4/7 Marley AMPS 165. +2 127, 81, PMPS 174, + 2 211

Why does he hide under the bed so much? Is it just security? Both my kitties have spots in separate cupboards where they retreat to for a good chunk of the day to sleep. At nights they are up and about and around the house or sleeping on us!
 
I think partly its the only place in my (small) house that is dark and super cosy.

I think basically for the most part he feels super safe with me. But occasionally he goes back into his old trauma response.

When he arrived, he didnt like being stroked or approached at all. If I moved around my house in a normal fashion, walking towards him, he would run away as if I was approaching him at 90 miles per hour screaming with an axe in my hand. I had to learn to move around like a zen monk. If I was near him being really still and quiet but with lots of thoughts in my mind, he would wag his tail really anxiously or leave. Then someone told me about the trust technique, they only told me briefly about one thing - where you have no thoughts, and you stare at one thing, and keep your eyes really still but the main thing is to not have any thoughts, which animals - especially if they are busy , feel like something physical. So - and this was way before he got diabetic, I would go and sit with him and do this. And quite quickly he'd really relax and he'd physically change positions and sink further into the floor and so I did this for a few years, just to spend time with him and for him to have these times of deep relaxation. But still if I slipped into walking around normally or have busy mind, he'd go really anxious. Sometimes now I will go and lie next to him on the bed and do this and take even further really amplifying the feeling of love in my heart and sending it out to him, and when I do that he starts purring (its another method from the trust technique) and I might fall into a sleep and it feels like bliss. And when I wase up I can see he's super blissed out and relaxed. But then if I start thinking about what I need to do, and think about getting up, even if I have hardly moved, it can wake him and he looks really suspiciously at me and then runs away as if I am a murderer. I think what happens is if he goes into that super super relaxed state, and then he comes to, its too much of a jump for his nervous system, and he freaks out, where as if he hasnt relaxed so deeply and then I get up to go, he's fine and doesnt freak out.

The other day my Mum came to train to test, and he was asleep on my bed and he let me do it but after he went under the bed for hours. I think I broke an unspoken deal with him that my bedroom is a safe place that isnt invaded.

He just has a lot of trauma and get re stimulated easily.

Yesterday I went to do a chant where he was sleeping on the bed. Normally he loves the chants and they calm him but - I dont know, maybe it was my state of mind wasnt as calm, or maybe he just wasnt in the mood but he just got off the bed and went to go in the under bed drawer. It was a chant I used to sing all the time and he really loved it and when he had hs DKA and was in hospital and I would visit him overnight, and he was really anxious, when I played it on my phone or sang it he would relax, and also when I was at my wits end, trying to get him to come for his injection and he wouldnt, when I started playing that song, he would come. So I know he likes it and it makes him feel safe. So I have no idea why he took offence yesterday. Felt like its the slightest off thing in my energy field maybe. He really has taught me so much about meditation and authenticity and emptying the mind. I had to learn it for him. You cant con a cat. All cats are super sensitive but Marley is off the charts!!!
 
Over the winter I think it was a warmth thing too, we had a particularly cold winter and extortionate energy bills so I havent had the house as warm as usual. But he's not there too much. He's often lots of other places at different times of the day. In the summer hes out and about alot, or if I am in the garden he might come and sleep on my rung. Or if I am on the sofa sometimes he comes there with me, but if I move too much he leaps off in terror and hangs out on the rug.
 
OK so its +3.5 and I wanted to test but he has gone under the bed again. For no other reason I think than its cosy and private there.

I turned down a really good paid days work because I could get anyone to come and be with Marley from +3 to test and maybe stay longer. As one nephew is away and the other is about to have a baby any day and would have to abandon ship if the baby started to want to be born.

But when he did come at that time anyway, Marley wouldnt come and and be tested.....so I am now wondering what the point of having someone here is if he wont come out.

Could I jut buy an extra time and then on the days I'm away, if I have it set for +3.5 and +4.5 snack and +5 snack?

Then I could go back to my old job sometimes......
 
Could I jut buy an extra time and then on the days I'm away, if I have it set for +3.5 and +4.5 snack and +5 snack?

Then I could go back to my old job sometimes......
You have to do what you have to do. You cannot afford to care for him if you can't care for yourself or work to put food on the table. You're such a good mom and have taken such good care of him. I don't see any reason why you can't go back to work. We can incorporate that into dosing. You can test before you leave and set the auto feeder for him.

:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Thank you so much.

Do you mean like the holiday dose?

I feel bad giving him less than he needs long term.

I do have to start working properly though.

Could it be like a fat less than normal dose the mornings I go to work?

I would rather give occasional lower doses than long term lower dose.

My work will likely be sporadic and un predictable. I might not know until the evening before if they need me. So I can plan ahead a few days getting the dose settled.

I know consistency is considered key but the body in a healthy person makes different doses according to lots of variables and in an imperfect world I would rather give occasional lower doses than long term lower dose.

I can def test, inject feed before I go, and then hopefully one or other nephew can inject in the evening before I return.
 
Since Lantus is a depot insulin, the depot will continue to affect the first part of a cycle even if you give a lower dose or skip a shot.
On days that you have to go to work, when would you leave and when would you get back? Or is there no fixed schedule? It would be different on different days?
 
So if I am doing costume I would test/feed/shoot at 6 am and leave straight away. And not be home til 9.

I didnt know I was going til 8 oc;ock the night before. It was a miracle both nephews were free.

So one nephew came at +3.5. Marley hid under a bed so my nephew never got to test, but he stayed until +6.5 and just gave small amount of food every half an hour.

Then another nephew came to do the injection and feed in the evening - that went really smoothly and fast.

Then I was back home for +3 to test

I am hoping that job will have some days coming up for me. Could be the odd day or it could be 4 days a week for a couple of weeks.

The thing is I pay my nephews so its quite expensive when one was there 3 hours!

Because he goes to sleep under the bed my mornings are quite taken up with him But I get nowhere - so much energy used up for no reason as I dont get a test result out of it. S that is why I was thinking maybe if I just have timers set for +1, +2, +3, +3.5, +4, +4.5, +5

Today at 3.5 nd 4.5 I just passed him dried liver snacks - actually I didnt give him a plus 5 today. But sometimes when he has been low before he has needed plus 5. I didnt give him any hc or mc today, bt I feel the liver does seem to raise it a bit

Maybe I could get a nephew to come for an hour +3 to +4 and if Marley doesnt come down or at least out from under the bed to eat +3 or +4 food, I could safely assume hes not too low?

Do you think if my nephews weren't free, I could just set the timers and thats it?

I am trying to launch something new working in the same place which might mean I can start later so not leave straight away. But everything is up in the air at the moment.

Yep no fixed schedules and everything could be different by the day.....
 
The main issue is - will Marley eat if there is no one to feed him? Not saying that you should stay at home and feed him or that nephews would. Just knowing whether he will eat on his own from the autofeeder will determine how we approach dosing.
 
Every time he has been low that I know of he is up and about and wanting to eat, waiting to eat.

When he's not low sometimes before +3 or +4 he sleeps and then gets up to eat about +8 or 9.

Sometimes he's hidden by about +5 when low, but its usually as hes getting really full and a bit fed up of all the tests.
 
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