a week ago today... sophie... thank you

[Diana&Tom]

Exactly one week ago - the longest week of my life - i lost my precious sophie. i have been posting on grief but i have not been to this forum to thank all the kind people who wrote soothing words. so this is to do that. thank you so much, all of you who didn't know me at all - i have been around for some years but not in a big way, so i am especially touched by those of you who don't know me at all and posted.

i have just posted on grief and i can't think of anything different to say here so here it is. Thank you everyone.


i keep telling myself i must stop posting here so often but i can't seem to help it. pouring out my grief in a place where i know i am among people who understand is one of the few things i seem able to do at the moment.

i can't believe it but it is now exactly a week since i lost my precious precious sophie. it all still feels unreal. i took her to the vet in the morning fully expecting to have her home by tea time, but instead came the dreaded shock news that the vet had found something unexpected and had not been able to save her. it was the most intense shock i have ever had and i don't know how i carried on breathing.

this week it is only a few friends who have kept me sane. i wake up thinking i am going mad, i get through the day minute by minute thinking i am going mad, i go to bed thinking i am going mad. life is all wrong here without my baby. she really should still be here - she was in such otherwise perfect health, amazingly so for her 17.5 years and i knew she wouldn't live for ever but she could so easily have had more years to come.

i realise that i have not really written a proper tribute to my baby. there is so much i could say, that she was the sweetest, dearest, cuddliest, dearest, most beautiful little girl ever, that we were so happy together in our own little paradise even after tom had passed. there were always shadows of sadness but the love sophie brought to me since then was just something incredibly precious that i will cherish for ever and ever. i just wish i could wake up from this bad dream and tell her over and over how much i love her and will love her for all eternity.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

 

[Cheryl and Winnie]

diana,

of course you should keep posting if it helps you . that's what we are here for !! there is no *right* way to grieve. everyone has to find their own way....... and I'm sure you are realizing that it's probably different in some ways then when you lost tom. no way to prepare. no way to figure it out.... just got to keep going on this painful path ...... and as I said, while you have to find what works best for you to get through,
we can certainly support you and offer suggestions.

One idea I would offer-- after reading your comment about wanting to tell her over and over that you love her. then do. write her a letter. keep a journal of many letters. or put in an envelope and take it out to her grave and put it there held down with a special rock or something. or I have heard of some that will burn it and sprinkle the burned letter in the wind to be delivered. whatever feels right to YOU. ok?
She knows how much you love her by the way. ;-) but I'm sure she will get and appreciate your messages just the same . I hope she is able to send you a sign soon.

and if you want to write up a tribute someday, then please do and share it with us. tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. whenever it is right for you to do. I still haven't written up a tribute for my civie Wolf who passed in June. someday I'll feel ready. I finally had to give myself a break and realize that it was ok that I couldn't do it right away.

I hope you are also doing somethings nice for yourself. little things... a bubble bath. a movie. some ice cream.

take care. we're here

((((((((((((((((((((( Diana ))))))))))))))))))))))