6/29 Butthead rose is blooming

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MJ+Donovan

MJ+Donovan

Member Since 2009
previous condo: http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=45939

The past few days have been highly emotional for me for various reasons.
While there is a strange comfort in having Butthead home with me, I'm still having bouts of extreme sadness.
Yesterday I received a sympathy card from the vets and technicians at Angell in Boston, and they all wrote nice notes about him. Reading that made me start sobbing again. Oddly, I had entertained thoughts of visiting an adoption center or two yesterday, not necessarily to adopt, but perhaps to fulfill my need to snuggle an orange and white boy again. I've been watching the local PetFinder listing for orange and white boy cats. Receiving the card, and its subsequent effects on me, made me rethink that. It is not something I should do now. I'm looking for Butthead, and he is not here, and no other cat should be made to feel he needs to try to be my Butthead. I continue to think I "see" him in his special places around the house, especially at night. I wish it were so...

Here is a photo of the Butthead rose, starting to open:

Yesterday I found two beautiful pots, one medium size and one larger for later, to transplant it into.

Donovan is doing well. Finally almost all of the sticky residue from his fentanyl patch is gone from his fur (what a PITA to remove - sorry Donny!), and while he still has issues eating sometimes, it doesn't stop him from trying. His BGs have been more green than blue recently (antijinx). He goes for a one-month re-check at the dental vet on Thursday. I need to ask her or his primary vet when would be a good time to do his bloodwork again to see if it has improved.

I am here, not posting much, still feeling very sad and detached, but be assured that I read as much as I can and keep all of you in my prayers. Treasure your precious babies. I have been working on a special little "project" for the GAs here, but had to stop for a while because it was too hard for me to do while Butthead was so ill and immediately after he left. If I have not already contacted you regarding your GA, please feel free to PM me. I don't want to miss anyone.

love to you all.
MJ&Donovan&Butthead's spirit
 

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Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

(((MJ))) Thank you for posting an update. I know how hard it is some days. Butthead's rose is so beautiful.

Everything you say in your post really hits home with me. I have read it a few times now. You have expressed so beautifully a lot of what I am feeling.

I don't want to hijack your condo, but I wanted to share a dream I had early this morning. In the dream, I was attending an FDMB reunion, and there were many people there. As I walked in, the crowd of people parted and there was my Bear Man, alive and well. They told me that they had been taking care of him for me. I think that this means that posting here in the community, and receiving the support back, keeps our babies' memories alive.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

HAPPY to read Donovan is doing better...and will continue to pray for him...

just letting you know that you and Donovan are never far away from my thoughts and prayers.....and i do hold Butthead close to my heart too...he was very gentle from the videos you shared with us...we all fell in love with him....he will NEVER be forgotten....

(((((MJ)))))
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

(((MJ))) I saw you online last night when I was. I think about you often and wonder how you are doing. Butthead's rose is beautiful. You think you see him because you DO! The other day I looked into the pantry where my GA Max loved to jump on the high shelves and I could have sworn I saw him and it's been 1-1/2 years. None of the other cats...not even Tobey....jump up there. It caused my heart to skip a beat, I am sure. Butthead is with you to comfort you and he will stay with you as long as you need.

I'm glad Donny is doing better. Sending major love!!
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

what a truly lovely post, MJ...

and a beautiful BH rose...

I too, think of you so very often...
you and your furbabies have touched so many of us so deeply...and i do believe
Mr. Butthead encompassed an indomitable spirit...
small wonder that you see him near...

and much love to you and the Captain from Binks and I!

celi
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

MJ,
My DH and I see Stu too, sometimes just a glimpse of him in the hallway, or running around a corner. And when I looked at his catmint plants yesterday I could see him clearly, lying there in the midst of them, his favorite place in the garden. (he wore a trench between these plants, he spent so much time there). Our GA kitties want us to know that they are OK and that they are watching over us. Butthead loves you and watches to make sure that you are OK. It is lovely to see that the first rose is opening.

We are glad that Donny's mouth is healing. You must be relieved at that.

Hugs from us,
Ella & Rusty

p.s. to Linda: that was a wonderful dream and surely a message from Bear Man.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

I don't think my Gracie and George are ever very far from me. I see glimpses of their personalities in Gabby and Gizmo. I have photos of them in places where only I typically see them. Our kitties share meaningful parts of our lives -- why wouldn't they be there when we need them most or just to make us smile?

I agree about that (expletive deleted) fentanyl patch. I will not allow my vet to do that again. Bupe is so much easier! I'm sorry Donny had to put up with the goo.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

Hi MJ - I too think of you often, and hope you are doing well. The rose is beautiful - what a vibrant red, a fine way to remember your guy. I am with the others - I know you see him because you really do. They are never far away, letting you know that they are there for you, to comfort you, to reassure you that they are OK.

