5/13 H

Sadly, here's the deal:

I think most of you know H and I have engaged in the good fight. In light of his most aggressive GI lymphoma we chose the chemo-lite approach. I wanted to give him as many good days as possible and not poison him and have his last days be sick f*ed up days. H is now down the 6Kg from a peak of 6.6Kg a couple months ago. He seems to not have been able to recover from the sick/explosive diarrhea and vomiting episode he had a month or so back. At his choice, he's been eating almost entirely all dry EVO [I know the horror!!!]. So at least I know the problem is not the home cooked. I tried switching to the mirtazapine and that went nowhere. All the tricks that have worked in the past are not coming though now. He has not wanted to eat much the past couple days. Things are not looking good. He's also refusing to play at this point and that is NOT good. I'm about to try some buprenorphine on him to test if he is in pain. Anyway, things are not looking good. I hope you all will understand if I'm unable to keep up with thing in PZI land. I self medicated my own anxiety with ativan and plenty of beer today - I feel a little better now @-) . Tomorrow a friend is coming over to help me wash him as he has been unable to keep up with his own upkeep and I do not want him feeling grody at this point. I did try the liv-a-littles [for H not me!] and he was interested but it was only for the treats and lost the power once they were mixed with food. There appear another cheaper brand of freeze dried chicken at Petco FYI. Anyway, please don't depend on me here for the near term - I'm a mess at best. There are many relative newcomers to the PZI game that are better at it than I am anyway. Don't ever give into those damn Lantus proselytizers [ok that's just the beer talking at this point ;-) ]

As usual, I welcome any input from my PZI family.

https://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key ... XYwVFJ4M0E

 

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize H was so sick. Knowing the way you spend so much time helping others, I'm absolutely positive you've done your best for him. Will keep you and H in thoughts and prayers. I'm sure everyone would understand the self medicating, but do take care.

 

just hugs

 

{{{Hugs}}} You've done an amazing job with H.

 

Hey all, thanks. Thinks are looking dire this morning. He was meat loafed, his head was kind of moving funny and he was weak. I'm pretty heartbroken. I gave him .2ml buprenorphine to a) test if he was in pain and b) alleviate any pain he may be in. He's pretty loaded right now which I guess it good. I'm just trying to spend as much time with him and feed him all the liv-a-little we have left. Went out an cut a bunch of fresh cat nips for him. Maybe do a little reading together before we go to the vet late today.

Thank you all for jumping in and and helping out with the new kids on the block. Your support means the world.

 

Hugs here too.. You are awesome and a great mom!! Thanks so much for taking the time out to help me and others :mrgreen:

 

Justin-

I am so sorry to hear about H. I know you will do what is best for him, no matter what that is. He is fortunate to have you as his bean and to have someone who puts his health first. Sending healing vines and peace to you both. Please let us know if there is anything at all we can do for you. You do a lot of good for a lot of people here, in addition to all you do for H, and that doesn't go unnoticed. (((Gator)))

Sarah

 

oh nooooooo gator, not H. I had no idea. I'm so very sorry. There are no words, just deeply feel your anguish. I'd be drowning them too if i were you.
(((((gator))))) (((((H))))))

 

I set H free this afternoon at 5p. I love him and miss him so much. Fly free of all your worries and that damn lymphoma my sweet, sweet kitty. Sadness does not even begin to describe. I think it was the hardest things I've ever done. Many here will miss you so much.

Thank you all.

 

more hugs, no words

 

I am so, so sorry.

 

I am so sorry to hear about this. I was hoping to hear that H pulled through :cry: How wonderful it was that you could spend the day with him. I know he felt loved. Fly free H wings_cat

 

Very sorry to hear this Gator. You did your best for H and he was lucky to have you - and vice versa. You and H have been a personal inspiration to me and I'm sure many others here. Not to mention the big help you have been to the members of this board.

I had a kitty with a meningioma which eventually did him in 3 years after surgery at the age of 18, so I have an idea how you feel. My thoughts are with you. You did great for H and gave him a better life than he would have had otherwise.

 

(((justin)))) tear...no words come easy.
fly free sweet H, what a great dad you have.

 

I'm so sorry Justin.

 

I'm so very sorry My deepest sympathies.

