From Alex and I- Loving Jackson(Deservedly Long)

Discussion in 'Lantus / Levemir / Biosimilars' started by Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA), Nov 11, 2012.

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  1. Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA)

    Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I wasn't sure whether or not to post this as I don't post regularly these days. I have been too busy caring for my Jackson. I know there are many of you who 'knew' Jackson from my posts of his too many recent battles and luckily mostly successes. I was feeling pretty smug. I figured my love was all he needed...plus tons of medication. My precious angel and Alex's beloved brother just took an rapid turn for the worst on Friday night and as hard as I tried there was nothing I could do. I sat and talked to him for a very long time and told him that if he was too tired to fight anymore it was okay. I understood. If he wanted too hang in there that would be great but he didn't have to. I told him that from the second he entered my life he brought me nothing but joy ,how I never loved anyone or anything more than I loved him and he slowly blinked at me. For that one hour, Jackson who was hiding for 24 hours, sat with me and let me love him. He looked at me while I talked to him with his paw resting on my hand all the time gently purring. 12 hours later he was gone. The pain is unbearable. Not only for me but for Alex who has never spent a day without his brother in almost 16 years except for the day last May when Jackson had surgery. I am posting this not only for me but for Alex too. Thank to everyone who has ever sent their love or good thoughts to my Jackson.

    On Oct 4 1997 I was adopted by 2 5-month-old brown mackerel striped tabbies. I honestly believe that my last cat, Chance, was behind this but however it happened it was a day that changed my life forever. These cats were, of course, Alex and my darling sweet Jackson. I was so lonely after losing Chance and just really entertaining the thought of possibly getting a kitten to keep me company so I started heading over to Pet Smart on a daily basis just to play with the babies. Then I started bringing my mom with me. The kittens were all cute but I kept seeing runny eyes or sneezing and after all I had been through with Chance I was freaked out even by the healthier looking ones in the same cages. On the floor on the bottom right was a cage with two older kitties-5 months old. They had been there for a month. No one seemed to want them as they were older and they weren’t letting them go separately. One of these little guys who turned out to be Alex kept reaching out to me like “HEY what about us”? while Jackson peered over from behind him. So I would sit and play with them and my mom said “oh look at them. They are old enough for you to know what you’re getting and they seem pretty great” but I still felt like that would be disloyal to Chance so I said I was just playing with them….EVERY DAY. One day I decided to buy new kitten supplies and when I got to the check out I realized I had taken two of everything. I was sobbing when I got home. I called the adoption woman at Pet Smart and told her I would be in at opening and not to let anyone have them. I was also fortunate enough to be able to talk to the kind gentleman who had brought them in and he gave me their whole background. From the day they were born they were partners in crime…the two lone rangers that separated from the litter of 6. The next morning my life began all over.

    I am only going to talk about Jackson because Thank God Alex is still with me. And because he is really the one who changed me. I was used to taking cared of animals, pets, pet-family members (whatever you want to call them) but I never had one that took care of me before. From the time he was vey little. Jackson was just in tune with me. It was like he knew what I was feeling and no matter what the mood he was there in sync. If I was in a silly mood he would lie on his back and beckon me to roll with him and if I didn’t he would roll and roll until I just had to stop what I was doing and join him. If I was crying, which unfortunately he saw a lot of, he was there. Not just lying next to me but with his paws on my face or my eyes and always that little pink tongue to kiss my eyes and wash away the tears. He would only leave my side to eat or use the litter box and then he would be back until he knew I was okay.

    Jackson did not like to be locked out of rooms from me. For that reason he learned how to open doors. Only ones he could reach of course but he learned the mechanics and there were so many times that I was on the toilet only to be surprised by the door opening and seeing his little face coming through the door.

    And he was daring. When he was 6 months old he would walk on top of the glass shower doors like they were a tightrope. The space between the doors and the ceiling was about 6 inches but he did it. And it was a high ceiling. He figured out how to jump from the floor to the toilet to the sink to where he wanted to be. Alex was amazed. (He finally got it too but he had to work at it). I was terrified when I would be in the bathtub and I’d look up and there was Jackson. At least I was home. What would happen if he did this and fell and I was at work? But it never happened.

    He moon-walked to Michael Jackson (true story only on his back) and would basically do anything for a laugh.

