GA 7/13 Jupiter <3

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Jamie & Jupiter

Jamie & Jupiter

Member Since 2013
I miss him even more today. As time passes so far I feel like I just miss him more and more. I miss him waking me up meowing in my face for pets. I miss the way he used to loved to be held and hugged... I miss his meows when I sneeze and cough.. I miss him laying on my chest and purring a storm while I pet him. I miss watching him play and be happy. I miss taking care of him. I miss feeling needed. I feel like I have no motivation to be okay anymore. Waking up every morning in pain, waking up was still worth it so I could spend time with him. I just feel so broken. Ive never felt so sad before.

I dont even know where to start. I guess I want to start by thanking each and every person who helped Jupiter and I. Thank you everyone, for helping Jupiter and I have these past 2 years together. Thank you all for your kind and comforting words.

Friday morning......He wasnt himself anymore. He didnt purr at all friday morning. He wouldnt eat or drink anything. Not even treats or dry food or anything. I couldnt stand to see him in so much pain. I really feel he held on as long as he could until I moved and was okay. I think he was finally ready to go. It kills me that I cant be sure of that though (what if he didnt mind living in pain in order to be here?).... Seeing him in so much pain.... I didnt want him suffering like that....and at the vet... I told Jupe if he was ready to go, it was okay. I told him I would be okay and I thanked him for helping me get this far. It makes me sad to think he might have been holding on that long while not feeling well. He was so brave and so tough.

Im heartbroken. I feel so empty. Things just dont feel right. He was truly amazing. He was the sweetest most loving kitty. I wannt be okay for him but I just dont feel okay anymore without him.

I know I have been so blessed to be able to spend Jupiters life with him. Right after his chemo ended.... I remember how well he felt for a little while. He was like a kitten again so playful and alive. I had never seen him feeling better. When I think about those few amazing months... I am so happy that Jupiter got to experience that joy and feeling well during that time. I only wish his entire time here would have been that good. He was an amazing kitty and deserved to be feeling good and happy all the time.


---------------------------------------------
Heres about the vet and everything that happened:

Over the past few months Jupiter had lost a lot of weight... it felt like he was just withering away. He kept getting sick and not feeling well. On June 10th he went to the vet because he peed on the floor and then peed on me a few minutes later... At the vet he peed out a blood clot and they did a bunch of tests and determined he had a really severe urinary tract infection. Was on antibiotics for 3 weeks. Then on June 28th I took him to the vet because his ear was bleeding from the inside... they diagnosed him with a bad ear infection and he was started on antibiotic eardrops....

Late thursday night Jupiter had vomited a couple of times... I wasnt really sure why. A few hours later....very early friday morning he was going into the litter box and straining... then he would come out of the litter box and vomit. I thought and really hoped he was only constipated (since he has had issues with it in the past and done the straining and vomiting thing)....but I had a really bad feeling....So friday July 10th I took him to the vet again.

His kidneys were both very enlarged and had lots of bacteria in his GI tract. They also found a mass near his kidney.

The best case scenario was that Jupe could possibly have a mass that wasnt cancerous near his kidney......but severely enlarged kidneys due to a really bad kidney infection.... and a GI tract infection..... and a really weakened immune system. So even under this best case scenario, the vet said Jupiter would have to be hospitalized for a few weeks in order to get all these infections under control....(and he was in so much pain straining in the litter box) but the vet and I both thought Jupiter was in too weak of a state to even have to go through that in the kind of pain he was in.... and how weak his immune system is... and how bad his separation anxiety is. She said even if they got all these infections under control, they would just come back since these past few infections progressed so quickly within days of being off AB's that wouldve treated a kidney infection. She said there had to be some kind of underlying cause....wether it was his kidneys failing.... or cancer. Either option, kidneys failing or cancer.... he would have continued to suffer.
Worst case scenario the mass was hemangiosarcoma (and its very likely since this type of cancer is so aggressive) and that his kidneys either had infection or cancer in them. If it was cancer, I dont think Jupe couldve went through surgery or chemo again (even if financial concernes werent an issue, I think his body was just too sick and weak).