 

Gator-

May H's and your journey together help other cats. H's last day sounded really nice.
Thank you for your help with Boomer.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I am so sorry Gator. You've been such a great supporter on this msg board that I know you were such a great bean to H. Sending you healing & loving thoughts. wings_cat

 

sorry for your loss.

fly free Gator wings_cat

 

Oh, I'm so very sorry. :cry: Please know that the pain lessens with time, and the tears are replaced with smiles... in time.

Fly free H!

(((HUGS))) & tears,
-Steph

 

Gator,

I am so very sorry. Your constant help and support to others on this site is so appreciated. Sweet H's mission was surely to bring you joy and through you to help others. I hope you can find comfort and peace. H will never be far from you.

Take care,

Nicole

 

Sending many many cyber hugs to you and H. I am so very sorry. You are a great dadbean and you did everything you could for H.

H is flying free now, whole and healthy over the Rainbow Bridge. rb_icon

wings_cat

 

So sad to read this. I didn't know he was struggling so much recently. You have my sympathy.

 

(((Justin)))

Words can't express my sorrow for you and H, so I won't begin to try. I am sending lots of healing thoughts your way, and many happy wishes for a peaceful crossing to send H on his way to the Rainbow Bridge.

Sarah

 

justin, i'm so sorry.
fly free, H, whole and healthy to the rainbow bridge. (((HUGS)))
chris and cleo

 

Gator,

I'm so very sorry. I too had no idea and you and I just 'met'!
Being one of the Lantus Prothelysers (can't spell it! :roll: ) you've reminded me to be more open minded, for which I thank you.

I was just calling into see if the newbies you and I had worked on had posted at all.
I know how it feels to lose a soul mate kitty. Take all the time you need. PZI Isg looks like it has good eyes.

Fly free sweet (((H))) o
(((Gator)))

 

I am so sorry for your loss.
wings_cat

 

So sorry, you are a great person with a great kitty!! You should be proud of your knowledge and have helped many on this board.

 

Fly Free sweet H

(((((Justin))))) I am so very sorry for your loss. You tried so hard and loved so hard; H will always know that. Land safely, dear Hydrogen. wings_cat

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

May all your wonderful memories of H comfort you...

...'til you meet again.

 

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Fly free, H. You were much loved by your bean and will be missed by all.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

Justin,

I am so very sorry for your loss of Hydrogen. It's always been very obvious how much you loved and cared for him, don't ever doubt you did the best that you could.
Not to mention how helpful you are to the newbies, always grateful you are around to help out with PZI newbies.
Take the time you need, take good care of yourself too.

Safe crossings for H, fly free, we know he is running around up there, looking down at you and saying, "thank you dad for taking care of me"

Prayers for you Justin, remember, take care of yourself and we hope to see you back, when you're ready.

 

I am so sorry, H was lucky to have you as you were him. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that the love and support you have always given H will be with him at the Bridge as plays and waits for you.

 

Words aren't enough, but know that we are thinking of you and your sweet boy today.

wings_cat

 

I am so so so sorry for your loss of H. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Fly free H wings_cat

 

Justin, I've seen posts by you on certain forums and I always loved seeing H's picture. Not only was he a beautiful cat but he looked so much like my Blaze(GA) it was amazing. I also did not know how much you and H were dealing with. My deepest and most heartfelt sympathy on his passing. We are left with memories and tears ........always remember H knew how much you loved him and tears help relieve the pressure of grief inside us all. I am so sorry your beloved boy is gone.

 

No words can ever express the sadness I feel when I say that I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself now, please know there are so very many thinking of you now at this time.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss! Many many tears.... H was a very luck kitty to have met you.
Fly free handsome H.... fly free! wings_cat

 

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved kitty. You have always been a great help to others of us here fighting the IBD and lymphoma wars. I am sorry that H could not fight any longer. Fly free, H.

 

Fly free sweet H.
May you now be free from all that pain.
May you now rollick like a kitten at the bridge.

Justin may you find comfort and peace.

My heartfelt sympathies.

 

((((Justin)))) I'm so sorry.....sending you hugs and prayers.

Fly free sweet boy.....

 

((((((Justin))))) I am so very sorry for your loss of Hydrogen. You and H have fought the good fight. I know your heart is breaking and mine is also breaking for you. You have taken on all of H's pain now, as he is not in pain anymore. I hope in time your memories will ease your pain. Please take care of yourself in this difficult time. And reach out to us for help if you need it. Sending you peace and comfort.

