5/29 6 mo old unsocialized cat training advice

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rhiannon and shadow (GA)

rhiannon and shadow (GA)

Member Since 2012
Last week we adopted a almost 6 month old maine coon mix...

she's been in foster care but the caregiver wasn't interacting with her.... apparently too busy with work/school and tired when she got home....

she does like to be pet maybe once a day....by my son, her new bean....

the shelter took her back... to another foster who had her 3 days before we got her.....
so she has had a lot of transitioning.....


last night, my son didn't get to pet her as usual..... she wouldn't stop hissing.... so he backed off....and she isn't really recognizing the treats.....
I gave him some of my freeze dried.... of course, and some jerky....

we will have to find something that gets her attention....

she mostly lays inside the tube of a cat tower..... will chase a toy a little.... and will bat a toy around.....


Should we just give her more time?

I was reading about feral cats and how to wrap them in a towel.... reward them with brushing or food for letting you pet them....
but not to just wait for them to cooperate....
start the interaction after about a week...

anyone have different ideas?
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

I would give her more time. She has been through a lot so she probably is still adjusting. It may take time for her to feel comfortable in your home and begin trusting you and your son.

Since she does allow your son to occasionally pet her, that is a good sign. As long as he does not try to force himself on her, she most likely will begin to trust him more and come to him when she is ready. Unless she is diabetic and you need to test her, I would not recommend wrapping her up. That is more likely to frighten her more and make it harder to trust you. Instead, if she is having one of her moody days, talk softly to her and still try to encourage her with treats or food. She will soon associate you and your son with food and that will help with the transition.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Patience. Lots and lots of Patience.

My semi-feral civie Dancer didn't want to let me come near her. She wouldn't hiss or spit or become aggressive, but she would hide and was extremely skittish.

I sat down on the floor and talked to her a lot and could tempt her with some rotisserie chicken. Move slowly. No loud noises if you can help it. Speak softly and tell your new kitty how happy you are to have her as part of your family. It will take time to gain her trust.

It took me at least 2 months to get skittish Dancer coming to me. One trick that worked and made her feel more comfortable was to lie down, on the floor, on the bed, on the sofa. I guess I was less intimidating when I was lying down. ;-)
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

I'm in the "sit quietly in the room and let the kitty come to you" group.

Kittens are naturally curious, so if he sits quietly in the room talking softly, and maybe playing with a peacock feather or some other small toy, she should gradually lose her fear and want to find out what he's got. As she comes out to investigate, a little treat put down a little in front of her to encourage her to take another step forward too.

Getting another well socialized kitten to come in can help too....if this kitty didn't learn to socialize while it was still with it's littermates, sometimes having another kitten "teach" those skills will help.....maybe you can arrange some "play dates"

Good luck...mostly it's just time and patience until they learn they can trust again
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Michelangelo was a semi-feral kitten (8 weeks old when he was rescued from a feral cat colony because his mom abandoned him). And he was diagnosed diabetic at 6 months old. :lol:

The best tip I can give you is learn her threshold, for pettings, socialization, lots of noise, etc.... Give her space and back off for a bit when necessary. Then, slowly push past her threshold. At first, you might only get to give her a pat on the head, then two pats, then two pats and a pet. It's a lot like introducing two cats who don't get along initially: separate them and then do a slow introduction, increasing contact a little bit each time.

You might have to deal with this "tentative" nature the rest of her life to varying degrees. Mikey is now 2 years old. I just moved a couple of months ago for the first time since I got him. It took me the entire first month to get him come out of my room. He still won't go into the dining room or kitchen at this point, but each day, I inch his food dish further and further out from where it first started at in my room (one of his "safe" zones). My previous feral, Patrick, by the time he was about 3 or so, became almost "normal" (whatever that might be for a cat). He still didn't like big ruckuses (ruckusi?) or strangers, but he would hang out with you and let you pet him and sometimes even snuggle up with him.