    All of the very many things that Jackson did were what made him “Jackson” but the ones that were so very special were that he would let himself be beaten up by Alex when he got diabetes because he was gentle and kind and he knew Alex was sick and if that meant being a whipping post for a while then he could do that…even when he was being cornered and growled at. That ended of course when Alex started to feel better and he may have given Alex a bite on the butt, but Jackson understood.

    And for most of Jackson’s life, he was never happier than when he was lying next to me on his side facing me on his leopard pillows with his bunny. He would fall asleep that way and stay that way all night long although I do admit that sometimes he would change position and I’d wake up with his hind paw in my nose.

    And until recently, about the last year, Jackson would not get out of bed until he had a proper full-body good morning hug that lasted at least 5 minutes, and he hugged and kissed back.

    I didn’t even realize how sick he was getting until last December. I guess he just didn’t want me to know. After he went for his echo he started to change. Always my sweet Jackson but he started sleeping on the floor and didn’t want the hugging and kissing as much. His chronic constipation was getting worse and he was straining a lot. His HCM turned into CHF and my life changed as well. I have been sleeping in the living room for the past 6 months so I would hear if anything happened to Jackson. I didn’t know what I was listening for until yesterday.

    He was always a hearty 15-18 pound cat…he was down to 9 pounds. He was eating pretty well, but not getting anything from the food to put weight on. Up until two days ago he was insistent upon taking walks with me up and down the hallway but then something happened to his hip and he was wobbling. He still wanted to walk but I wouldn’t let him.

    I really don’t know what happened except that his poor body just couldn’t fight anymore. When I held him close yesterday there was barely any breath coming out of him. My heart broke then and there. I knew it was time but I didn’t know that I had no time to get him to a comfortable place. I heard a moan and ran to him. I went to lift him but he was already dying. He had one last breath left. I think it was mine.

    A part of me went with Jackson and I will never be the same. He was my best friend ever. He was my heart, my soul and the best part of anything or anyone I have ever had the honor of knowing. I am blessed to have had that wonderful creature in my life for 15 years. It’s just so painful now.

    Mommy loves you Jackson. She always will. If I could have taken your pain I would have…the way you did for me so many times my sweet sweet baby.

    Jackson Browne Blank 4/15/1997-11/10/2012

    November 11 2012
     
  2. Dyana

    Dyana Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I'm so sorry ((((Caryl))))) what a story.
    Man, he sure knew love, didn't he.

    He will be waiting for you and him to be together again.

    Fly Free Jackson Brown Blank.
    :sad:

    Hugs to ((((Alex)))) too.
     
  3. Michelle and Mannie (GA)

    Michelle and Mannie (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Caryl, I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you. I remember you and Alex and Jackson from when I first joined the board years ago. Your post today is such a loving testimonial to the bond the three of you have. It is one that will always be. I don't think he could have had a more caring bean. I so hope that all these wonderful memories that you have written about today will be of some comfort for you. Jackson will always be with you, always in your heart, and your minds eye.

    Fly free Jackson. You will be missed, never forgotten. wings_cat
     
  4. Pip & Rupert

    Pip & Rupert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2012
    it is obvious from your post that Jackson was well well loved, and he certainly knew it. So sorry for your loss, but it seems his passing was quiet and in your arms and what more could you or he hope for. The pain WILL ease, and he'll always be there in your heart to make you smile again.
     
  5. Sienne and Gabby (GA)

    Sienne and Gabby (GA) Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    ((((Caryl)))) ((((Alex))))
    Caryl -- From your post, it is abundantly clear that you hold Jackson in a very special place in your heart. You have a lifetime of memories and because of those memories, Jackson will never be gone. Immortality is nothing more than having someone who remembers and Jackson will be remembered.

    Fly free Jackson and land softly.
     
  6. Ann & Tess GA

    Ann & Tess GA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2010
    ((((((((((Caryl and Alex)))))))))) What a love story, but it isn't ended you know. He will always be there w/ you and Alex. Just roll on the floor for the joy of it and he will be doing the same in the grass by the Bridge.

    Fly Free, sweet Jackson!
     
  7. rhiannon and shadow (GA)

    rhiannon and shadow (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    I am sorry to hear that your hearts are broken without Jackson.
    What a great Love Story!! The time we get together with our loved ones never feels like enough.
    Fly Free Jackson.
    Someday you will all be together again.
    I like the image of rolling together.
     
