down. That's just who she was. I know that she fearlessly loved her animals and you could tell when she spoke of them they were the world to her. I will miss her dearly each and every day and think of her fondly each time I reach for the container of Vita flex that she suggested might be a good MSM product to give Ryleigh.. Thank you Barbara for always being selfless and always being "real".. I'm sure your rotties were there to greet you. Give them a smooch for me ok. Thank you for leaving a footprint on my heart and for teaching me to just breathe when things seem to be too much.
Until then my friend.......
 

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I did not know Barbara. My heart goes out to her family and all of her friends. I can't even imagine the pain she must have felt knowing that she may never come home to her beloved pet and make all the arrangements... just in case. I am so sorry for this sad loss.
 
Such a beautiful tribute, Michelle. Barbara was the true and complete embodiment of the love and spirit of this place, and while it's hard to imagine through tears and heavy hearts life around here without her, I know she will live on through our shared experience in this wonderful space. May her humor and her kind and giving spirit be a constant example to us all.
 
So so sad to read this. Like many others I had never met her personally but we had exchanged many pm's and messages on Facebook. When scrabble went back on insulin she was there to offer support and advice. Also when he passed away she messaged me every day to see how I was doing. What a wonderful woman she was. She will be missed greatly here on FDMB. My deepest sympathies go out to her family. I am do happy to hear Tuffy found a furever home.
 
I am so sorry to hear about Barbara's passing. I was praying for her surgery to go well and was heartbroken when a request was made on facebook to help rehome her furkids.
Although I am not around the board to much I have many fond memories of Barbara.
May Barbara rest in peace and her furkids find love in their new homes.
A very sad day.
 
I was so sad to read about Barb. The world and LL lost a beautiful generous person. My heart goes out to you all and to her family. *cry*
 
Truly sad Barb is now gone....hard to believe...

My sincere condolences to her family

I too remember all too well the love she had with Pami as she wrote to me of her often....when I lost Rocket she reached out to me privately...I will forever be thankful I got to know her even if only on the internet...she truly cared for others...and I'm so very sorry she leaves behind her fur-kids even if they're well taken care of....I know Tuffy and the others will miss her dearly...

she often sent me messages asking me how I was doing....and each pm would end with this quote:

Don't let the birds of sorrow build a nest in your hair
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Thank you Michelle for posting this tribute...though I am not a regular on the board...I am still in touch with the old timers on FB....

I'm still in shock

Until we all meet again dearest Barb...may you be greeted by all those gone before you as I know you have certainly been greeted by Pami and the others
 
I didn't know Barbara and so sad. I'm glad she was helpful to many of you and I'm sure will be missed by many. Our hearts are with everyone affected.
 
Good morning everyone. I am sorry it has taken me a few to post any sort of an update. You all are fantastic, all that has been said here is so true,and so so Barbara. She was indeed very active in feline rescue. SO TRUE on always always putting the needs of others before her own needs. We will so miss you ongoing passion Barbara. i wanted to confirm, and let you all know that what I believed to be happening actually was. Khoko will be going in the bear future to live with a horse friend of Barbara's. He will be with other horses, have lots of open pasture. it will be a very good placement for him. The day before surgery Barb had spent the day with Khoko, and she did tell me he understood, and in his own way told her it was ok. Barb's close friend is working on a placement for the others, and they are being very selective, and following barb's wishes. Some of them need to go together etc. I trust Nancy in this implicitly. She understood Barb's wishes so well. Tuffy will be fine. She is staying with the folks that Barb placed her with. They absolutely love her, the FD mangement is going well, and Tuffy is very happy there. That alone was so so important to Barbara.

Barb's family is arrvng today. per her request, there will be no services. Should I hear anything to the contrary I will let all know.

This is just to share. i remember Roni (moonie) saying that one should always look for feathers, after a passing. A feather signified the the soul of the departed was nearby. It is a form of communication. Yesterday I found a feather on my living room floor. Granted to was from an old unplayed with cat toy, but there it was, an actual for real feather on my floor. I had not seen that feather in months.... Thank you Barbara for letting me, all of us, know that all is ok. You have made it, and all is well. Rest in peace my dear friend. Until we all meet again.
 
I still can not wrap my mind around this....and each time I am reminded my heart just breaks. Michelle, thanks for letting us know about the feather. That is a true sign that Barbara is looking down on us and letting us know she is ok.
 
Thank you, Michelle, for letting us know about Barb's beloved companions. I know Khoko was her soulmate as was Tuffy and I am glad she was at peace knowing they would be fine.

I am so glad Barbara left you a sign. I feel better knowing she is watching over and loving all of our sweet kitties who have crossed and caring for them until we are all reunited.
 
I just saw this! What a loss for so many hearts, furry and otherwise. Thank you for the beautiful tribute, Michelle. How wonderful to know that all her furbabies will be taken care of as she wished. Now Barb can watch over every friend and smile down on those who need her love.
 
Michelle and Mannie (GA) said:
This is just to share. i remember Roni (moonie) saying that one should always look for feathers, after a passing. A feather signified the the soul of the departed was nearby. It is a form of communication. Yesterday I found a feather on my living room floor. Granted to was from an old unplayed with cat toy, but there it was, an actual for real feather on my floor. I had not seen that feather in months.... Thank you Barbara for letting me, all of us, know that all is ok. You have made it, and all is well. Rest in peace my dear friend. Until we all meet again.
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Thank you for posting this Michelle, I did not know this.

I, too, found feathers in my house today.

I just thought one of the kitties had brought me yet another one of the presents they sometimes bring me.

Now I know differently.

I will treasure them always.

Barbara, I love you and miss you, my friend.

Desi
 
I am so sorry to be reading this about Barb. What a wonderful lady she was and such a caring pet mom. god certainly has a wonderful angel now. My prayers are with her family.

Pattie
 
Such sad, sad news. Thank you for sharing this with us Michelle....condolences to her family....
Dear Barbara...you will be missed...........
 
What a beautiful tribute, Michelle. I was so sad to hear of Barbara's passing and am at a loss for words. Barbara and Tuffy were such a big part of Chloe's and my journey. We are indebted to Barbara for her support, encouragement, friendship and so much more. Rest in peace, dear Barbara.
 
Barbara was my friend, and I miss her terribly.

When my beloved Mookie♥ developed FD, Barb coached me and gave me the courage to do what needed to be done. She shared her wisdom without hesitation and was available anytime, day and night. When Mookie♥ became too ill to recover and I had to let him go, she offered comfort and strength. She was always generous of herself, even when her own health issues caused pain, discomfort, or worry. Her friendship and her compassion for animals made the world a better place.

Rest easy, Barb. Your fur babies and Khoko will be cared for and loved, and your friends won't forget you. :YMHUG:
 
I bet you anything that Barbara is sitting at the bridge with all our loved ones that are waiting for us and she is telling them stories and loving on them as we loved them. I bet Maui is even trying to figure out a uniform, err outfit for Barbara to wear and a job for her to do.

The world and LL lost a treasure.
 
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