Rose
Member Since 2015
Zoey has been gone a week today. I cannot begin to tell you how much we miss her. She had consumed so much of our lives lately that it’s hard not to think about her when we hear the alarm go off, or riding down the road or feeding her sisters. I have to tell you that there was more to the story than I’ve previously shared.
When we rushed Zoey to the vet, I did not go in with DH. I was beside myself with grief because I just knew that I facilitated her demise with a bad decision to shoot below 200 and not checking to be sure she was on the rise. So, I sat in the truck crying and DH came out and told me that the vets had conferred and that with all that Zoey was facing and what I shot, that it would take at least 3 days of in-hospital treatment and that considering all of the obstacles before us, we would not financially be able to continue to treat her. So DH and I made the decision to let her go.
As it turns out, the Great Vet was not there that fateful day. It was the Aspiring Vet and Dr. Google. They never checked Zoey’s BG the entire 45 minutes she was in there, and she never went into seizures or anything else. For all I know she could have started coming back up. DH didn’t think about all of those things during his onset of grief and he trusted everything that was being said by Dr. Google. Personally, I think Dr. Google said it would take three days because it was not his protocol and he did not understand the way Lantus worked. Of course, this new knowledge was heartbreaking to me because I felt I had let Zoey down by not getting out of the truck and facing what was before me. I was so overcome by the thought of my mistake that I gave in to it and wasn’t there for the next important decision. There’s a lesson there: Face your fears.
So, needless to say the past week has been filled with a great deal of remorse and reflection. In memory of our precious Zoe Zoe, I wanted to share some of those reflections:
1) We have been facing financial upheaval that was thrust upon us just days before Zoey’s diagnosis. Her illness allowed us to focus on something other than the calamity that has ensued and it gave us time to let the dust settle and has saved us from burning bridges that were best left intact. It’s better to act than to react.
2) Before Zoey’s diagnosis we were never home. That’s how she got so far along with her diabetes that she developed neuropathy – we weren’t here to see the signs. In the aftermath, being committed to her made us stay home and reevaluate our priorities and take stock in what we have. Appreciate what you have and count your blessings.
3) Before Zoey got sick she was always claustrophobic. In her 14 years, you could never hold her more than a few seconds before she would want to get down. After she got sick she was the most loving cat and wanted in our laps and to be with us as much as she could. She slept with us, traveled with us and wanted to be in the same room with us. That little cat illustrated that you really should spend as much time with those who matter most before it’s too late; and it’s never too late to show how much you care – it’s what will be remembered the most when you’re gone. Take time to love and be loved.
4) This is a big one for me, personally: Mistakes are going to happen and we have to remind ourselves that even those with the best of hearts are going to make them and we have to forgive. Judge less, forgive more.
5) And wait for it … Vets are human. They are trained to do a job and if they are not open minded and willing to listen, we should accept that or move on and not try and convince them of anything different. If they have partners who also don’t believe in you, move on. You can’t blame them, you can’t force them – it’s their choice and their right. This is a litigious world we live in today and good intentions are often rewarded with lawsuits. People are hesitant to try new things or offer advice because the horror stories are out there. I work in the legal field. I know how it works and I appreciate all who dare to venture into the world of good deeds and trying something new. It’s a gamble and some just aren’t willing to take that risk. I’ve been too hard on the vets and made a mistake in assuming the Great Vet would always be in control. You’re only as strong as your weakest link and in our case, Dr. Google was the weakest link. Trust and honor your convictions.
6) When your world is filled with darkness, you have to look for the light. The posts and interactions, the candles and the sympathies – they were all little pieces of light that lit up our dark world (dark from things you knew nothing about) and reminded us of the goodness of strangers and that kindness and sacrifice for others still exists (Just think of the time the moderators and advisors put into this site). It’s very easy to focus on the negative and see only the bad in people and in life – but there’s much more out there and Zoey’s sickness brought that to the forefront for us. Always look for the light in a moment of darkness.
7) And lastly: You cannot will the impossible. I foolishly made a statement that we were due a win and Zoey was our win. Turns out, Zoey was our ship during a storm. She kept us focused on what mattered, allowed us to slow down and rechart our course, and reminded us to love and appreciate what we have while we have it. Be humble and thankful.
There’s no doubt that Zoey will always have a special place in our hearts and that we are better today because of the experience of these past few months: Interacting with each of you and embracing the heartaches and lessons before us; so always look for the good in every bad situation, never give in before the last breath, learn to find something positive to focus on and make lemonade out of lemons at every chance – oh, and continue to light up the dark. That’s what I hope everyone takes away from their time with Zoey.