  8. Leslie and Jasper

    Leslie and Jasper Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2012
    Caryl, This is a wonderful story about Jackson and you love for him. I am so sorry he had to leave you and Alex for now. Fly free Jackson! wings_cat
     
  9. Deb & Spot

    Deb & Spot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    ((((Caryl)))) My heart breaks with yours. I loved reading your tribute to Jackson. He was loved so very much, as evident by your words. Hugs to both you and Alex.
     
  10. Frosty

    Frosty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2012
    Caryl, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Jackson. You were so lucky to have that quality time with him at the end. We have you and Alex in our thoughts and prayers.
     
  11. ecurie

    ecurie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2012
    Caryl, I am so sorry. Jackson sounds like the glue who holds life together. He was so well loved and he loved so well. I know you and Alex will always be better for having Jackson in your life. You are so blessed. Take comfort in each other.
    much love to you and Alex
    mary and oliver
     
  12. MJ+Donovan

    MJ+Donovan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    :cry: :cry:
    [​IMG]

    MJ
     
  13. Ann & Maggie11 (GA)

    Ann & Maggie11 (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2010
    (((Caryl))) I am so sorry about Jackson. What an amazing kitty and close bond you had with him, the way he had to be near you always. My heart and prayers go out to you. Hug Alex extra tight for me.
     
  14. Barb & Checkers (GA)

    Barb & Checkers (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Caryl, I'm so sorry for your pain. What a wonderful love you enjoyed with Jackson. I know that you and Alex will miss him terribly. My heart hurts for you.
    He will love you from afar now, until the day he comes running up to you, at the bridge wings_cat
     
  15. Denise & Honey

    Denise & Honey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2012
    so sorry for your loss Caryl.
    Jackson sounds a truely amazing and beautiful soul.
     
  16. Angela & Blackie & 3 Others

    Angela & Blackie & 3 Others Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2010
    {{{{{{{{{{CARYL}}}}}}}}}} Fly free, sweet Jackson, fly free.
     
  17. Grayson & Lu

    Grayson & Lu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2012
    What a beautiful and moving tribute to your beloved boy. Jackson was such a lucky boy to have been loved by you. Hugs to both you and Alex. God Bless.
     
  18. DD & Tinkerbell

    DD & Tinkerbell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I am so sorry Caryl, my heart is breaking with you.

    Fly Free, sweet Jackson.
     
  19. Marje and Gracie

    Marje and Gracie Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2010
    (((((Caryl))))) so many tears of sorrow for you in LL today because so many of us know the inimitable Jackson through you and Alex. What a beautiful tribute to an amazing soul. There are no words to comfort you but know that your LL family understands the grief of allowing a very much loved companion cross.

    Gentle journey sweet Jackson.
     
  20. Amy&TrixieCat

    Amy&TrixieCat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    I am so very sorry, Caryl...Jackson has always been, and always will be,a truly special Angel. Many hugs and prayers for you....

    Amy
     
  21. Ella & Rusty & Stu(GA)

    Ella & Rusty & Stu(GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2010
    Dear (((((Caryl))))),
    Your loving tribute to your boy brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful life he had with you and Alex. He'll always be with you in his special place in your heart, waiting patiently until you meet again. Fly free, sweet Jackson. Watch over your mamabean just as you always have. You are much loved.

    Sending our deepest sympathy to you and Alex,

    Ella & Edward, Rusty, and Stu (GA)
     
  22. Deborah & Shasta

    Deborah & Shasta Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Caryl, I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Jackson. From the kind words you wrote about him, he seems like the perfect gentleman. I pray that the pain eases for you and Alex and I pray that Jackson continues to look after both of you from above. Many blessings to you. ~Deborah
     
  23. Tena and Curry(GA)

    Tena and Curry(GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Oh Caryl.....I'm truly sorry to hear about Jackson. And the tribute you wrote is utterly beautiful.

    May the memories of your time together help to carry you through this difficult time.

    Sending you lots of hugs Caryl. You and Alex are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Fly free sweet Jackson, fly free.
     
  24. Barbara and tuffy

    Barbara and tuffy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    (((Caryl))) I am so sorry you lost Jackson.

    With sympathy, Barbara

    Fly free and land softly Jackson, you will be missed. wings_cat
     
  25. julie & punkin (ga)

    julie & punkin (ga) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    i'm so sorry to hear this caryl . . . i know how much you loved your sweet jackson. you've written a wonderful tribute to him - thanks for sharing his story.

    jackson may be gone from your side for the moment, but he will never truly leave you. many hugs from me and punkin.