He had just went off of antibiotics about a week before this last vet appointment so she thinks his immune system is shot since he has bacteria in his GI tract and possibly kidney infection. She said it would explain why hes been so sick lately.

I honestly think the cancer came back in january.....thats when the diabetes came back and thats when he started to seem to start feeling sick more again. I just wasnt sure why. I think Jupe held on for a long time for my sake. I think he was trying to wait til he thought I was okay. :( I will miss him more then words can explain.

Anyways Im having a really hard time with my decision. I keep questioning it. I just hated seeing my baby in pain and suffering. I apologize for this super long post, I just am not coping well and thought maybe sharing would help me cope a little better. Thank you all for all of your support. You have all been so kind and loving and generous to Jupiter and I ever since we started this journey. Thank you everyone for helping Jupiter and I have some extra time together <3 It means the world to me. I cant even begin to thank everyone enough and words dont do justice for the way I feel about Jupiter, and how grateful I am to everyone whos helped us along the way.


Extra special thanks to FDMB and LLEF and all of the people who have supported me these last few days and helped me get by and cope until I had enough strength and courage to post. (There are so so many of you that I want to individually and personally thank and will do in a few days. This post took me so long to write, and wasnt even sure I could ever even put this all in words. Im really struggling and everything is taking me so long to do)



ETA: just a thought that keeps popping back into my head that maybe I just need to get out so I can stop thinking about it..... I think what kills me the most.... I wouldve done anything and everything I couldve done if it meant him getting better. I just keep wondering if theres something more I couldve done for him. frown emoticon I just wanted him to be okay. I keep wondering what Jupiter was thinking... the person he loved most...and the person who loved him the most...let him go...because he was in pain.... I deal with kidney pain everyday so I keep looking at it like that...and it kills me.
 
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{{{Jamie}}}

I know it was hard to write that, but I hope it helped you release a little of the pain. Please don't question your decision. From everything you said, I am convinced you made the best possible choice for Jupiter's sake. It's hard to separate what's best for our beloved kitties from what our heart wants. You did that, and you should be proud of your strength and selflessness. Jupiter would want you to be happy now - happy you had him as long as you did, and happy that he is no longer suffering. He'll always be with you. Just hold him in your heart and know he's running around at the bridge with all the other kitties that have Gone Ahead. You'll see him again one day. Till then, he's watching over you. :bighug::bighug::bighug:

Fly free, sweet Jupiter, and land softly. :rb_icon:
 
This is what I posted on FB:
After Zener passed, the animal communicator connected with him and said he felt quite relieved to be out of his body. That has been comforting to me that we made the right decision. Like Zener with us, Jupiter stayed with you as long as he could.

Hugs to you, Jamie.
Liz
 
((Jamie)) my heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is to lose your best friend. When Scrabble passed I went through the same emotions, questioning myself whether I did the right thing. You will eventually come to peace with everything and know he is in a better place. I pray for peace for you. Look for signs from him because I am sure he will send them your way so you know he is ok. I also contacted an animal communicator and she made me feel so much better knowing he was happy and how much he loved me. Big hugs to you!
 
Hugs to you Jaime. Jupiter knows you did all you could. He is free of a failing body, and I am certain he is thankful for your final gift of love, letting him go. He will always be nearby, lodged away on that corner of your heart.

Fly Free Jupiter :rb_icon:
 
I'm so sorry Jamie, you were such a great momma to Jupiter. I know it's difficult, but don't question your decisions, you did the absolute best and most loving thing for your baby. I will add on my prayers for peace and comfort. Hugs.
 