I am glad that Donny is improving. I wish him well too, and hope he has a great follow up checkup this week.

Take care, hugs from all of us.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

((hugs)) Thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, MJ, as you heal from the loss of Butthead. He is definitely with you. It hasn't happened yet in our new place, but I would see her in the apartment all the time after she went to the bridge. Willie and I would be on the bed, and I'd see a shadow and hear her footprints. She's come to me in a dream here. It's been just over 7 months for us, and I'm just now feeling like I'm ready for another cat in the house... mainly because I think it would be better for Willie to have company during the day.

So glad to know that you are checking in on us and keeping us in your thoughts as well. Congrats to sweet Donny on getting that nasty icky patch off!
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

Thanks everyone.
At least here I don't feel so alone :-|
Now I'm finally going to sleep.
Chances are I will pass through the kitchen and see Butthead curled up on the counter next to the coffee maker (one of his favorite ni-ni spots); alas, it will actually be a loaf of bread or bag of rolls :roll:

MJ&Donovan&Butthead's spirit
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

Chances are I will pass through the kitchen and see Butthead curled up on the counter next to the coffee maker (one of his favorite ni-ni spots); alas, it will actually be a loaf of bread or bag of rolls
Click to expand...


ah but it will be the cutest bag of rolls ever!
((((MJ))) thank you for posting, we miss you lots, one day at a time right?
((((hugs))) to you
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

Hi MJ,
I just read your post this morning. Yesterday I could not get on the forum at all. It was a bad day. I have been thinking about you, and was concerned because I knew you were bringing Butthead home and that it would be emotional. What you said is so true - all of it - those of us with GA's all relate to what you're feeling.

I am so excited to watch Butthead's rose bloom! It looks like a deep vibrant red. How smart to buy two pots, for transplanting as it grows!

Also great report on Donny. I'm so glad he's making progress and got that darned patch off.

You are such a thoughtful person to be working on something for the GA's. Take your time, though. We all understand, believe me!

If you get a chance, visit my condo today. I think the video I posted might make you smile.

Love and hugs,
Sandy
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

((((((MJ)))))) Butthead's rose bud has a huge heart tug. How special. I understand detached also. I think of you often. Your special boy made me smile countless times. I wish I could have known him in person. I know they don't want us to hurt like we do. It is the price we pay for unconditional true love. Your boy will make you smile again and the part of your heart that aches will be filled with special memories.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

(((((MJ))))) You know I feel what you are feeling...Moonie is helping by being extra attentive to us, more than ever...We see Copper all around the house & I hear him..He feels very free now, not hurting or restricted in any way..But even feeling him here, knowing he is still here with us, it still doesnt make the hurt totally go away..
But you do need to give all that hurt and love now to Donny as he is still here & needs you so much..I'm sure he misses Butthead too-That's what has helped me, is to put more attention into Moonie and give her lots of love--I PRAY you get a sign from Butthead that is really solid, and will know that he really is around you--
My heart breaks with you--It doesnt get better, but the pain becomes a little less-Hugs from US!
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

this condo just went into my "saved" file due to all the lovely heartfelt posts.

what a beautiful tribute to our beloved GA's.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

pic of the Butthead rose taken this evening:

Wow, I really didn't anticipate these compliments to my post :?. It's just me feeling raw and hurting without my Butthead, not knowing where else to turn, and seeing him in a bag of rolls :roll:. Now if anyone besides you heard I have entertained thoughts of taking the Butthead Canister, placing it in his special Butthead carseat, and driving around with it, they'd probably send the nice men in white coats to take me away.

No, I haven't done that. Yet.
 

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Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

((((MJ))))
everything you are feeling is normal. When my 2 GA's left, I saw them everywhere for a while. It's so painful that it hurts physically. It will stop with time. When you have closure it will stop. You are far from crazy. Give Donny kisses and scritches from me, Alex & Jackson :)

Hugs and Love,xoxo

Caryl
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

(((((MJ))))) You made me smile. If Butthead were mine I sure would be taking the canister on a drive. He was so at home there. Its what a lot of us think about when we think of him I'm sure. So we won't send the men in white coats :lol:

When my dad passed, I bought a swarovski angel wings and have hung on my rear view mirror.
opplanet-swarovski-angel-wings.png


I was wishing you'd be posting an update on Butthead's rose. A slide show after it blooms will be a neat thing to watch.

Lots more hugs on their way MJ.
 
Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

The Butthead rose this evening:

It's hard to get a clear photo, and I didn't mention that yesterday I placed it on its side to try to get a better shot, and it fell off the table :shock:. I panicked, thinking I may have damaged the rose bud, but it was fine.

The person creating Butthead's special urn contacted me today to let me know it will be shipped at the end of the week, so perhaps he will not only have a special rose blooming but also a new resting place in time for his birthday on July 17. I know that is going to be an extraordinarily difficult day.