ETA: I forgot to add I also "deconditioned" him about once a day by locking him out of my bedroom for 15 minutes to a half hour and increasing the time each day a little bit more. Today, he's been locked out of my room the whole day and hasn't meowed to get back in once.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

I foster and tame a lot of feral kittens. Trying to 'tame' a 6 month old truly FERAL kitten is not going to happen in even 6 months time. You need to find out if the adolescent cat was ever socialized, if he has ever been held by anyone at all. If not, it is a very long road to being able to pick him up, let alone pet him.

He needs to be kept in a smaller bathroom, one where he is confined and feels safe. A bedroom is WAY too much space and will put the 'fight or flight' into full gear. He'll either hide under the bed, under a chair, ANYTHING to get away from people.

In a smaller bathroom you get to control the situation. FOOD is your friend in taming a feral cat. You put him in the bathroom with his toys his litter box, his climbing tree or scratching post, and most importantly a bed that he can call his own. You get to pet him when he is eating, two times a day.. slowly, slowly, this is how you go about getting him used to you. I would keep him in the bathroom for at least one month. I AM SERIOUS. You need to isolate him and visit him during the day with small treats and keep trying to pet him.

Never, ever try to stare down a cat. That's what they do to each other when they are going to fight. You want to acknowledge the cat by blinking softly at him, and speaking softly to him. If you find he likes behind his ears scritched better than petting his back or tummy, you have to do what the cat wants and likes.

It takes a long time to tame a unsocialized cat. You have to be really committed to it and not give up. Eventually, they do come around, but it's on their terms and not when you want them to be tame.

I pray you have much success with your new family member and it was a wonderful thing that you adopted a rescue cat that needs help.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Chris & China said:
Getting another well socialized kitten to come in can help too....if this kitty didn't learn to socialize while it was still with it's littermates, sometimes having another kitten "teach" those skills will help"
Click to expand...

YES! I couldn't agree more! I specifically got Henry (a four-month old raised with his mom, siblings, and dogs) to help with Michelangelo's adjustment process. He really helps Mikey not be as fearful and be more adventurous and taught Mikey about boundaries and self-control. Also, an excellent energy burner! Too much energy can cause further aggressiveness and/or anxiety. I saw a literal overnight difference for the better after Henry joined us. Luckily with kittens under a year old, they usually adapt to new members of the household fairly well.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

we can't lock her in the bathroom...
we have my 90 dgm living with us and that's her bathroom too.....

she's currently in my son's room...and he's blocked off half the space under the bed so she can't get out of reach....
he's just not reaching for her or picking her up.....
she mostly stays in the tube in her tower.... she likes to stretch out inside it.... but it gives her a place to feel is hers....
she's just not friendly at all...

we'll continue the go slow approach but I fear eventually we will have to push her a little.....

the advice I've seen online for feral kittens is to wrap them in a towel and touch them for a short limited time each day.... get them used to you....
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Yes, wrapping in a towel might work...or it might cause them to freak out more. I tried that once with Michelangelo and he ended up spazzing out and peeing everywhere in fear. I couldn't go near him for hours after that! He was so cowed by the experience that it nearly broke my heart.

Exactly how anti-social/feral is she? She just doesn't like being around people? She doesn't like being pet? She bites and claws? Does she attack when threatened?
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

You might use these methods developed by Best Friends of Kanab, UT after Hurricane Katrina. Many of the cats rescued then had reverted to a 'wild type' from being through a hurricane and displaced into totally different surroundings, lack of food, chaos, etc.

Socializing Very Shy or Fearful Cats Note that this does NOT say 'feral' cats.

I used some of this with civvie Moppet. Her person didn't keep working with her after trap and spay ... for 5 years. Then she was going to move and couldn't handle Moppet. I took her, crated her in a medium crate and worked with her every day. The crate was as much to protect her from the other cats here, as it was to make sure I could always find and interact with her daily. After 6 months, I let her out in the house. It has been many years ... and Moppet sleeps next to me. Recently, she has jumped on the couch with me for a few moments (food please!) and let me pet her some.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

I have a cat rescue, Kitty Karma Refuge, and I trap and tame feral kittens.