(((((Jamie)))))

Any of us who have faced the decision to help our kitty cross the Bridge question that decision. Even if we sit down and look hard and long at quality of life issues and realize that we are making the right decision, we still question ourselves because our kitties can't tell us in exact words we can understand if we are doing right by them. They trust us to do the right thing. Ultimately, I think in your heart you know you did the right thing. For now, the grief is crushing. Grief passes. Even now, you are able to tell us of the things you love about Jupiter. Those are the memories you will cling to -- the ones that warm your heart and make you smile. And those memories are also what allow you to know that you made the decision to allow Jupiter to cross the Bridge with dignity and you didn't allow him to suffer. There is no greater kindness and no greater expression of your love for him.

A member of FDMB who no longer posts shared this fable of The Loving Ones with me. I hope it will ease your loss. It tell of why we choose tears.

Fly free Jupiter and land softly. There are many of our kitties at the Bridge to greet you and keep you safe until you are reunited with the one you love best.
 
((((Jamie)))) I am so sorry it was Jupiter's time to cross. :bighug::bighug: As one of many who followed your journey here with Jupiter, I watched how much you loved him. You've had to make many decisions in his life, and I believe you've always done the right thing by him. Jupiter loved you in return and knew you would make the right decision at the right time.
Fly free Jupiter - send your momma a sign that you made it to the Bridge. You are amongst friends now.cat_wings>o
 
Jamie, you did the most loving thing you could for Jupiter in letting him go. I know it wasn't an easy decision to make, but he's free of pain now and feeling good again. He knows how much you loved him. Sending you prayers for peace. Fly free sweet Jupiter. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Hi Jamie, my heart goes out to you. Those moments are so difficult. I remember Tizon's last day when I repeated myself that love and compassion was also the desire to end someone's suffering. It doesn't make it an easier to go through.
Jupiter, there will be lots of kitties on the other side of the rainbow bridge to welcome you and guide you. Know that you were well loved. Fly free beautiful kitty... fly free.
 
Jamie, I'm so sorry for the loss of Jupiter. Sounds like you made a compassionate and unselfish decision to let him fly freecat_wings>o. The pain of loss remains with you :bighug::bighug:, but Jupe is now free of pain and suffering.
 
Jamie - Don't ever second guess or question your decision. One day, when you are ready - re-read your post and your answers are right there in the post that you absolutely did the best thing for Jupe.

Jupe lived a full life with you. You took excellent care of him and had a very special bond and relationship. Jupe will always be with you in your heart and the one thing I wish for you, is that one day when you think of him or look at a photo of him, that you can smile. It will take time, but you will heal, your heart will heal and the pain will lessen.

You are not alone.
 
Grief.jpg
We miss Zener a lot and it's been over six months. This little saying helps me feel like grief is an act of love, and we move through grief at our own pace and to take as long as you need. I still see things on condos from time to time that start me crying all over again, though now it quickly shifts to loving memories of our guy.
Sending you lots of hugs. :bighug:
Anne
 
(((((Jamie)))))
Tears and love and hugs to you.
You feel Jupiter held on as long as he did for you waiting for you to be OK.
I think that's exactly what he did. And even though he was in pain, I think he was at peace with that and chose to wait for you to be ready.
So please don't feel bad about that. Believe that's what he wanted and chose to do.
You and Jupiter had such a strong bond and love for each other.
You were both brave, and you did everything and beyond for him. We all know that.
So, please have no regret.
I felt like I would die when I let Lucy go, and I didn't even want to ever be happy or smile again, but somehow my heart slowly healed.
Every time I felt like I was falling into the dark dark place, I reminded myself that I had promised Lucy I'd be OK, like you told your Jupiter you'd be OK.
Jupiter will be watching over you. He'll be with you even though you don't see him.
And he's happy and pain-free now.
I know it's not the same, but this thought will comfort you.
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
((((Jamie)))), of course you're deeply sad. Jupe is a big part of the person you've become; you both experienced MANY ups and downs together. It feels like a part of you is gone -- believe me, too many of us here know that feeling all too well.

But something that helped me, and continues to help me, is this: Jupe will ALWAYS be with you. You will always have a relationship with him ~ it's just different now.