    [​IMG]
     
  26. Emmy & Dude

    Emmy & Dude Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I am so sorry to see that Jackson has lost his battle to stay with you and that he had to leave - we try so desperately to keep them and sometimes it just can't be. My heart goes out to you and to sweet Alex - it's horrible to see them lose their litter mates and/or partner kitties - they don't seem to understand. I know Mittsi still calls Dude from time to time - going from room to room - and it's so difficult.

    I'm sure that Jackson knew exactly what you were saying to him - what a wonderful story and life you've had with the two of them. It's so special and they give us so much love.

    Again, my heart goes out to you in your sadness - they leave such a hole in our hearts and lives

    Sending many hugs and comforting prayers your way.


    Emmy & Dude (in spirit) and Mittsi too
     
  27. Alexa and Reuben

    Alexa and Reuben Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Bless your heart Caryl... you and Jackson and Alex sound like the most loving family ever... I am so very very sorry about Jackson .. and I wish you both peace until you are all together again... :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:
     
  28. Lisa and Do Lou (GA)

    Lisa and Do Lou (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2010
    ((((((((((((Caryl)))))))))) thank you for sharing his story tears are flowing here I so understand the bond you had with Jackson since its the same for me with Do Lou

    Fly Free Jackson wings_cat rb_icon rb_icon
     
  29. PeterDevonMocha

    PeterDevonMocha Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I'm so sorry for your loss .. Jackson is at the bridge, telling all the other GA's how wonderful his life was with you, and Alex .. He is just waiting till he can run right to you again ...
     
  30. Pat+Raja+Shadow (GA)

    Pat+Raja+Shadow (GA) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Oh Caryl....I am so very very sorry to hear about your loss....your sweet Jackson....
    I am sending hugs across the miles to you and Alex at this very sad time.....
    Your post was so beautiful...the love and life you shared with jackson was so sweet
    and I thank you for sharing it with us.

    Fly Free Fly Free dear Jackson Brown Blank.....until we meet again... wings_cat
     
  31. MelanieAndRacci

    MelanieAndRacci Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2010
    Dear Caryl & Alex,

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your Jackson boy. I know how much it must hurt to miss him so. Racci & I lost her lifelong companion, her mother, last year. It does get easier. I hope the time that you can remember the wonderful times without being sad comes soon so you can just look back and enjoy the memories of your wonderful boy.

    Take care of each other.

    Hugs,
    Melanie & Racci
     
  32. Melanie and Smokey

    Melanie and Smokey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2010
    I am so sorry. What a wonderful tribute. wings_cat
     
  33. Roni and Moonie

    Roni and Moonie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    I am deeply sorry to read this, but what a beautiful tribute to your beloved furbaby..
    My heart is so broken for you, but just know you gave him the most wonderful life and care..He knew, he loved you, he will always be with you and you will see him again..Our deepest sympathy!!
     
  34. Cheryl & Whiskers (GA)

    Cheryl & Whiskers (GA) Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2010
    ((((Caryl &b Alex))))

    Your tribute for Jackson is so lovely. I'm terribly sorry you have lost him.

    Fly free sweet Jackson and Land softly.
     
  35. Frip&Grip

    Frip&Grip Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2010
    [​IMG]

    (((Caryl))) I'm so sorry for your loss. What a great tribute… Jackson was your best friend; you had a beautiful bond with him. I understand that connection… Frip and I also hold “hands”. cat_pet_icon

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers … Take care of yourself and (((Alex)))…

    Fly free sweet Jackson o:)
     
  36. Nina and KB

    Nina and KB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    (((( Caryl and Alex ))))

    I'm so sorry, Caryl, and I know how lost you and Alex must feel right now. Thank you for sharing Jackson with us. There is no doubt he was well loved and will always be a part of your heart.
     
  37. Jill & Alex (GA)

    Jill & Alex (GA) Senior Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    (((((Caryl))))), I'm so sorry. I know how special Jackson was to you. He knew how much you loved him.
    My heart is breaking for you.

    wings_cat Fly free dear Jackson...
     
  38. asoolty

    asoolty Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2010
    Jackson was an angel wings_cat and angels always need to fly

    until then Jackson will be waiting for his family

    sorry for your loss Caryl, what a great life you gave him.
     
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