A six month old cat is not a kitten, it's an adolescent cat. Cats after 8 weeks of age nearly impossible to tame in even one year's time. If you can't use the bathroom to help tame the cat, do you have a walk-in closet that you could use? You really need to keep the cat isolated for it's own good. It will feel much, much, safer that way. The cat does not feel safe right now and it trusts no one, and that is why she won't come out of that tube...

Getting another 'tame' cat to help socialize this cat will not work. It doesn't work that way. Another cat around that she doesn't know, and doesn't know what might do to her will make her feel even more afraid.

I HAVE tamed a six month old, completely feral cat before. You have to have a lot of loving kindness, patience, and time to do this.

Can you take this cat back to the shelter, or give it back to your friend who gave it to you? Seriously, it sounds like your household is not equipped to deal with this cat. Please do not feel bad about it because there are many, many other cats who desperately need a loving home who are sitting at the shelter waiting to be adopted. You really need to spend some time at the shelter next time with the cat before you bring it home to make sure that it is completely socialized to humans.

This cat you currently have may or may not get a chance, but it definitely needs to be with the right person in the right situation.

BUT---- I recommend that you do NOT get ONE very young kitten, under six months of age, either. If you want a kitten, bring home two kittens, preferably a bonded pair. That means that the two kittens chose each other, not that you chose to put them together. Cats are social creatures and the majority of them want to be around their own kind, another cat, not a dog!

Small, very young kittens will destroy almost everything in your house too. They will claw furniture, wood, fabric, etc.. chew on your shoes, clothes, anything that they want to chew on. They have very sharp claws and when they play they don't really know how not to use them. Young kittens will also cry, and cry, and cry all night long, and sometimes all day long too, for their litter mates and mom. It doesn't really help to be their with them when they cry, they will still cry because they miss their family.

If you want to add only one cat member to your family, consider another one that is six months or older, truly socialized to humans, LIKES humans, and wants to spend time with humans. But I still think it's better to adopt them in pairs, even if they are older cats.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

I don't see this as a feral cat at all...I see it as a youngster who didn't get the socialization skills it needed to bond with people, but had evidently lived with them since it was in foster care. The first foster didn't spend any time with the cat, so her socialization is stunted, but I think she can learn to trust ....she's just never been given the time.

Then she went back to the shelter, then to another foster home for 3 days and then finally, home to you guys. At this point, she's probably wondering what's going to happen to her next!!

I think if you just give her time to relax, don't push anything too quickly on her, and spend time in the room with her quietly talking, singing, humming and maybe playing with a cool cat toy (but not actively playing with the cat), the fact that the voices are soothing, nobody's forcing her to do anything, and her natural curiosity will slowly bring her out of her shell. Keeping some yummy treats close by to reward her for moving towards you will be useful too.

And I still think Play dates with a like aged kitten could help...if she wasn't taught boundaries and self control by her littermates, having "play dates" with a normally adjusted kitten could help by burning off some energy, as well as teaching her what is and what isn't appropriate actions during play....like how hard of a bite it too hard...those are things they usually learn while still with their siblings. Also, having a well adjusted kitten interacting with the humans will show her that humans aren't something she needs to be afraid of either.

Good luck though! Patience and time are the best healers.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Chris & China said:
I don't see this as a feral cat at all...I see it as a youngster who didn't get the socialization skills it needed to bond with people, but had evidently lived with them since it was in foster care. The first foster didn't spend any time with the cat, so her socialization is stunted, but I think she can learn to trust ....she's just never been given the time.
Click to expand...

This was my impression as well. If she's truly feral, then Tina is right: it will take a lot of time and patience and you need to start over from scratch. If she's just severely anti-social, then it will still take time and patience, but you don't have to be as rigid with the basics. Give her time to become familiar with her new environment and her new peoples. Wait for her to realize she's not going to get shipped off again. Play next to her to encourage her to join in. Give plenty of treats for positive re-enforcement. Use food to manipulate her behavior. And learn when to back off and leave her be for a bit.