(ETA) I wanted to share these thoughts with you. Someone sent them to me when we lost our dog, Dana, to bone cancer and it helped me. "I know why it hurts so much. Each moment we spend watching them, and giving meds, and coaxing to eat, and wondering how they are, and looking for something that will help, and just loving them with the awareness that our time is not unlimited, creates a filament of energy between us and them, and there are so many moments and so many filaments that they create a cable that could moor a giant ship or hold up the golden gate bridge. The bond is just so strong and thick and deep." I know you have that bond with H and that bond is not gone, even though H is not in your arms. You took such good care of H and loved him so much, that the pain is terrible now. I wish there was something I could do to help you.




Fly free Hydrogen. You are playing at the rainbow bridge now.

 

What a beautiful boy he was; I'm so sorry.

 

I too did not know how sick your boy was...I am so sorry to read of his passing Justin. That had to have been so hard for you to have to let him go. My deepest sympathies for your loss and for what you must be going through right now. ((hugs))

 

Land softly dear warrior...
So sorry

Jeanne

 

Fly free H!

Oh Justin--my heart's breaking for you.

Fly free H. Chase those butterflies and bugs, enjoy your healthy body, and keep a close eye on Justin. Visit his dreams and tug on his heartstrings every now and then.

Take care Justin. Sorry it took me so long to get here.

Terri

 

((Justin))
I ams so sorry for you loss of our sweet H.
To think we just met last week after all of this time.
Tears came to my eyes when I saw the post today.

Fly free sweet H. Your daddy loves and adores you so very very much.

 

I am so sorry you had to say goodbye so soon. What a handsome boy. How you must love him. (((((Justin)))))

Your love set him free. rb_icon

 

I'm so sorry to see that your beautiful boy has been so ill and had to leave you. Tonight he is running free and healthy - thanks to your love. It's so difficult to say goodbye and I'm sending many comforting prayers and thoughts your way - they leave such a hole in our hearts and thoughts.

May you find comfort in knowing that you did indeed set him free and may those wonderful memories and the love you've shared help you in your sadness.

We'll miss his beautiful face here also.

Emmy & Dude (& Mittsi too)

 

((((((Justin))))) I am so saddened by your loss of H. You took such great care of him; and gave him a wonderful life.
Take time for yourself to get through this. I know how very hard it is, just try to focus on the happy memories you had with him; all the joy he brought to your life.
You and H have inspired so many here to get through the tough times, and you have helped many. Just know we all feel terrible that your beautiful kitty has crossed over.
You will be in our thoughts.

Jen

 

I'm so sorry you had to make the most difficult decision. You did all you could for H and he was better for having had you as his bean. You did right by him. He's pain free, now, just like you used to know him to be. Tears for you. I know this feeling.

Fly free, H.

 

Oh Gator,
I am sooo sorry. I wish that I had known sooner... I don't know how I missed this for so long. You have been such a great friend here and so involved and caring of everyone. I almost couldn't breathe feeling your pain through my tears, so sad. I just don't know what to say because no words can take away the terrible loss of your best friend. Know that you aren't crying alone. Please don't stop posting here- I'd miss you terribly. You've helped everyone here.
Nancy

 

I a so very sorry for your loss.

~M

 

(((((((Gator))))))) My deepest sympathies. H was a lucky kitty to have had you looking out for him. Words fail me right now - all the kitties here are like family, what sad news. Please take care of yourself as you grieve, and know that H is at peace now.

(((((many hugs)))))
Joanna

 

I am so sorry to read here of your loss.
I lost Abby to intestinal lymphoma and it does indeed suck

Fly free and well one more H, never truly far away!

 

Still sending you healing & loving thoughts... I wish I could reach in and give you a <<<<<<hug>>>>>>> Miss you

please take care - xoxoxo

 

Between the tears in my eyes, Puttz and I wanted to tell you we are heartbroken. My boy is sitting here with me and letting me know you helped him through some real tough times, and H was a good friend since the first day they shook paws together...My thoughts are with you and H, take care.

 

Knowing when to let go is the greatest expression of love. How fortunate H was to have you, and you to have him. Please know how deeply sorry we are for your loss.

Jane & Silverado

 

I am so sorry I am just seeing this now. I hope your heart is mending some. I know it will take a good while to not feel a continuous emptiness. My thoughts are with you

 

I'm so sorry