One moment at a time.

MJ&Donovan&Butthead's spirit
 

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Re: 6/26 Donovan/Butthead update

MJ, I think of you often and have wondered how you are doing. The rose is beautiful and I can't wait to see it in it's full bloom. Butthead was a special kitty and I know we all will remember him...his gentle spirit and big regal head. I thought about Butthead the other day, sitting in his little car seat. I always think I see my GA kitties and I do believe they are surrounding us and keeping us close.
 
I took this photo just a little while ago. Butthead's rose opened this morning.
 

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(((MJ))) What can any of us say to ease your pain? Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Glad Donnie is doing well.

Now if anyone besides you heard I have entertained thoughts of taking the Butthead Canister, placing it in his special Butthead carseat, and driving around with it, they'd probably send the nice men in white coats to take me away.
Click to expand...

If that will make you feel better, go for it. Deal with it however you need to we all understand your pain. We have all been there and will be there in the future as long as we continue to open our hearts to our furbabies.

The rose is beautiful. That is a sign from Butthead.
 
*tearing up* that rose just made my day. How special. He is sending you a special message there for sure. Blooming. Wow.

I read your post last night but didn't get back to reply. My heart was in my throat and then you said it was okay. And blooming today. How awesome. (((((MJ))))
 
i think going for a ride with the urn sounds just perfect. not a thing weird about it at all.

i read your first post and was thinking exactly the same conclusion you came to. when my beloved TC died, a sweet little tuxedo cat, i decided then i'd never get another black and white kitty because i was afraid i would always compare the new kitty to TC and the new one would never measure up. i waited a year before i got Felix, a tiger striped cat - and even then after a while my mom said to me that i needed to love Felix for Felix and not compare him to TC.

You'll know when you're ready - and a new cat will bless you in new ways, but Butthead will be the only one to hold the "Butthead Spot" in your heart. and that's not only ok, but is a good thing. He was special and deserves to be unique.
 
MJ,

Butthead's rose is precious! I'm so glad that it bloomed for you, but of course Butthead wouldn't have it any other way. When the time is right another kitty will come along that needs your love. You have much love to give, and they will be so lucky to have come to your family. Butthead will always hold that special special place in your heart.

Since the rose bush is so special maybe you should take a couple cuttings to keep it going just in case something was to happen to it.

Thanks for your update. You are always in our prayers and thoughts here. Your family.

Have a nice evening.

jan and sara
 
MJ,
I think of you and Butthead often....daily...and pray for you constantly....for all those who are feeling like you...i am glad you keep in touch and you can open a condo whenever you want....we are here for you always....so when you feel alone or feel misunderstood...come here and vent away....we understand and care for you....

the rose is beautiful....i'm glad you are taking pics and sharing with us....

sending HUGE HUGS your way!
 
((((MJ and Donnie and Buttheads spirit))))

Oh my gosh, I read all the post and just sobbed. It got so bad it was hard to see them. I think of you often and hope someday all our hearts will heal.
 
Me too, Cheryl. Me too.

The rose has a special beauty, sitting there in the sunlit window. It made me cry too.

I'll be glad when you get the urn, MJ, and I know the 17th will be rough. Maybe you can plan something special to remember him that day? I can't believe my girl has been gone two weeks today. I put a rose on her little grave every day.
 
You don't know me, I was here a few years ago with my beautiful Chloe who passed in '09 at age 11 from CRF. All you said reminded me of what a hard hard time it was for such a long time after losing her. Crying all the time, emailing, calling. I too thought of adopting but realized I just couldn't.

Now I have 2 kitties, Timmy and Cookie, 3 yrs old, brother and sister. Took them in as fosters to help someone. Needed a permanent home for them, couldn't find one. Then a wonderful person said she'd help with expenses (I have a small income) - what a gift they are, make me laugh all the time. Never will replace my Chloe, but they're a blessing. Yes wait til you've healed a bit. Then fate will probably take over.

I hope you get a sign from your Butthead. I got some from Chloe. Felt her brush against my legs several times and each time, could not explain it any other way. Thrilling.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly -- it's gut wrenching. You put it so well and it's good to share.
Sincere sympathy and wishes for a sign from your Butthead.

dee bee & timmy & cookie
 
it may be a moot point, cuz i think y'all would agree that in the "Madding Crowd" the attendants would slap me into the jacket first,

but when we drove the "Big Orange Truck" on our relocation to Boise last June...Binks rode on the seat curled up next to Sean(GA) & Homie(GA) in their urns.

I don't know if he is aware of what the urns contain...but either he is, or he senses my reverence,
because he gently wends his way around them where they sit on the mantle at least once a week.

(and yes...i talked to all 3 of them on the drive)

I think a drive with Da Butthead might be a great idea...

tiger hugs to you and Cap'n Donny, MJ...

celi
 
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