That last one is really important. I've noticed with all cats (even Henry), they're much like children and can get "stuck in a moment" that you either have to snap them out of or just wait for them to get over it. In Henry's case, he gets super intent on kneading and cannot be deterred from it (a positive example). In Mikey's case, he sometimes get's a "bug up his arse" and runs around looking for a fight. If I can't distract him from it with food or treats or play, then I have to just ignore him till he gets over whatever issue he's tripping on. For Mikey, it's usually because he's become overstimulated by something (loud noises and lots of people are the biggest instigators). It's almost like he's autistic in that sense. So also try to be aware of what sets her off.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

Hi Rhiannon,
I'm not a frequent poster here, but I'm a daily "lurker". I do try, however, to offer advice when I feel I have some experience in the subject posted. I have fostered many feral and semi-feral cats from kittens to adolescents to adults with varying success, but never any failures. Some have ended up as lap kitties and some enjoy human attention but would never dream of getting up on the couch with anyone. I would have to say that much depends on the cats temperament and the amount of time spent socializing the cat. I've had cats respond quickly and some take a year. To your benefit the cat you have adopted is a Maine Coon which is known for it's social, sweet temperament. And your new kitty is not really feral (unless it was recently picked up and not handled at all), it just hasn't been socialized properly.

I would NOT suggest you wrap the cat in a towel and reward it with attention and treats. To a non-socialized cat, attention is NOT a reward until they learn that human touch is pleasant. And wrapping it up and restraining it can be traumatizing which it will then associate with the person who has restrained it. Instead, I would do what others have suggested and spend time in the room with it even if it's just reading, watching TV, playing video games...anything really so it gets used to a person being with it in a non-threatening way. Spend lots of time talking gently to it so it gets used to your voice. I would also slowly approach it and back off so it gets used to being approached. I usually don't back up if I'm hissed at (unless I'm in danger of being hurt) because I don't want to "reward" the cat for hissing at me. I try to be sure that there are very few "hiding" places so the cat has to see me when I'm in the room. Eventually, I touch the kitty briefly, then more each time as it becomes more accustomed to my interactions.

I also don't free feed cats I'm trying to socialize. I want them to associate me with food and feeding. I approach the cat with food, place it nearby so they can see me with the food, and back up so it can eat (but I remain in the room while it's eating).

Using toys and treats is always helpful as long as the cat isn't frightened by the toys. Using a string toy at a distance at first might be enticing. Then closer as the cat gets more accustomed to it.

I'm not sure about using another socialized cat/kitten to help with socializing. You may find that you're left trying to introduce a another cat (which can present it's own new challenges) or your cat bonds with the new, socialized cat and not with you.

Lastly, I always have Feliway diffusers on hand. It's a natural, "feel good" pheromone. I get mine through Amazon (it's cheaper).

I'm no expert, but these techniques have worked for me. Socializing your new kitty may take some time, but it can be really rewarding when you end up with a new "best friend". Only you can decide if you want to put in the time and effort to socialize the kitty. I have 12 kitties living with me now that ALL started off as feral or semi-feral (including my diabetic) and each one has come around in their own way and in their own time, but always loyal and grateful and consider me "mom".
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

HeidiandMax said:
I'm not sure about using another socialized cat/kitten to help with socializing. You may find that you're left trying to introduce a another cat (which can present it's own new challenges) or your cat bonds with the new, socialized cat and not with you.
Click to expand...

I should clarify: don't get a new cat immediately. Wait till she's come out of her shell a little bit and starts bonding better with your son and/or others. I waited till Michelangelo was about 7 months old before considering him (and me) "ready" for another kitten. Even then, I made sure I wasn't getting another "problem" kitten/cat and I looked for one that was already well-socialized with other cats.
 
Re: 5/29 6 mo old semi feral cat training advice

thanks for all the ideas.

getting another cat isn't going to happen. As expected, Shadow isn't happy that this one is in the house.

I have read thru the link that BJM provided.... and decided to try that to see what the response was.