This pain you're feeling will gradually be balanced with positivity. Look forward to the dreams you will have about him ~ they will feel like visits and fill your heart with joy. Soon you will be able to rewatch those wonderful videos of him post-surgery and smile and beam at his accomplishments. In the meantime, know that you aren't going through this alone. :bighug:
 
(((((((((Jamie))))))))))
I'll add to the chorus..... you did do the right thing.... and you listed those reasons......
I pray that I can be as brave as you when that day comes for me ( and it could be really soon)
We are Never Ready.... We always want another kiss... another cuddle....
and if they are suffering thru treatments that make them miserable, and surgeries.... then we are just doing it
for ourselves..... not for them.
We know that when we adopt a furry friend, that their lifespan is so much shorter than ours..... but the love
we feel with them fills that time, fills our hearts and it's so hard when it's over.
But the love lives on.... just the time together has stopped .... until we get to be together again.
You've got some tough days ahead but you will soon be able to just enjoy the memories....
If you can find something that you have enjoyed in the past.... and just do it....
my counselor kept telling me to fake it 'til you feel it....

Pryaers and hugs for you as you grieve. Grieving is natural and necessary.
I am so sorry for your loss. We were with you as you celebrated many victories with Jupiter.
And you gained more time and loved him all the more.
((((((((Jamie))))))))
Fly Free Jupiter :rb_icon:
 
We will always remember this strong and loving litte guy, he fought so hard he loved more then words can say for sure. Keep his in your heat and he will always be with you. Dont be hard on yourself you di a kind and.loving thing for him. Love and Hugs forever for you and Jupe...
 
Dear ((((Jamie))),
Your beautiful boy is flying free and sending you loving thoughts, thanking you for setting him free from his pain. We all must remember that our kitties know when their time comes. Jupe has begun a new adventure. But he will always be with you in that special place in your heart that belongs only to him.
Fly free, sweet Jupe, on your beautiful new golden wings. cat_wings>o You are much loved.

In deepest sympathy,
Ella & Edward, Rusty, and Stu (GA; welcoming Jupiter to the Bridge, where he has so many old pals)
 
Jamie, I never knew Jupiter but I was deeply saddened reading your post, my heart goes out to you for your loss :bighug:. I hope you find peace and comfort in the coming days knowing that you totally did make the right decision and I'm sure Jupiter thanked you for giving him that final act of unselfish love. Fly free sweet Jupiter your suffering is over. cat_wings>o
 
(((((Jamie))))). We are so very sorry ...I know what an incredible bond you have with Jupe and all you did for him at the sacrifice of your own health. I will always remember the video you posted of him after his amputation when he was jumping and playing. that is the memory I will always hold close when I think of Jupiter. He was uncommonly brave and strong but I think he was because he wanted to be with you.

Fly free, Jupe.

Be gentle with yourself, Jamie. You did the right thing.

lighttheway-1.gif
 
((((Jamie))))) I'm so sorry to hear this.

I think all those doubts and second-guessing are so normal - you loved him so much and would've done anything for your little guy. And knowing that, I am confident that you did exactly what you needed to do, at the time it was needed. No one could ever doubt your commitment to that sweet little Jupiter. It's hard losing these sweet cats - i felt the same way when Punkin passed. I knew it would be hard, but it was harder than I thought it would be. Time will ease things a bit, but you'll never stop loving him like you do right now. :bighug::bighug::bighug:

This was recently posted on Facebook.

9 THINGS YOUR DECEASED PET WANTS YOU TO KNOW

1. There’s nothing that could have been done differently
A Soul’s path is planned before they are born onto this Earth. This plan includes all possible exits from this world. And when the Soul leaves this Earth, know that this exit was part of their Soul’s plan and a specific choice made by their soul.

There’s nothing you, or anyone, could have done differently to save them. The time at which your Pet’s Spirit leaves this world is no one's doing, it’s no one's fault.

