This "place" is a true miracle, but some days it can be the saddest place on earth. My heart goes out to you Ann, along with prayers for you in the days ahead.
I thought after reading your post first thing this morning about how you and Maggie were able to "exchange" gifts at the end. She gave you the "gift" of taking the decision that is the hardest one we make away from you. And you, Ann, you gave her the ultimate gift by telling her "it's okay to leave, I'm okay, and I don't want you to suffer." Those must be the hardest words for any of us to utter, completely removing our breaking hearts from the equation because the love we feel for "them" is so strong and takes precedence over what "we" want.
Her coming into your life was a miracle. Had that not happened, you would not have come here when you did. And think of how that would have made everyone here's life different. How many cats and caregivers have been blessed by the fact that Maggie became diabetic? Thousands, Ann. Thousands. Me and Bob are just two of them.
I left Maggie's carrier and blanket there, as I could not bring home an empty carrier. The vet said he would make sure someone special gets it. It was a cute and colorful soft carrier and all Maggie.
Even in your grief, you were able to give a gift to another kitty and another bean. That was a beautiful thing to do, and I wish I had thought of it last week. Bringing home an empty carrier was very difficult. I couldn't even unload it from the car, and it's still there. But I know where it needs to go now, and when I pick up Mullet's ashes next week, it'll get there.
Tonight is a New Moon. I think that's a good thing. Because tonight, the stars will be very visible, and I hope you are able to see the "new star" in the heavens tonight that will be Maggie, shining brightly for you to see.
Hugs,
Carl