I actually had a cage built for Shadow years ago.... because she always sat at our glass front door watching me pull weeds and acted like she
wanted to be where I was. But there was no way I would let her out freely, too many risks.
So she could come out with me , she could sit in the cage.... feel the grass, smell the air..... but she hated it.

The cage is just right for what the article said.
I bought gloves (for roses) and yesterday we decided we would catch the cat and see what she did.
She basically had 4 spots to run to and we spent a while trying to cover them hoping she would run out the door into the hall ( with all the other doors closed)
With gloves on, I finally caught her and picked her up by her scruff and she managed to flip herself and bite me thru the gloves.
Yes! I scrubbed the bites and medicated them and am watching them. I've been bitten before.

She finally ran away and jumped in the window sill where I took a floor mat and covered her with it behind the curtain.... disconnected
the curtain ( thankfully the curtain had clips) and carried her in the rug to the cage.

We expected she would be hostile now but she is showing all the signs of a relaxed or curious cat....She sat in a relaxed position, both ears up.
And we could pet her thru the cage.
The dogs got to see her and she saw them.... no negative response.
And eventually Shadow saw her, got close, and Shadow's body language was nervous and even scared when she lashed out at the cage.
So as I expected, the two aren't likely to be friendly and we will keep the house partitioned.

The new kitten ( I wish he would pick a name for her) seems to be comfortable in the cage for now.
And my son was able to open the cage and pet her. And I did that once too, no negative response then.
But when I walk in the room later to bring her cat-sip she saw me and started hissing again.....
That is why I was the bad guy, so that she would see my son as her bean. ( plus he's afraid of being bitten and I'm not)

so we will continue the process....
I don't think we have to do the petting with objects.... we are just skipping to the middle....

He took her back out in the hall at 2 am and played with her with strings and toys where she couldn't hide under any furniture.
We will work on filling in all the hidey holes in his room.

And of course, I will work on getting her to not be afraid of me but I feel like we are already in a better place.
 
Introductions, if done very gradually, may go much better than direct exposure.
 
we weren't really intending for the two cats to meet.... my son is supposed to graduate next December and hopefully get a job.

the goal is currently to socialize the young cat.
I have gone in several times today... and petted her... mostly her head.... and she really likes having the insides of her ears rubbed....
she forgets that I'm the one doing it since she hisses the moment she sees me.... and meows too.... ambivalence....scared nervous but wanting interaction.

I think she's just so used to the only time someone touched her she was getting put in a carrier....
now if we can just figure out what treat gets her excited....


my son has her in the hallway currently for some string time....
 
That doesn't sound like a totally feral cat to me. A feral cat would have nothing do to with 'string play.' A feral cat would scratch your arm off if you tried to scritch her ears. It does sound like she needs a lot of human socialization, but it seems your family is determined to give that to her too. :-D
 
Hello,

Just wanted to offer some encouragement.

Our completely feral tortie girl, Sophie, came from a rescue centre in the UK. We'd gone to the centre in hopes of being able to re-home an old cat. But we saw this shivering bundle huddling in the corner of a cage. Her age was estimated to be around 5 months. There was a sign hanging on the cage saying "Only to be rehomed by someone who understands nervous cats." Well...we couldn't leave her there...

We were told that we may hardly ever see her (she'd be an indoor/outdoor cat, and would rarely want to be at home); that it would be hard to stroke her, and that she would never ever sit on our laps.

Well....

Yes, it took a lot of time and patience to earn her trust. But this did happen over time.

She learned to love being groomed. And then she started sleeping on our bed. And then she would snuggle up to me when I was sitting on the couch. And finally....she got the confidence to come up onto my lap... (Yay!)
She's about 16 years old now and follows me round like my shadow (she's sleeping right next to the keyboard as I write this). In fact just lately, maybe because she's getting a little old and dotty, she gets a little anxious when I'm not around.

She is the sweetest little darling of a cat. And we adore her. We are so glad we brought that shivering bundle home with us that day.

Eliz
 
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