Thank you all for being such wonderful dance partners!
When we rushed Zoey to the vet, I did not go in with DH. I was beside myself with grief because I just knew that I facilitated her demise with a bad decision to shoot below 200 and not checking to be sure she was on the rise. So, I sat in the truck crying and DH came out and told me that the vets had conferred and that with all that Zoey was facing and what I shot, that it would take at least 3 days of in-hospital treatment and that considering all of the obstacles before us, we would not financially be able to continue to treat her. So DH and I made the decision to let her go.
As it turns out, the Great Vet was not there that fateful day. It was the Aspiring Vet and Dr. Google. They never checked Zoey’s BG the entire 45 minutes she was in there, and she never went into seizures or anything else. For all I know she could have started coming back up. DH didn’t think about all of those things during his onset of grief and he trusted everything that was being said by Dr. Google. Personally, I think Dr. Google said it would take three days because it was not his protocol and he did not understand the way Lantus worked. Of course, this new knowledge was heartbreaking to me because I felt I had let Zoey down by not getting out of the truck and facing what was before me. I was so overcome by the thought of my mistake that I gave in to it and wasn’t there for the next important decision. There’s a lesson there: Face your fears.
So, needless to say the past week has been filled with a great deal of remorse and reflection. In memory of our precious Zoe Zoe, I wanted to share some of those reflections:
1) We have been facing financial upheaval that was thrust upon us just days before Zoey’s diagnosis. Her illness allowed us to focus on something other than the calamity that has ensued and it gave us time to let the dust settle and has saved us from burning bridges that were best left intact. It’s better to act than to react.
2) Before Zoey’s diagnosis we were never home. That’s how she got so far along with her diabetes that she developed neuropathy – we weren’t here to see the signs. In the aftermath, being committed to her made us stay home and reevaluate our priorities and take stock in what we have. Appreciate what you have and count your blessings.
3) Before Zoey got sick she was always claustrophobic. In her 14 years, you could never hold her more than a few seconds before she would want to get down. After she got sick she was the most loving cat and wanted in our laps and to be with us as much as she could. She slept with us, traveled with us and wanted to be in the same room with us. That little cat illustrated that you really should spend as much time with those who matter most before it’s too late; and it’s never too late to show how much you care – it’s what will be remembered the most when you’re gone. Take time to love and be loved.
4) This is a big one for me, personally: Mistakes are going to happen and we have to remind ourselves that even those with the best of hearts are going to make them and we have to forgive. Judge less, forgive more.
5) And wait for it … Vets are human. They are trained to do a job and if they are not open minded and willing to listen, we should accept that or move on and not try and convince them of anything different. If they have partners who also don’t believe in you, move on. You can’t blame them, you can’t force them – it’s their choice and their right. This is a litigious world we live in today and good intentions are often rewarded with lawsuits. People are hesitant to try new things or offer advice because the horror stories are out there. I work in the legal field. I know how it works and I appreciate all who dare to venture into the world of good deeds and trying something new. It’s a gamble and some just aren’t willing to take that risk. I’ve been too hard on the vets and made a mistake in assuming the Great Vet would always be in control. You’re only as strong as your weakest link and in our case, Dr. Google was the weakest link. Trust and honor your convictions.
6) When your world is filled with darkness, you have to look for the light. The posts and interactions, the candles and the sympathies – they were all little pieces of light that lit up our dark world (dark from things you knew nothing about) and reminded us of the goodness of strangers and that kindness and sacrifice for others still exists (Just think of the time the moderators and advisors put into this site). It’s very easy to focus on the negative and see only the bad in people and in life – but there’s much more out there and Zoey’s sickness brought that to the forefront for us. Always look for the light in a moment of darkness.
7) And lastly: You cannot will the impossible. I foolishly made a statement that we were due a win and Zoey was our win. Turns out, Zoey was our ship during a storm. She kept us focused on what mattered, allowed us to slow down and rechart our course, and reminded us to love and appreciate what we have while we have it. Be humble and thankful.
There’s no doubt that Zoey will always have a special place in our hearts and that we are better today because of the experience of these past few months: Interacting with each of you and embracing the heartaches and lessons before us; so always look for the good in every bad situation, never give in before the last breath, learn to find something positive to focus on and make lemonade out of lemons at every chance – oh, and continue to light up the dark. That’s what I hope everyone takes away from their time with Zoey.
Thank you all for being such wonderful dance partners!