When it’s the Soul’s time to exit their physical body, everything that can be done, has already been done. Everything that needed to happen, did. Your pet wants you to know that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done differently, you did everything exactly right.

2. They chose you as their parent(s)
Just as the Soul chooses exit paths and plans for their life, your pet also selected you as their parent.

Your dog, your cat, your bird - chose you, as the one who would make them feel the most loved and bring them the most comfort and joy while they were here. And you did.

Your pet wants you know that you were and are the perfect parent.

3. They understand your sadness, but would rather see you happy
As a Spirit now, your pet knows that sadness is part of the grieving process, but they wished it wasn’t.

Remember how, when they were alive, they would snuggle up next to you, sitting by your side (or on top of you), whenever you were feeling sad or feeling bad? They wanted to make you feel better *just like you thought* and they wished they could do something to make you happy, then. And they still do, even now, They don’t want their exit to have brought pain, in fact, no one does. But they understand that this is part of the process.

They want you to remember the happy, love filled, and joyous times you spent together, and look back upon them with gratitude and thanks. They believe the time you spent together was a cherished gift and that this gift is a call for celebration - and smiles.


4. They know you loved them and hope you know they loved you back
Your pet doesn’t want you to wonder if they knew how much you loved them, they do.

It’s said that grief is the final gift of love given from one to another, and the depth of that grief is a measure of the strength of the love between the bond.

They know how deeply you loved them, and they want you to know that they loved you back in equal measure (if not more!).

5. They’re still right by your side
You aren’t alone. They aren’t gone forever - they’re still right by your side. And they always will be, if you let them. The Spirit World exists right alongside our physical world, and while your pet may no longer be occupying their physical body, they’re still with you in Spirit.

And remember, that’s who you loved in the first place. You loved their mannerisms, their attitude, and their personality - all elements of their Spirit. You didn’t love them for their fur, or their one standing straight up ear, or their snaggle teeth (ok, maybe you did a little). Mostly, you loved them for who they were as a Spirit, and that Spirit, still exists right beside you.

After they pass on, your pet wants you to know that they still cuddle up next to you, still join you on the couch, and still want to be with you, if you want that too.

6. They still want to do things with you
They’re still here, in Spirit form, and they still enjoy your company and want to do the things you always did together.

If they used to ride shotgun on car trips, or they used to love accompanying you on hikes, bike rides, or jogs, or they used to love sitting on your lap while you worked late at night - you pets wants you to know, they still enjoy doing those things, and still want to join you.

All you have to do to invite them along, is pat the couch beside you and encourage them to jump up, or give them the okay to hop out of the car and accompany you on the hike.

7. They don’t want you to regret the way that they died
This is a sad one, especially for us. Mama died suddenly and in my husband’s arms, and her final moments are images he can’t shake. And he’s not alone. Nearly all pet owners have some sadness or regret about their pet’s final moments.

If you had to carry your dog into the vet to be put to sleep, your dog does not want you to regret this choice. It was their choice, too, to be in your arms as they took their final breaths, and to be surrounded by your love as their Spirit left their body.

Your pet wants you to have no regret and to have no sadness, they want you to know that these were their choices, and you honored them perfectly. You did exactly what they wanted.

8. They know you often loved them more than you loved yourself
Even if you didn’t have proper food to eat, they know you somehow managed to buy them food and treats. Your pet knows that you often showered them in more love than you ever showed yourself. They know this, and they have deep gratitude for your love. This is exactly why you were the perfect choice as their parent, and they want to thank you, for loving them even when at times it seemed so hard to love anything at all.

9. They loved you more than they loved themselves
Your pet was an individual, too. They had things they felt badly about and things that they knew could be improved upon, and reasons, that they felt they were unworthy of love, just like we all do.

But you, you were always supportive, always loving, and always doting, even at times, when you thought you weren’t. Your pet loved you, and loves you, more than they ever loved themselves.

And if you’ll allow it, they’d like to still be a part of your life.

As for Mama, my husband, Tom and I are lucky. We are now at a stage in our lives where we can see, feel, and hear Spirit. Which means, even on the night of her passing, we saw her, felt her, and heard her around.

She’s still with us, just like your pet, is still with you.
And as I type this post, I can feel her big head on my leg, nudging to be pet.

You can learn to feel it too, and learn how to connect with your pet in their new, Spirit only form.

To get started, all you have to do is trust your intuition and your inner knowingness.

If you feel like you heard your dog’s claws tip tapping on the hardwood, you did.

If you feel like you saw your cat laying on the bed for a split second, you did.

Or if you’ve been crying, and you feel a heavy tingling sensation, leaning on you, you did.

It was them, wanting to comfort you. They want you to be happy again.​
 
I am so very sorry, Jamie. It is hard, very hard, to make such decisions for our babies. You have always put Jupiter first, though, and he knows that. He is not gone....he will always be with you, and always be part of you. Our prayers and deepest sympathies....
 
(((Jamie))) I'm so very sorry to hear about Jupiter. I've followed you and Jupiter and know that you did everything possible to help Jupiter. He was so loved and cared by you. It's the hardest thing to tell them it's okay to leave us, but as said above, it's a gift to them and frees them of their pain. Stay close to the friendships here, as you can feel the love and care for you from everyone. Fly free sweet Jupiter and send your Mom some signs. Prayers and hugs.
 
Jamie; I didn't know you or Jupiter, but reading your story has touched me deeply. Please don't 2nd guess your decisions; Jupiter had a most devoted, loving and caring champion in you. Of course your heart is broken, and will never be exactly the same; there is a Jupiter shaped wound but it will eventually be smoothed with memories of all the love and happy times you shared. He sounds like an amazingly brave and resilient kitty, and you are obviously a strong, caring woman. Hugs and bright light to you as you navigate this new path, but you are not alone, and Jupiter has many friends to keep him safe until you are reunited. :bighug:
 
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain it is causing you. Jupiter is very lucky to have such a wonderful mom that cares so deeply. Hugs :-(
 
(((Jamie))) I posted on FB the other day also but just wanted to add my sympathies for your having had to say goodbye on here. Jupiter was an extra special kitty, with an extra special mama bean. You are in my thoughts, and I'm sending many hugs to you:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Saying goodbye to a friend is always difficult. But letting them go, and freeing them of their physical ailments, is the bravest, most compassionate thing we can do as pet lovers. He was so fortunate to have a rich life full of love, and someone who cared enough to give him a dignified transition. I know he's flying free and frolicking with all of the others who have gone ahead, but I hope he takes a little time out to send you a sign that everything's alright to ease your mind and let you know that you made the right decisions. Be well :)
 
This brings tears of sadness for you, Jamie. It's so hard to let go of our fur babies. You were and are a fantastic mama! You are daring and compassionate and Jupiter was so lucky to have you! Hey Jupiter say hi to my beloved Shelby. He is the grey and white Persian in the catnip and butterfly garden. cat_wings>o
 
(((Jaime))) I'm so very sorry for your pain - it brings tears to my eyes. I remember you and Jupe and your agony when he was going through chemo and the eventual amputation. You gave him that extra time with you despite the difficulties, you always but Jupe first. You have been a fantastic mamabean to your boy. He knew he was loved. You did the right thing by him - please don't doubt that. My sincerest condolences.

Fly high and land softly sweet Jupiter.
 
Thank you everyone. I was going to post more of a reply at sometime, but I just cant. The vet called and left a voicemail that Jupiters ashes are ready to be picked up. I dont feel ready. Its going to make this all too real. :(
 
Jupiter sounds like he was a tough and hardy fellow worthy of being named after the king of all the planets.
 
Jamie, I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to Jupiter. It is such a hard time. You have been a wonderful mamabean to Jupiter and he obviously loved you a lot.
Collecting the ashes is hard. But you can keep them, and that is a comfort.
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
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